Didn't react. Didn't speak. Didn't even breathe.
Stone. Marble. Granite.
"I know it's crazy," she said. "I know I sound like a crazy person. It's irrational. It's nonsensical. I know that, I know that . . . but the thing is, it happened."
His eyes were twin flames of fire, burning into her. Unreadable and dark. Blistering her inside. Charring her to ash.
Shame cut through her, sliced her thin. If only she could take it all back. Pretend she'd never uttered a sound. In that moment, she died a thousand deaths.
The ringing of a cell phone jarred them both.
His eyes widened. Still, he did not say a word. Showed no emotion. He might as well have been a sea sponge for all she got out of him.
"You're ringing." Kaia nodded.
"I swear to God," he muttered, his voice low and buzzy as a rattlesnake's tail. He pulled the cell from his pocket. "I'm going to throw this damn thing away."
At the shift of topics, Kaia felt as disoriented as a first-time surfer clobbered by a big ocean wave, sputtering, coming up for air, grasping for her bearings. She gulped. Smiled.
"Promises, promises," she quipped, trying to keep things light, deeply grateful for the interruption.
He glanced at the screen, grimaced. "It's Vivi."
At his ex's name, jealousy rose up in her throat. She had nothing to feel possessive over. Yes, she loved him. But Ridge was not hers.
"The surgeon has been by to see Duke," he said. "They've released him."
"That's great news."
"Vivi wants me to fly him home."
"Of course."
He looked as if he were going to say something, but then pressed his lips together, bobbed his head. Got to his feet.
She was both relieved and disappointed. She remained seated, fearful that her legs weren't strong enough to support her weight. She'd laid her heart bare to him and he acted as if nothing had happened. She still had no idea how he felt or where they stood.
"Go on." She made shooing motions.
He hesitated, his gaze meeting hers again, but she took a page from his book, iced up her eyes. Detached. Disengaged. Disconnected.
"Get out of here." Her voice came out like gravel, spiky and rough. "Go now."
Before I fall to my knees and humiliate myself by begging you to stay.
Kaia loved him?
Ridge's heart was a whirligig in a sandstorm.
Blistered. Battered. Beat up.
He stood perched in the doorway, gazing back at her on the sofa, warring with his desire to stay and the hot fear telegraphing panicked messages through his nerve endings.
Her declaration left him shocked, stunned, blown away.
Not just because her story was far-fetched, unbelievable, loony flipping tunes . . . but because he ached to believe it was possible.
In truth, he felt it too. Love for her as big and bright as the sun. So bright that if he stared at her for too long he'd go blind.
And that's what scared him.
The intensity. The overwhelm. The loss of control. The terror that if he dared to let himself fully love her, and then he somehow lost her, it would be the end of him.
No one had ever told Ridge they loved him before.
Oh, he supposed his mother had, but he couldn't really remember. Duke wasn't prone to words of endearment, and none of Duke's wives had said it. Sabrina and Lucy had had kids of their own, and well, Vivi . . .
As for the women he'd dated, Ridge had always gotten out of the relationships if he got the slightest inkling that they were falling for him. But usually, he was careful to pick women who wanted to keep things casual.
Until now.
Until Kaia.
He opened his mouth to tell her he loved her too. But he'd never uttered the words out loud before, didn't know how to start.
It hit him then, and he knew why he couldn't wrap his tongue around, I love you. He was too damn broken for Kaia. She deserved so much better. She deserved someone who knew how to love with all his heart and soul. Someone who could and would put her ahead of everything else.
And Ridge just didn't know how to do that. Work was the only thing that had ever saved him. If he didn't have his work, he had no idea who or what he was.
"Go on," she said. "Your family needs you."
Still, he hesitated. Torn in two. Desperate for her, but committed to putting her needs before his own. If he told her he loved her, she would surrender herself to him one hundred percent-heart, mind, body, and soul.
It was a precious gift he had not earned.
She was so loving and generous and he could ruin her so easily.
"Later," he said. "I'll come back."
She nodded, but her face was pale, dark shadows under her eyes. "Later."