“You need a woman for that. No marriage required.”
“Uncle Chris says if I bring kids into the world, I should be willing to make them legitimate.”
Cash settled on the sandwich shop, the same one he, Stretch, and Fee had once ordered from several times during a weekend of fucking. Resenting the memory, he threw the menu aside and picked up the one from the Thai restaurant.
“Kids are more responsibility than wives,” he said, looking over the menu. “Children are helpless little minions you have to steer in the right direction.”
“Children love unconditionally,” Diesel countered.
“There’s no such thing as unconditional love.” Stretch had conditions and so did Fee.
“I disagree.”
“That’s your prerogative.” The Thai-style chicken wings appealed to Cash. “What would you like to eat?”
“Food,” Diesel answered cheekily.
Cash ordered soft spring rolls, his chicken wings, and shrimp bikini, then went to the fridge and got a six pack of beer. In his living room, he lined the bottles on the edge of his coffee table, like usual, near the chair he always sat in. The routine comforted him. Order in his life was a must. Call it a holdover from his military days, one of the few he held onto, and a rebellion against the disorder of his childhood.
He opened a bottle and finished half in a few gulps, nodding toward the sofa so Diesel could sit. “You going at Daphne again?”
Instead of lightening the conversation as Cash intended, Diesel’s face fell. “What if Mindy finds out?”
“Too fucking late, D. You’ve already fucked over her.”
“I like her.” He squirmed in his seat and studied his hands. “But I’d leave her in a minute if Fee gave me a chance.”
The beer in Cash’s mouth exploded out. His Fee? He couldn’t have heard the little motherfucker right. “Ophelia Donovan? Outlaw’s sister. Fee,” he added, to be one hundred percent certain.
“Yeah.” A dreamy expression crossed Diesel’s face. “She’s so pretty, Cash. Daphne gave me tips on how to please a woman. I’ve been with other girls at school to get experience, for when I make my move on Fee.”
When I make my move on Fee. Imagining Fee with anyone other than him mirrored imagining Stretch with someone else. Cash hated it. The jealousy he’d experienced when he’d run across the two of them earlier today had been immediate and intense, vacillating from Fee to Stretch, until it centered on both of them. They’d been enjoying each other. Without him. As if they could move on, without him, and leave him all alone, and on his own.
What was that? Where had that shit come from? Had he lost his fucking mind?
Those feelings notwithstanding, hearing Diesel—a little wet-behind-the-ears puppy—moon over Fee pissed Cash off.
“If you touch Fee, Outlaw will bury you,” he said in a hard voice, ignoring the hypocrisy of his words and the irony of the whole situation. “She’s off limits to you.”
As if he knew the basis of the statement, Diesel lifted a brow in question.
“To all of us,” Cash amended. “Outlaw doesn’t want her with a motherfucker from his club.”
“Uncle Chris wants her happy.”
Truth.
Perhaps, if Cash was willing to show he’d make Fee happy, Outlaw wouldn’t have a problem.
Except Cash didn’t know what that entailed. Giving up fucking random people? What about Stretch? Fuck. Outlaw wouldn’t want Fee involved in something so sordid. However, to Cash, what he had with Stretch and Fee wasn’t sordid. They were peace and happiness, love and acceptance.
Yet Outlaw knew Cash took nothing seriously, especially relationships. The latest stunt might save Cash from suspicion but it would confirm Outlaw’s already-justified determination to keep Fee away from Cash.
Shoving aside his regret at his latest antics, he looked to Diesel again.
“I’ll love her for the rest of my life,” the kid said, seeing Cash’s attention back on him. “Worship her just like he worships Aunt Meggie.”
“Stop calling her aunt.” His thoughts, his guilt, and the sincerity in Diesel’s tone infuriated Cash. Since he couldn’t vent over his real reason, he chose an asinine one. “Meggie’s six or seven years older than you. Definitely not your fucking aunt. You sound ridiculous.”
Diesel’s shoulders slumped.
You’re such an asshole. Fee’s and Stretch’s voices blended in his head and taunted Cash.
“Fuck, I’m sorry. It’s just…” He couldn’t have Fee. He’d put conditions on his relationship with Stretch. And he was fucking with Outlaw’s marriage to hide behind.