Misbehaving(50)

Standing in my room, I stared at it. Why was he calling? I didn’t think about it too hard. I just answered.

“Hello,” I said, wondering if he had accidentally called me. Maybe he had meant to call a Jessica or a Jocyln.

“Hey, can you talk?” His deep voice came over the line and my insides went all warm, despite my better judgment.

“Uh, I . . .” Could I talk? Could my heart handle it? “Yeah, sure.”

He let out a relieved-sounding sigh. “Good.” There was a smile in his voice. I could visualize the way his lips curled up in amusement. “I’m sorry about last weekend. I shouldn’t have put you on the spot like that. I just . . . I hadn’t been prepared to see you again.”

I wanted to laugh at that. He hadn’t been prepared to see me? Ha. Did he have any idea how he had affected me? “You surprised me,” I replied.

“You surprised me, too.”

“How did I surprise you? Surely you knew I would more than likely be there.”

I sat down on the edge of the bed, trying to calm my shaking hands. Talking to him like this was making me nervous. It was silly and ridiculous and I should have ended this call, but I didn’t.

“I wasn’t expecting . . . him.”

Oh. So he’d thought I was sitting here pining for him. Even if it was for selfish reasons and it made me a terrible person, I was thankful for Krit at the moment. If Jason had expected me to still be alone, I was glad he saw I was desirable to some people. “Why?” I asked, needing to hear him explain it.

“I don’t know.” He let out a hard laugh. “I’m a dick.”

That still didn’t answer my question. “Krit is different. I never imagined anything serious with him when it started, but his feelings ran deeper than I thought possible. So, yeah, he surprised me.”

Jason didn’t respond right away. I wanted to ask him what he was thinking. I wanted to see his face and smell his clean scent, so different from Krit’s.

“How’s school?” he asked finally.

“Uh, good. I guess,” I replied, confused by his change of topic.

“You guess? Sure it doesn’t suck? Mine sucks.”

No, mine didn’t suck. It was the last semester I could go to junior college. Which meant it was the last of my college education. I would be getting my associate’s degree in December.

“Why does yours suck?” I asked, my nerves finally easing as I lay back on my bed and relaxed.

“I’m doing what my parents want me to do. Not what I want to do.”

“What do you want to do?”

“I want to have time to decide. I’m . . . I’m thinking of taking next semester off. They don’t know it yet, but I want to be free to travel. Find myself. Figure it all out. I tried that this summer . . .” He stopped.

“But I messed that up,” I finished for him. He hadn’t come back to Sea Breeze after our trip to New York.

“No. I messed that up. None of that was you, Jess.” His voice had gone gentle, as if he wanted to reassure me. The smile on my face was ridiculous, but it was there.

“I didn’t expect you to answer,” he said.

“Why?”

“It’s a Friday night. I figured you’d be out.”

“No. I’m staying in tonight. I have work to do,” I told him. I didn’t want to tell him I had been hiding out since I had seen him last Friday. That wasn’t something he needed to know.

“Work as in school?” he asked.

“No, I’m working for a seamstress in town now. I have some work I brought home.”

“You sew?” he asked. I had surprised him. It was in his voice.

“Yes. I also design clothes. I’m working on Christmas recital costumes now for the local dance studio.”

He made a choking sound, like he had been drinking something. “You design stuff?” he asked after he’d caught his breath.

“Yep. The red dress I wore in New York—that was one I designed and made.”

“Holy shit, really? That’s amazing. That dress was . . .” He trailed off.

“It wasn’t a designer label and I know I didn’t fit in, but it’s my favorite piece,” I told him. He didn’t have to feel awkward.

“No, you looked beautiful in it. There wasn’t another girl there who even compared.”

I didn’t know how to respond to that. He had also sent me home without an argument that night.

“I need to go,” he said. “Jax is sending a car to get me. I’m eating with him and Sadie tonight while they’re in town. But can I call you again?”

Could he call me again? No. “Yes,” I replied.