As soon as Honor had arrived back in New York, Violet had wanted gossip. She had cornered Honor in the kitchen and made her swear to a lunch date to hear all the Gabriel Woolf news.
Honor hadn’t been able to think of a decent excuse to get out of it and had decided that perhaps sharing a bit of it wouldn’t be so bad. Maybe it would even normalize the whole experience, put it into perspective. A girly chat and a giggle would make it seem not quite so … intense. So she’d joined Violet for lunch at a deli they both liked not far from Honor’s office.
“Not much to tell really,” Honor said calmly, sipping on the latte she’d ordered.
“Bull. Shit.” Violet leaned farther forward. “You didn’t come back early because nothing happened.” She frowned, brushing back a dreadlock threatening to trail into the sugar bowl. “Or is that why you came back early?”
“No, not exactly.”
Violet abruptly straightened. “You slept with him, didn’t you? I can tell. You’ve got that ‘I’ve just been fucked by an amazing man’ look about you.”
Much to her irritation, Honor felt her cheeks heat. “Yes, okay. We did sleep together.”
“Ha! I knew it.” Violet looked triumphant. “It blew your socks off, huh?”
“It was … pretty good, yes.”
“Riiiight.” The other woman picked up the ginger tea she’d been sipping, silver bracelets chiming as they slid down her wrist. “And do I get details?”
“No, you do not.”
“Spoilsport. Will I get to meet him? And, more importantly, am I going to need to buy earplugs?”
Honor put down her cup. “No and no,” she said firmly. “First of all, you’re only crashing on my couch for a limited time and secondly, Gabriel and I were a one-night thing.”
“Aww. Really?”
“The only thing we have in common is chemistry, and that’s not a good basis for a relationship.”
Violet’s blue eyes went wide. “Jesus. A relationship? Who said anything about a relationship? If the sex is hot what more excuse do you need?”
“It’s not that simple.”
“It isn’t? What’s simpler than meaningless sex?”
Honor looked down at her cup, a tight feeling beginning to form in the center of her chest. “That’s just the thing. I don’t think I can do meaningless sex. I never have.”
Violet frowned. “Hey, are you upset about it?”
No, of course she wasn’t. She and Gabriel hadn’t forged any bonds. They’d been strangers when they met and they were still strangers now. Nothing had changed.
So there shouldn’t be any reason for the tight feeling in her chest whenever she thought of him. Whenever she remembered the cold look in his eyes as he said good-bye. As if he hadn’t held her in his arms. Never called her name, his hands buried in her hair.
It was a crack in her armor she really didn’t need, and if she told herself she didn’t feel it enough times, maybe she wouldn’t.
“No,” she said, trying to believe the truth of it. “I’m not upset. I just need more than a physical connection.”
“Yeah, well, I get that. I mean, I don’t really since relationships … eww.” Violet gave a delicate shudder. “But, well, have you considered one with him?”
Cold dark eyes. Game player. Able to turn on the heat and yet switch it off so easily. Impossible to read. Who demanded control and her surrender.
No, she couldn’t have a relationship with a man like that, no matter how exciting he was. No matter how much she’d liked his brand of brutal honesty, or the way he challenged her. In fact all of those reasons were exactly why she couldn’t go there with him.
Gabriel Woolf was intense, intoxicating. Addictive. A drug she could get hooked on so very easily. A drug that would, in the end, destroy her.
“Definitely not,” Honor said. “No, the sex was great but that’s it.”
“You don’t sound convinced.”
“I am, honestly.”
“Hmm. So what about Alex then? Did you get anywhere with that?”
Honor took a silent breath. Did she really want to tell Vi what Gabriel had revealed? Then again, she couldn’t talk to her mother and she had to talk to someone. It was too big a secret to bear all by herself. “Yes, I heard about Alex.”
“Oh, something tells me this isn’t good.” Violet put her cup down. “What is it?”
