“Then stop saying it because I don’t intend to stop calling you that.”
Without waiting for an invitation, Stretch went to the living room and sat on the sofa. The same one he’d sat on when Fee had given him the choice. At the time, he’d mistaken it for power and respect.
“What are you doing here?” Cash asked, sitting in his favorite chair.
The usual line of beer bottles was missing from the table. Cash had moved to harder stuff.
“Fee is dating again.”
A look too fleeting to identify and too intense to ignore crossed Cash’s face. “And?” he rasped after a moment. “She’s a woman. She has needs.”
That’s the part that was killing Stretch. Her needs being met by someone else. “Don’t you give a fuck?”
That look reappeared and disappeared like a flash of lightning. He shrugged. “Does it matter if I do? Does it matter if you do? She made the fucking choice to walk away.”
Wrong. “She made the choice to end the three of us. You made the choice to end you and I.” Pain and bitterness welled within him. “Because of her.”
Cash drank again. “Tell me this, Stretch. If you see you and I being happy without her, then I’m willing to go forward with you this moment.”
Stretch heart sped up at Cash’s words, his future suddenly not so bleak. Cash would be in his arms again. In his bed. He’d never gotten out of his head and heart. Knowing that Cash was willing to reconcile made Stretch giddy.
Fee’s image rose in his head and intruded on his happiness. The time they’d spent together in Kansas City, and her consideration of him from the moment she’d decided not to compete for Cash, sent aching despair tumbling through him.
Goddamn her. His relationship with Cash had been conducted in secret out of necessity. Different from keeping it from Outlaw, but just as dangerous if discovered. Why the fuck couldn’t she be satisfied with what they shared?
“You can’t, can you?” Cash asked softly, without a hint of arrogance. Just sadness. “Somewhere along the way we fell in love with her.”
“I love you,” Stretch admitted, then cringed, waiting for Cash’s retort.
He leaned his head back on the chair. “I love you, too, babe,” he said, fatigue curling around the words. “It took this fuck-up for me to admit it to myself. I can’t talk for you or how you feel about her, but I love her, too. I want what she wants. What you want. But I don’t want it the way you two do. Can you understand that?”
He’d be a cold motherfucker not to. He nodded.
Fee had gotten under Cash’s skin in a way no one else ever had. At one time, that would’ve affected Stretch in a negative way, but he even understood that. She’d gotten under his skin, too. Accepting him for who he was, as she had, made him feel a little less worthless.
“Tell me what to do.”
“I don’t know what to say, Cash.” If he had answers, he wouldn’t feel so miserable.
“I once told Fee that the three of us didn’t have to fuck together all the time. As badly as I want to take you into my arms right now and kiss you senseless, it doesn’t feel right.”
Once again, Stretch understood. The fabric of their relationship had been ripped apart.
“Where do we go from here?” Cash asked, rubbing his head, his eyes bloodshot. “Can we still be friends?”
“Friends with rules,” Stretch said.
At Cash’s grin, Stretch turned his head so he wouldn’t reveal how the sight of his lips affected him. “Rules are boring. Benefits are better.”
“Rules are no flaunting other men and women around me. The same goes for me with you.” As if he intended to touch anyone else anytime soon. “No discussing our former relationship. Can we do that?”
Cash finished the bottle and sat it on the table. “Yes.”
After a moment of silence, Stretch stood. He was happy he’d come. The visit had been needed and he felt somewhat better. However, he’d have to go it alone to watch Fee with Noah fucking Carson.
“I’m heading out, friend.”
Cash got to his feet, too, and blocked Stretch’s path. Caressing the curve of his jaw, he threaded his fingers through Stretch’s hair, sending tingles down his spine and making his balls ache. He pressed his lips to his.
Never able to resist Cash, Stretch opened his mouth, tangled his tongue with Cash’s, tasting the bourbon. The scent of Cash heated Stretch’s blood, and he groaned, rubbing his hard cock against Cash’s and losing himself to the kiss.
Cash pulled away, stepping back.
Stretch had mistaken the contact for passion, when it had been farewell, a final, intimate moment for two lovers who’d try to be friends. All the many years Stretch wanted reassurance that Cash loved him. He knew it now. He saw it in the softness of Cash’s eyes, the pliability of his mouth, the ceding of control, if only for a moment.