Beth bit back a sigh. She didn’t have a good argument against that, but she was afraid that scheduling a transfusion would be demoralizing for Tony and for his mom. They would both know that all the other steps being taken weren’t working. Transfusions were commonplace enough with kids in Tony’s situation, but none of them were crazy about the process, even if they felt temporarily better in the end.
“Do you disagree?” Peyton Lang asked.
“Not really, but I know how discouraged Tony and his mother will be. I was really hoping that this last medicine and the food Mack’s been bringing by for him would do the trick and get his blood count back up again, at least for the short term.”
“Believe me, so was I,” Peyton said. “We’re running out of options.”
“We can’t give up on him,” Beth said, unable to keep the frantic note out of her voice.
Peyton gave her a sharp look. “We may not win this one. You know that, Beth. It’s time you started accepting the possibility. Maybe you need to pull back a little, let someone else step in as Tony’s attending physician.”
“Absolutely not. Besides, losing Tony is just a possibility,” Beth said fiercely. “And I refuse to accept it until there are no other options. He’s such a brave kid. He doesn’t deserve this.”
Peyton gave her a sad look. “None of them do.”
“No, they don’t, do they?” she said wearily. “Okay, then. Schedule the transfusion for first thing in the morning. I’ll talk to Tony’s mom tonight.”
The hematologist looked as if he wanted to say more, but he finally shrugged and left without another word. Some things just couldn’t be said aloud, even though they both might be thinking them. And no doctor ever wanted to acknowledge that a fight might be nearing an end.
A once-familiar sense of outrage and anger stirred in Beth’s chest. She needed to get back in the lab and look over the latest test results from her current research one more time. The first batch hadn’t held much promise, but this recent round was looking more hopeful. She needed more time, dammit. More time to get it right, so she could help Tony and some of the other kids who were at the end of the line with current treatments.
She was at the door, about to open it, when Mack appeared. He took one look at her and steered her right back inside her office.
“What’s wrong?” he demanded at once. “Sit down. You look like hell.”
“Just what every woman wants to hear,” she muttered, even as she gratefully sank back onto her chair. The longer she could postpone seeing Maria and Tony, the better.
“I’m not here to flatter you.”
“Obviously not. Why are you here?”
“I just saw Tony. He’s not looking so good.”
Beth nodded. If it was apparent even to a layman, then her decision a few minutes ago was the right one. “He needs a transfusion to buy him a little time,” she admitted bleakly.
Mack looked stunned by the blunt assessment. “A little time?” he echoed warily. “What are we talking here, Beth? Days? Weeks?”
“No more than that.”
“What about the bone marrow transplant?”
“He’s not a candidate right now. It would be too risky.”
“You just said he’s only got a few days or weeks. Isn’t it about time to start taking a few risks?”
“There’s protocol,” she began, only to have him cut her off with a curse. She looked into his eyes and saw the same torment she’d been feeling before his arrival. “I’m sorry, Mack.”
“I won’t accept this.”
“We don’t have a choice.”
“I have a choice,” he all but shouted. “We’ll find another doctor, another treatment. That boy is not dying unless we’ve exhausted everything available.”
Beth tried not to feel hurt that Mack didn’t think she knew what was best, that he didn’t think she was up to the task of saving Tony. She understood the kind of powerless rage he was feeling all too well. If she’d thought for a second that another doctor or another course of treatment might improve Tony’s odds, she would have called for the consultation herself.
“Mack, right here at this hospital, we are his best hope,” she said quietly.
“But you’re giving up,” he protested.
“No,” she said vehemently. “Never. I’m just trying to be realistic.”
“Damn being realistic,” he said heatedly, then sighed and gave her an apologetic look. “I’m sorry. I know I shouldn’t take this out on you. I know how hard you’re working on his behalf. I know how much he matters to you.”