Misfit(283)
This time around, she’d do the right thing and continue with her meds, not wanting to risk another meltdown as she’d had a few weeks ago. It seemed the more she stopped doing as the doctor ordered, the worst her episodes became.
The moment she’d felt her bleeding start, she’d known she’d made a mistake in taking out her revenge against an innocent baby. She just hadn’t been able to stop herself. If Johnnie ever discovered that she’d purposely destroyed their baby, out of anger, he’d never forgive her.
Despite a niggling worry that Johnnie would desert her, prior to the events of the past year, somewhere deep down she’d known he wouldn’t abandon her. Sending her away had always been for her own good, something she recognized in the right frame of mind. Like now. She understood that she controlled the ending of her marriage.
No more. Johnnie had gotten the upper hand, and Kendall knew, without a single doubt, he’d leave and take their kids if she didn’t get her act together. Not even pregnancy would stop him. She’d pushed him once too many times.
“Kendall?”
“I don’t feel like doing anything,” she told Fee quietly, and stood. “I’m really tired.”
“Yeah, but the guys have something planned, and they want us there.”
She wanted to be there, but she’d have to face Meggie—and Outlaw—neither of whom she’d seen since Bunny’s wedding, a month ago.
“I’m probably the last person anyone wants to see.”
“By anyone you mean my brother, right?” Fee asked on a sigh.
Kendall nodded. “And Meggie.”
“How about I call Meggie? Ask her to come over. If she agrees, you know everything is fine with you.”
“I miss our brunches, Fee. I’ve been such a beast to her.”
“To everyone,” Fee corrected, bumping Kendall’s shoulder and smiling. “It’s okay. We were all pretty angry with you, but it’s in the past and we came out basically unscathed.”
Abandoning thoughts of hair and makeup, Kendall turned and grabbed Fee’s hands. “Is it? At Bunny’s wedding, I told Meggie to tell Johnnie to do a wedding like that for me. I wanted her and him to plan it. My husband was right. I couldn’t be bothered with all those details. I even told her what wedding dress I wanted and where to get my cake from. Everything! She didn’t respond.”
“Kendall,” Fee started in warning tones.
“But I want a big wedding, too. If Meggie had agreed, I would know she’s forgiven me. She’s always helped me. Looked out for me. Had my back.”
“You’re Kendall Donovan,” Fee reminded her, stuffing her phone back into her jeans pocket. Still early in her pregnancy, she wasn’t showing yet. “Since when have you needed anyone to look out for you?”
Kendall bowed her head. “Oh, Fee, since forever. I’ve just been too stubborn to admit it.”
“Maybe, you didn’t realize it until you’d lost it.”
Fee’s words sounded ominous, but Kendall had to agree.
“I don’t even have Roxy anymore.”
“Roxy wouldn’t have deserted you if she could’ve helped it.”
Just thinking of Bailey’s mom sent tears to Kendall’s eyes. She managed a nod.
She’d brought it all on herself. Now, she would further alienate everyone if she didn’t attend whatever the guys were planning. She’d taken a shower right after Johnnie left, and washed and dried her hair, but hadn’t styled it in a particular way. She rarely did. Her hair had grown out again, to where she could wear it as she liked it best—loose and free.
“Can you bump it a little? It could use some body.”
“Sure,” Fee agreed without hesitation.”
By the time Fee finished, the ends of Kendall’s hair had a nice curl. She stared in her mirror, then sidled another gaze at her pregnancy test. She’d wanted this, so she’d have to make the best of it.
Johnnie adjusted the turquoise-colored bow tie of his tuxedo as he considered himself in the mirror of Wilkins’s bedroom in the church rectory, grumbling under his breath. He’d hated wearing this shit for Megan’s wedding. Doing it for Kendall was worth it, but still goddamn uncomfortable.
But Kendall wanted a formal wedding, and a formal wedding she’d get. Thanks to Meggie, he hadn’t had much to do but go to his fitting with the guys. And, of course, cough up the money.
The door opened and Christopher walked in, his frown fiercer than when he wanted to kill someone. Turning, Johnnie smirked at the tux his brother wore.
“Not a motherfuckin’, goddamn, fuckin’, fucked up word,” he growled. “If Megan ain’t sucked my cock to get me to wear this, I woulda been in my fuckin’ cut and jeans. But the wicked little bitch made me for-fuckin-get my motherfuckin’ name. Next thing my ass knew I was agreein’ to this.”