“Our father … was involved in underground gambling in New York. Apparently he used to take Alex along with him to count cards.” Honor finally looked up and met her friend’s shocked gaze. “Gabriel told me that’s how they met. He was with that motorcycle club and they used to do security for the casino.”
“Oh my God, really?” Violet blinked. “But I thought your dad went to Vegas?”
Honor shook her head. “The casino was right here.” She let out a breath. “I think something … bad must have happened there.”
“But what? And why?”
“I don’t know. But Alex left home really suddenly and without an explanation. We never heard from him again, not even when Daniel died. Which is another thing.” She’d only been eight when her father shot himself. But she still remembered the look on her mother’s face as they’d brought her out of her classroom at school that day. The look of a woman whose life had shattered. “He … well, you know he killed himself. Everyone assumed it was because of the debts, but what if it wasn’t? What if it had something to do with Alex leaving?”
Violet’s forehead creased. “Such as?”
Honor pushed her latte away, suddenly not feeling like coffee. “I don’t know. That’s the problem. I don’t know anything.”
“Gabriel must, though. Didn’t you ask him about it?”
“He mentioned that Alex had something bad happen to him at this casino, but he didn’t know what because Alex wouldn’t tell him.”
“Honor…”
“And that’s the other thing Gabriel told me. Alex has been keeping an eye on Mom and me. Which means all this time, he knew. About our father’s death. About Mom’s depression. He knew and he didn’t lift a damn finger to help. Okay, so something bad happened to him, but what was so bad that he could leave us like that? For nineteen years? He doesn’t care, Vi. So why should I care about him?”
Violet picked up her teaspoon and pointed it at her. “You want to know, Honor. Don’t lie. And even if you don’t, your mom would.”
“Gabriel told me Alex doesn’t want to talk to me, so that’s a moot point. Anyway, I can’t bring him up with Mom. It upsets her too much. God, she still thinks Daniel was in Vegas all those weekends. I can’t imagine what she’d do if she found out the truth.”
“Then perhaps she doesn’t need to know. But even if he doesn’t want to talk to you, I still think you should try getting in touch with him.”
Honor bit her lip. Damn, her friend had a point. Was it only resentment at Alex that was holding her back? Or was it something else? Fear maybe, of what she’d find out?
Her phone, sitting on the table beside her latte, began to vibrate. She looked down and felt everything inside her tighten. Gabriel.
For a second she debated not answering it. Coward. Yeah, that was a little too teenage for her. Mentally bracing herself, she picked up the phone and pushed the answer button.
“Hello, Gabriel.” God, she hoped she didn’t sound as breathless as she feared she did. “This is an unexpected pleasure.”
“I need to talk to you,” he said without preamble, the dark, rough note in his voice reminding her far too much of things she didn’t want to be reminded of.
Across the table from her, Vi’s eyes had gone wide.
“A ‘hello’ back is generally the accepted way to greet people you want something from,” she said, determined to remain calm. “As you probably remember, I don’t respond well to demands.”
“Bullshit you don’t. There were some demands you responded very well to. Or have you forgotten?”
Honor looked down at the table. “Actually, I think you’re the one who doesn’t remember.”
To her surprise there was a silence at the other end of the phone. As if she’d scored a hit. “We can talk about that, too, if you want. But this is urgent. It’s about my investment in Tremain.”
Foreboding gripped her. “What about it? Please don’t tell me you’re pulling out, because—”
“We need to talk, Honor. The sooner the better.”
“We can talk now.”
“I’m not doing this over the phone. Do you have some time this afternoon? I’ll come to your office.”
There was a hard note in his voice, not that lazy tone he used when he was playing with her. Which meant he was serious. Hell, she so did not want to see him, but if this was about his investment then she was going to have to, wasn’t she?
She swallowed. “I have a meeting this afternoon.”
“Change it.”
“I can’t. This particular client is flying in from London and I won’t be able to get hold of them to reschedule. But … I have some time tomorrow. Probably not till later in the day—”