I pulled away, lost my balance and landed on my backside. I sat there for a moment, sinking into the mud and feeling the wet begin to seep through my trackies.
‘I’m sorry,’ he said, helping me up. I stood there for a moment. Jamie ran his finger round the collar of his shirt. He looked so good in his morning suit.
‘So, that’s your final answer. You won’t marry me?’
‘No,’ I said softly.
‘Fine,’ he said. ‘You’ll never have to see me again.’
‘That’s not what I want!’
‘It’s simple. Either you want me or you don’t,’ he said defiantly.
‘So you’re going to blackmail me? Wedding or nothing?’ I asked.
‘Yes, wedding or nothing,’ he said.
We stared at each other for a few moments. He was waiting for an answer, but I couldn’t give it. He turned suddenly and walked away, crossing the road to the green by the pub.
I should have gone after him. I should have gone after him and stopped him, but something held me back. I watched him cross the green, and vanish round the corner into the pub. I burst into tears and for a few minutes had to hold onto the gate until I had composed myself. Then I trudged my way back up the drive. When I reached the back door my mother pulled it open.
‘Well?’ she said grinning hopefully. She grabbed my arm so I could balance and pull off the wellies.
‘It’s over,’ I said.
Mum hit the roof. She ranted whilst everyone looked on. She said I’d never find anyone as good as Jamie, that I’d made a fool of myself and the family, and that she might as well go up to bed and die of shame.
‘Okay Annie,’ said Dad firmly taking my mother’s arm. ‘That’s enough.’
‘I think this vill be the making of Natalie,’ said Gran, stubbing out her cigarette in the fruit bowl. ‘She needs to see the vorld! I vas lucky enough to, ven my family had to flee persecution from the Nazis…’
‘You didn’t have to flee,’ shouted Mum. ‘The Hungarians were Nazi allies! And you always said how handsome you thought Hitler was.’
‘Don’t be so ridiculous, Annie…’ snapped Gran. ‘I thought Himmler vas the handsome one. If Himmler had been in charge, the Nazis vould have done so much better.’
‘Do you hear this Martin?’ Mum said to Dad. ‘This is the woman I had to grow up around. No wonder my nerves are shot!’
Gran stood up. She eyed my wedding cake for a moment.
‘Natalie, I vas planning to go on to London after your vedding, to stay with my friend Paulo; he has a flat right in the middle of everything… You could come vith me?’
‘London!’ said Mum. ‘Why would she want to go all the way there?’
‘I think Natalie needs some time away, so the dust can settle,’ said Gran.
‘What? A holiday?’ I asked. The thought of staying in Devon and watching the mushroom cloud rise above the wreck of a wedding was giving me anxiety.
‘Think of it as a coming of age,’ said Gran. ‘Paulo runs an open house, everyone is velcome. He plays clarinet for the London Symphony Orchestra.’
‘And who’s going to pay for this?’ asked Mum.
‘I vill take care of Natalie,’ said Gran.
‘Maybe I could go? Just for a bit?’ I said, the idea suddenly seeming like my saviour. Mum’s lips thinned.
‘She is an adult now,’ said Dad.
‘You could bring your friend too,’ said Gran gesturing to Sharon.
‘Really?’ said Sharon. ‘Wow, I’ve never been to London before.’
‘What about me?’ asked Micky. ‘Can I go to London?’
‘You’ve got school Micky,’ said Mum.
‘That’s not fair! Why does Natalie get to go to London? I hate you!’ cried Micky.
‘Micky love, you can go to London with your Gran, when you’re older,’ said Dad.
‘Even if I don’t leave someone at the altar?’ asked Micky.
‘Um… yes,’ said Dad.
There was a silence. Gran came over and put her arms around me and Sharon.
‘So that’s decided. You are coming to London, vith me, yes?’
I looked at Sharon’s excited face and I nodded.
‘Ok, let’s go to London,’ I said.
That evening, we went to London. And since then, I’ve rarely been back.
Act One
Fifteen years later…
The key
I woke early with the summer sunshine pouring through the window, marking out squares on the bedroom wall of my flat. I stretched and sat up in bed. My boyfriend Benjamin was still asleep beside me. I watched him for a moment, and traced my fingers lightly over his muscular back. His eyelids flickered under his long dark lashes, but he didn’t stir. A rush of excitement for the day ahead propelled me out of bed. I took a quick shower, pulled on a loose summer dress, and then went to make breakfast.