His face hardened for the first time since she'd met him. "You think I'm BS-ing you? I may have a lot of flaws, but I do not lie."
"You really expect me to believe you're going to be celibate for the entire marriage? For a whole year?" She wondered how long he really expected that to last? Did he have plans to walk away that she didn't know about?
"Aren't you? What makes you think I have less self-control than you do?"
She opened her mouth-and closed it again. She didn't have an answer to that. And truth be told, as much as she cautioned herself against being gullible, she believed him on this one. Phoebe nudged aside her soup and stabbed the steak.
He swirled his merlot in his glass, watching her. "Celibacy doesn't make for much of a wedding night."
"I don't know about that." Although just the mention filled her mind with what the night could have held. Had he chosen his words with that intent? "Nina is safe for now. That means the world to me."
He finished off his merlot. "What about when Bianca shows up again?"
The bite of steak palled in her mouth. She swallowed thickly. "I only want the best thing for Nina. That would be to have her parents' love and want to take care of her."
"Even if that means giving her up?"
Her fork clattered against her plate. "Are you threatening to take her away?"
His one-sided smile returned with a dry twist. "Hardly. You're a terrific mother. But me? Ask anyone and they'll tell you I'm a crappy candidate for fatherhood."
Curiosity nipped.
"You say you're always honest, so tell me. What do you have against children?"
"Why would you say that?" he asked evasively. "Marianna and Sebastian have never voiced any complaints about me with kids."
"You pick Nina up, you carry her, even play with her, but you're always holding something of yourself back. I know it's early yet, but it seems like you distance yourself from her."
Kyle attacked the rest of his steak. "That's just your imagination."
She reached across the table and touched his wrist, stilling his hand. "I've heard too much about acting from Bianca over the years not to have picked up something. You're good, but you can't fool me."
He stared at her fingers for two crashes of the waves before setting aside his fork. "Little Edward isn't my brother's first child. They had a baby girl before Edward, but lost her before her first birthday."
She gasped. "How awful." Her heart ached for the lovely woman who'd been so kind to her. "I can't imagine how devastated I would be if something happened to Nina."
"Sophie didn't die." But his face still creased with pain. "They'd tried for years to get pregnant, then decided to adopt. Four months after Sophie was placed with them, the birth mother changed her mind. They went through hell."
She'd assumed the extra portraits of children that didn't look like Landises were the grandchildren of Ginger's second husband. Now she realized one of the little-girl images must have been that adopted daughter. So that's why Marianna had noticed she loved Nina as much as any biological mother could. "I'm so sorry for what they went through."
"The birth mother sends them periodic updates and Sophie looks happy."
As she studied his pained expression, she realized it wasn't totally about hurting for his brother. He'd loved the little girl, too, and grieved when she was taken away. She stayed silent so he could just talk.
"My brother and his wife may be happy now, but after all they went through … " He shook his head slowly. "They even divorced at one point. My brother is a steady sort, good marriage material. Me? Not so much, even on a good day."
His line of logic wasn't going where she'd expected. She struggled to follow. "You're afraid of letting your family down?"
"I would do what I have to, but I saw from my sister-in-law, from my mother, too, how much more is needed to make a marriage and family work. I'm not cut out for that."
She almost blurted out her disbelief at his assumption, told him that he was copping out, but held the words back at the last second. He said he didn't lie to people, and maybe strictly that was true. But she suspected he was lying to himself. Men weren't always great at admitting their fears, especially if one fear involved turning his heart over to a child. "You're really content to live your life alone?"
"I have a big family around me, and a satisfying career. I have a good life."
"You seem to be forgetting one thing."
"I'm sure you'll tell me." At least his smile returned. He held her gaze over the candlelight, the flame flickering inside the hurricane globe and casting flecks in his beautiful blue eyes.
She touched his wrist again, lingering, feeling his pulse throb against her thumb. "You can't escape the fact that you're already a father."
His eyes locked on hers. Intense. Inscrutable. Her fingers stroked along his wrist when she'd meant to let him go.
"And you're a wife."
He stood slightly, leaned across the small table and she knew what was coming but couldn't find words to stop him from-
Kissing her.
His mouth fit over hers, more familiar this time, but the tingle showering along her nerves was still surprising in its intensity. She'd hoped her reaction at the courthouse had been an anomaly, some kind of mixed-up reaction to memories from her first marriage, but damn, she fit her mouth against his and wanted. More.
She parted her lips and he growled his approval until she could taste the rich bouquet of his merlot. His hands stayed on the table, her fingers around his wrist. He only touched her with his mouth, his tongue. The spicy soap scent of him stirred around her in the breeze, reminding her of the moment when she'd first met him and his voice stroked her senses as, temptingly, his mouth moved on hers.
She should pull away, prove she was strong and resolute the way she'd planned this afternoon. Phoebe lifted her hands to push against his shoulders.
But he pulled away first.
Her head swam and she couldn't even blame it on the drink, because he had honored her request to stick with one glass. Her only consolation came from watching his chest rise and fall as rapidly as her own. She needed to get her head together. She refused to let him win her over easily as he must have done with women in the past, like Bianca and Lucy.
Phoebe drained half her water goblet while he reclaimed his seat. She had to think. Focus on what was important.
She had to keep her head clear and her wits about her at all times. She hoped this dinner would be over soon so she could start figuring out how to deal with her desire. "Um, when do you report back to your base?"
"I've already finished up all the paperwork." He watched her, his chest still pumping. "It'll be official next week."
"So you're on vacation." And when would that vacation end? She wasn't even sure where his base was. She was married to a stranger, a totally hot stranger who turned her inside out with his kisses. The mere thought rattled her, leaving her feeling disloyal to her ex. "Rest is a good idea after such a long deployment."
"I'm not on vacation." He straightened in his chair, his eyes narrowing. "I've turned in my papers now that I've fulfilled my commitment to the air force. We were going to announce it after the party. But then you showed up with Nina, and we've been distracted since then."
A roar started in her ears, her pulse louder than the waves rushing in with inevitability. "What exactly does this mean?"
"As of today, I'm no longer in the military. I'm taking over a branch of the Landis Foundation." He spread his hands wide. "As of now, I'm totally at your disposal."
An hour later, Phoebe stood in Nina's new nursery, toying with the decorative silk slippers tacked to the wall. Control slipped away as fast as the tears down her cheeks.
What had she gotten herself into?
Swiping the back of her wrist under her eyes, she looked into Nina's crib at the sweet baby she loved so much. Phoebe adjusted the light blanket, smoothed back a dark curl … saw Kyle's one-sided smile as the infant grinned in her sleep.