The discovery that she'd been trapped in a life she didn't even know was a prison shocked her.
Subconsciously, she'd been longing for something, lacking something, even though she couldn't quite put her finger on what it was. She'd been following her dreams, going to school, working with animals, enjoying life with her family and friends, but in the back of her mind there had been this nagging feeling that she was incomplete.
She'd had no idea of this power within her. An all-encompassing, electric indigo power that making love to Ridge unleashed.
It was dizzying, overwhelming, disconcerting. Her head and her heart were in the clouds. Flying in sweet paradise.
Would the emotions disappear once she came back to earth and got grounded in reality? Would this heavenly glimpse of her true self disappear in the day-to-day grind? Could she hang on to it long after he was gone?
Because he was going. Tomorrow. Flying off to Calgary and then to China. Six months gone.
Alarmed, she opened her eyes to see Ridge staring down into her face, eyes wide-open. He looked as gobsmacked as she felt.
She inhaled sharply. And he did too. Breathing the same air. Holding the same breath.
She wanted to simultaneously shout her experience from the rooftops, and to keep quietly sacred this delicious happening that was blowing to pieces everything she'd ever believed to be true about sex and love and her role in the world.
The ache inside her was deep and sorrowful. Knowing she was losing him just as she was finding him. She blinked away tears pushing at the back of her eyelids.
What twin emotions! Flip side of the same coin. With great love came great pain. You could not have one without the other. If you loved, eventually you would be hurt.
But oh! It was so worth the cost.
Even if he never loved her back.
Soft starlight oozed through the parted curtains of Kaia's bedroom window, spilling a gentle glow across Ridge's bare back. He was lying on his side, uncovered, one leg drawn up, the other leg outstretched, sleeping like a flamingo.
She smiled. Such fun to discover the little things she never knew about him. Fun to watch him sleeping as she listened to the Song of the Soul Mate humming in her brain. A steady strum of he's your one and only.
Oh, she was so screwed!
A girl who believed love was the only thing that made you whole was falling for a man who believed that love was the very thing that broke you.
"Hey," he murmured, his eyes fluttering open. "How are you?"
A smile claimed her mouth. "Amazing. How about you?"
Hair sexily tousled, he sat up, stretched his arms overhead, yawned. "What time is it?"
"Just after midnight."
"I should go."
"Did you forget the challenge?" She nodded at the box of condoms on the nightstand.
He grinned. "I did not." He leaned over to kiss her forehead. "But I was planning on leaving at three a.m. to get to Calgary by the time my office opens at eight."
"I see." Disappointment was a rock in the bottom of her stomach.
"I should have told you my plans," he said, swinging his legs over the side of the bed.
"It's already so late. Maybe you should just stay and get a few more hours' sleep before you have to go back to the ranch."
"I'm used to running on just minimal sleep. I'll be fine."
That was not what she meant. She wanted more time with him, but she didn't want to cling.
He leaned down to kiss the top of her head. It was such a sweet gesture her heart stuttered.
Lucky. She was so lucky to have had him for this precious time. That's the only way she could spin it so that she didn't completely break apart. Lucky, lucky, lucky.
"Go back to sleep," he said, pulling on his swim trunks.
It seemed a million years since they'd been swimming in Balmorhea, and yet at the same time, the flicker of an eye.
"One last kiss?" she breathed.
His grin was fast and loose like a tropical sunrise. He sank to his knees on the mattress, drew her into his arms for a parting kiss.
Ah. Bliss.
Humming so heavenly she wished she could submerse herself in it, in him for the rest of her life.
Ridge didn't want to leave.
He peered at Kaia, who was gazing up at him as if he were the sun and the moon and the stars.
His chest clutched like a manual transmission stuck in second gear, rumbling and grinding on a steep downhill incline. It was all he could do not to crawl back into bed, pull her into his arms and make love to her all over again.
He was hooked. Addicted. Obsessed.
But the only way to break an addiction was cold turkey. He had to go. He had work to do, and he wasn't going to get in the way of her finishing her degree. Plus, he didn't belong in Cupid. Never had.