Misfit(160)
“Hey, I was up here jamming to your music. You have eclectic tastes.” He’d played Unsteady by the X Ambassadors one moment, then switched to Prince’s Purple Rain in the next.
“Yeah? You like the songs I played?”
She nodded, cursing another errant tear slipping down her cheeks. Frowning, he sat next to her, crowding her in.
“Are you okay?”
“Perfect,” she answered with a brightness she didn’t feel.
He thumbed a tear away, his familiarity surprising her. His gesture reeked of intimacy. She had to be insane. He wasn’t even seventeen yet.
“Why are you crying?”
“Just emotional,” she admitted. In the months he’d been living with Christopher and Meggie, Diesel was always sweet. Life had matured him faster than normal, but he too tried to be more grown up than necessary. “It’s Mother’s Day today and I’m thinking about my mom. I miss her so much.”
“I miss my mom, too. Sometimes, I hate her. She just left me and my dad. Honestly, I don’t remember much about her. But she left me. Who does that to their own kid?”
Fee grabbed Diesel’s hand. “It’s hard to understand now. You’re still young, but she had her reasons. No mother would leave their child just because.” She wanted to make the boy feel better and didn’t balk when he laid his head on her shoulder.
“I wonder if she’s still alive.”
“Ask Christopher to search for her.”
“I don’t want him to think I’m ungrateful. I’m always afraid he’ll make me leave. Abandon me like my mom and dad.”
“Christopher thinks of you as one of his sons, Diesel,” Fee reassured him. “Besides, Meggie adores you, and she’s the boss of the house.”
Lifting his head, Diesel grinned, his eyes twinkling. “For such an itty bitty thing, she knows how to put the fear of God into me and Outlaw.”
As if her emotions weren’t overwhelming enough, hearing those words reminded Fee of what Kendall had said about Meggie holding her brother so high up on a pedestal.
“They’re happy, right? Christopher’s happy?” she asked, already knowing the answer. Inner darkness was making her miserable today. “Never mind. That’s a stupid question.”
“No, it isn’t. Nothing you say is stupid.”
Staring at her, he tucked some of her hair behind her ears.
Oh, no. Laughing nervously, Fee smoothed her hands over her thighs, revealed in her cutoff shorts. She cleared her throat. “How’s your girlfriend?”
“We broke up, but I don’t want to talk about her. I want to talk about us.”
“Diesel—”
“Fee, please listen to me?” he implored, his earnest look making Fee do as he asked. He smiled and turned to her, grabbing both her hands. “I’m young, but I’ve watched you since I’ve been here. I love you so much. I’ve saved all my money to buy you the best engagement ring in the world, if you’ll have me. Whatever you want, I’ll work my ass off to give to you. We don’t have to tell anyone if you accept, not until I’m eighteen. You’re beautiful and you’re kind and you’re smart. You always smell so good. You’re everything.” He drew in a deep breath, as if he needed to shore up more courage to continue.
Fee didn’t intend to interrupt, shocked into speechlessness by the intensity of his declaration and the suddenness of it. Diesel’s intentions came out of nowhere.
“More than anything, you’re like me. All alone. We’ll understand each other and the sadness inside of us.” Sliding to the floor, Diesel got on one knee. “Ophelia Donovan, will you do me the pleasure of marrying me? I promise to always put you first, to work to buy you whatever you want, and to do whatever I must to make you the happiest woman alive.”
Fee searched her mind for a way to gently refuse him. She didn’t want to hurt his feelings, not after his speech that grown men could take notes from. Leaning forward, she placed a light kiss on his lips.
“Diesel, you’re so sweet. You’re going to make some woman very happy, but you’re not finished growing up. Living life. You don’t want to be saddled with a wife at eighteen.”
“But I love you.”
“You don’t know me,” she countered. “Not well enough to say you love me.” She nodded to the spot next to her. “Sit.”
Head bowed, he followed her instructions. “I slept with Daphne and she didn’t care how old I was.”
Daphne had spread herself quite thin, Fee thought without charity, irritated at Diesel’s announcement. It wasn’t her place to pass her opinion on that, so she’d stick to the matter at hand. “It was just sex. You’re talking a lifetime commitment. Worrying about a wife might dampen whatever plans you have.”