Misfit(205)

Concern replaced Johnnie’s confusion. “Talk to Val. We have some runs coming up. Let him schedule you on one of the big ones.”

Drugs or guns. Even that didn’t thrill him, when the danger once would’ve had him over the moon. He nodded. “Thanks.”

Sighing, Johnnie pulled out a cigarette. “Spit it out, Cash. What the fuck’s wrong with you? Does it have anything to do with Fee coming home from the hospital?”

Cash wouldn’t admit that was part of his problem. “How do you do it, Johnnie?”

“Do what?”

“Be a biker and a family man?”

He released a plume of smoke into the air. “It isn’t always easy. For instance, when it hit me you were here, I had to decide if I should keep walking as Rory’s father and Kendall’s husband or if I should be your vice president.”

President, for the time being, but Cash wouldn’t point that out. No one wanted to think about why that was the case, since Outlaw should be out of jail, by now.

“What made you decide to be my vice president?”

Jamming the cigarette into the corner of his mouth, Johnnie shrugged. “I need to cool off before I see Kendall,” he admitted. “I just spoke to my son. The tears in his voice just about killed me. Kendall’s at it again.” Taking the cigarette in hand, he flicked the ashes onto the floor. “I’m thinking about getting a vasectomy like Christopher suggested. I can’t handle Kendall’s pregnancies much longer. When her bad behavior extends to my son, I draw the fucking line. I want to shake her until her fucking teeth rattle.” Drawing on the cigarette again, he leaned next to Cash. “I love her so much, but I’m so fucking sorry she’s pregnant, Cash. She says she’s on her medicine, but her behavior suggests otherwise.”

Maybe, he should get Kendall the abortion pills. She didn’t want the kid and she was making everyone miserable.

“What about an abortion?” he fished.

“I told her to get one, then felt guilty as hell for wanting to destroy my kid because Kendall won’t listen. My anger fuels her bad behavior. Unless I do something drastic, I can’t handle her on my own when she’s like this. Zoann’s talking about burying her and Megan’s past fed up. If she isn’t on my side, then I’m completely fucked.”

Johnnie’s explanation made sense. It wasn’t the kid’s fault he’d been made. Hopefully, by now, Kendall realized that. Cash wouldn’t care what she did if her actions didn’t affect Johnnie.

“Meggie is Kendall’s verbal punching bag, brother,” he said, his mind whirling. “Everyone gets tired of that shit.”

“I’m tired of it. I can only imagine how Megan feels. Without her pretense of being Kendall’s BFF, Christopher will pick up on the troubles.”

Kendall would be fucked, then. The way she’d fucked over Fee would be vindicated, a punishment she deserved.

Cash remembered his mother’s words. “For every problem, there’s a solution. You just have to take a moment to forget the bullshit and focus on solving.” Wise words to remember. “I have a question for you, but you have to promise me you won’t fuck me up for asking.”

Throwing the cigarette stump to the concrete, Johnnie stomped it out. “Ask.”

“Promise.”

“If this is about Kendall, the floor is open, Cash. I’m willing to listen to anything to help her. Help us.”

“Do you love her or are you just substituting her for Megan?”

Cash expected outrage or indignation, not the bleak look Johnnie turned to him.

“I love her more than any of you will ever know, but she makes it so fucking hard to be her husband. What will it take for her to do as she’s supposed to do? Christopher’s already shot me once. If he gets to the point where he has to do it again, he’ll kill me. I won’t get shot in the fucking shoulder. It’ll be my head.”

For the first time, Cash heard Johnnie’s smidgeon of fear toward Outlaw. Fuck. Anytime Johnnie feared their president, Cash stood no chance.

Johnnie was too close to the situation to find an objective solution, so Cash thought of one.

“Send Kendall away until after this baby is born.”

“I might have to, especially if she’s taking out her hatred for Christopher on my son.”

That statement lost Cash. He’d think her feelings toward her husband would guide her treatment of their kid. “How can she do that?”

“Don’t repeat this to anyone, but Kendall hates CJ. Fucking despises a small boy. Who in their right mind feels that way about a kid? In CJ, she sees a mini Christopher. When I heard Rory crying and Megan so focused on me coming there, on Rory playing, I knew. Kendall must be taking out her dislike on my child. Her child. She’s either making him stand straight or not letting him play with the other kids, or some other fucked up thing, in her quest to stop him from being…” He shook his head. “From being a barbarian.”