A bitter stare replaced her satisfaction. “I fucking hate you,” she snarled. “But I can’t seem to not want sex with you, as much as I fucking try. I finger my pussy thinking of you.”
As those images assaulted him, he frowned and thrust his fingers through his hair.
“The more you fucking best me, the more I want you. You’re the only one I’ve ever met who I can’t crack. Eventually, any other man, every other man, gives in to me. I get them where I want them. Not you. How you can outwit me is something I don’t understand. Even Johnnie softens when I cry. I find a way to get him to back off and give me what I want. Why won’t you give in to me? What does Meggie have that she has a man like you wrapped around her fucking finger? Do you know how frustrating that is?”
“In other words, you play Johnnie.” Christopher refused to address her other craziness.
Her lower lip trembled. “No, I don’t play him. I gentle him down. He can be so frightening when he wants to be and…and if I don’t get him to ease off, I’ll lose him. I love him and, other than my children, he’s all I have.”
Christopher cocked his head to the side. “You really love him or is it just fuckin’ need?”
“I love him. I swear. Leaving him, months ago, made me realize just how much. For the first time, I was strong and without a man, on my own two feet. I didn’t need him and I could rely on myself. My job gave me that independence. I missed him so much.” Sniffling, she bowed her head. “I missed you, too.”
Just listening to her felt like a betrayal to Johnnie. Christopher couldn’t understand how she professed to love Johnnie, yet still want him.
“I don’t know why,” she managed. “God knows, I hate you. You’re uncouth. Ignorant. Perverted. Uneducated. Violent. Psychopathic. Oversexed. Chauvinistic. Just a general fucking asshole.”
“You through yet?”
“You have no counterattack?” she asked in surprise. “No insults to hurl my way?”
“Nope. Cuz, after today, I ain’t talkin’ to you a-fuckin-gain. It worked out fuckin’ well for me before. Why fuck with success? The less I talk to you, the less a chance I have of fuckin’ you up.”
“You haven’t fucked me up right now,” she said softly.
“Don’t fuckin’ tempt me,” he grumbled.
She pursed her lips. “So what now?” she asked after a moment of silence.
“Now you get some fuckin’ clothes on and we head back to the club.”
“What does Meggie have that I don’t? Whatever else is wrong between me and Johnnie, we always have sex. I know how to please a man.”
Christopher would never be able to get through to Kendall about the two of them fucking. Never. Ever. She’d always carry a sick fascination for him. “Kendall, fuck, you fuckin’ think I’m the lowest, stupidest motherfucker a-fuckin-live. You got a good motherfucker. Johnnie educated like you. He like that preppy bullshit you like. He listen to fucking opera for you. I ain’t a motherfucker you wanna fuck around with, so why the fuck you still talkin’ about us fuckin’?”
“You’re all of that,” she grouched, throwing him the evil eye. “But you’re also charismatic and sexy and the way you’re with Meggie…you’d kill your children if it meant saving her. You worship her.”
“She worship me right back,” he told her. “All the shit you crucify my ass for don’t fuckin’ matter to Megan. Two things she ask me for. Two. Fidelity and not abusing her. The first one? Even when she had evidence, she believed in me. You and Johnnie ain’t got that. You want him to be a motherfucker he not. You so busy focusin’ on Megan, you fuckin’ lost yourself. Fuck all drivin’ you looped outta your fuckin’ head but my girl. She the catalyst for all your fuckin’ crazy bullshit. That don’t mean you depressed. That mean you stone fuckin’ obsessed. Stop competin’ with my wife. Let your man be himself. Believe that the motherfucker got what’s best for you in mind. Always and forever. Cuz he fuckin’ do.”
“Are you going to tell Meggie?”
“That you asked me to fuck you?”
She nodded.
“What the fuck you think?” Of course he would.
“Okay,” she whispered miserably. “She won’t easily forgive me. She’s so different with me since you were kidnapped.”
“I wonder fuckin’ why,” he said sarcastically. “Any-fuckin-way, do it matter if Megan forgive you. You fuckin’ hate her.”
“That’s the same thing Fee said. I don’t hate Meggie. I resent her terribly. Her easy friendship with Johnnie and how she is with you. She has all the power and control. With one word, she can order you to kill someone or save their lives. Her.”