“Jess doesn’t have a type, does she?” Hensley said from beside me.
I searched for her and found her just as she reached a table where Rock, Dewayne, Preston, and Amanda sat. I could ignore them, but one of them was bound to see me. Did that matter? Would Jess even want me to come over there? Maybe she would want me to ignore her.
As if she could sense my stare, she lifted her eyes and her gaze locked with mine. Her body went completely still. She didn’t smile like everything was forgotten. She didn’t move like it was no big deal. Instead she stayed completely frozen as she stared at me. She even blinked rapidly, as if she was in some sort of daze she was trying to snap out of.
Fuck. I was screwed.
“She sees you, dude. Might as well go say hello,” Hensley said, stating the obvious.
I forced my legs to move and started making my way over to her. She seemed to snap out of her trance, and she looked away from me. I could see her mouth move even though she wasn’t looking at anyone exclusively. Apparently, it had been the entire table, because all their gazes turned to zero in on me.
Rock started to stand up and Jess grabbed his arm and said something to him. Then she moved around the table and made her way toward me. She didn’t want me near her friends, so I stopped.
“She’s coming to us,” Finn said, leaning against the bar.
“Me, she’s coming to me,” I corrected him. “Stay here,” I said before walking toward her. I didn’t want those two listening to us.
She stopped a few feet away from me. I didn’t want her that far away. All those emotions she had evoked in me and scared me with roared to life. I had missed her. I knew I had missed her, but seeing her made it all the more real. “Hey,” I said.
She gave me a small smile. “Hey.” Then she glanced up at the stage. The band had started playing, but I wasn’t paying attention to them. She’d been all I could focus on.
“How are you?” I asked, wanting to hear her voice.
“Good, and you?”
I could lie and say good. It would be easier if I did lie. For both of us. “Miss you,” I said instead.
She tensed and her gaze shifted to the stage again. Did she love him? Fuck, just thinking that hurt like hell.
“I saw you with him,” I told her.
She moved her gaze back to mine. “Oh” was all she said.
“You look happy.” I was reaching. It was wrong and I should let this go, but I couldn’t.
She started to say something, then closed her mouth and shook her head. “No. I’m not going to do this with you. I’m not ready yet. I thought maybe I was, but I’m not,” she said, then turned to walk away. That was the reaction I wanted. Something to tell me she still gave a shit.
“Wait,” I said, reaching for her arm.
She stopped and looked down at my hand wrapped around her arm, then back at me. “What do you want from me?” she asked, looking defeated. I hated that. I didn’t want to hurt her. I didn’t want to make her sad. I just wanted her.
“Can we go outside and talk?” I asked.
She looked back at the stage and I followed her gaze. The guy was singing, but his entire focus was on Jess. “I think he loves me. He hasn’t said it, but he treats me like no one ever has. He acts like he can’t live without me, and he never makes me feel unworthy or not good enough.” She looked back at me. “I’m enough for him. Don’t mess it up for me. Because I’d hurt him for you. And in the end you’d hurt me.”
She pulled her arm free and walked away. I let her go this time. I stood there as she walked past her friends at the table and to the stage. Then she opened the back door and disappeared. Krit left the band to finish without him as he hurried off the stage.
He was willing to put her first. I never had been. He made her feel special, and I hadn’t. He wore eyeliner and had more piercings than one human should, but he knew what he had and he wasn’t willing to lose her.
Problem was, she had said she would hurt him for me. It was me she wanted.
How the hell was I supposed to walk away from that?
Chapter Sixteen
JESS
The stage door had barely closed behind me when Krit came stalking backstage. His eyes searched my face, and I felt like crumpling to the floor. He was worried about me. Jason was out there and I had all but told him I still wanted him, and Krit was worried about me.
“What the hell did he want?” Krit asked, looking ready to strike.
“He’s here with friends. He just wanted to say hello. I don’t think he expected to see me,” I told him.
“Does he know you’re with me?” Krit asked, taking another step toward me like he was scared I would burn him if he got too close.