"I survived."
Yes, she had. Brave woman. "I'm sorry as hell you had to go through that."
"I just wish he could have gotten the help he needed." There were tears in her eyes. "I wish I'd seen the signs before things got as bad as they did."
"You're a much better person than I am," he said. "I can't grieve for him. Not after what he did to you."
She raised her head, met his gaze. "He was a boy once. He had a father who loved him. He had family and friends who suffered as much as I did. I can't forget that. And I can't help thinking I could have done more to help him."
"His mental health wasn't your responsibility."
"Whose responsibility was it?" she asked, searching his face as if she genuinely wanted an answer.
"Not yours."
"That's easy enough to say, but it doesn't stop me from feeling like I should have done something. But then again, another part of me is relieved I don't have to constantly look over my shoulder, waiting for him to pop up. I'm not proud of those feelings, but there they are."
"Aww." He shook his head. "You poor kid."
"No! Don't you dare feel sorry for me!" she barked, and shook a finger in his face. "Don't you dare!"
Whoa! Her quick about-face brought him up short. He held up a palm, lifted apologetic eyes.
"He used to say that to me all the time. I'm not a poor anything. I'm lucky and blessed and loved. Yes, I've had struggles and challenges, but it's made me stronger, not weaker."
Ridge slapped a hand over his mouth. Dammit! No wonder she'd reacted the way she had when he'd kissed her scar.
"The last thing I want is anyone's pity."
"I get that," he said.
She squeezed his hand.
He squeezed back.
"I was stupid," she whispered. "So trusting. I grew up in a place where most people have your best interest at heart. I'd never brushed up against someone like him before."
Tears tracked down her cheeks. It struck him like a blow-her shame. She blamed herself for the way that crazy bastard had treated her.
"But I forgave him because I needed to do it for me. I realize now he had mental issues and I wasn't adept at reading the signs."
"Kaia," he said gently. "Look at me."
Reluctantly, she raised her head, but skimmed over his eyes, fixing instead on his brow.
He reached out, cupped her chin in his palm.
She tensed but didn't draw away.
"Kaia"-he repeated her name, drilling down, and tapping in-"look at me."
Finally, she met his eyes and he felt the jolt of their connection. It was strong. Unmistakable. The instant they peered into each other, the magnetic pull yanked their gazes together, until he was unsure if he could look away, should he want to.
"You're being too hard on yourself."
"No." She hitched in a breath. "I'm not being hard enough."
He rubbed the flat of his thumb against her knuckles. Felt her shiver. "Beating yourself up for someone else's bad behavior solves nothing."
Her laugh was a bark, short and bitter. "I was such a poor judge of character. That was my fault."
"You are a trusting soul, and you shouldn't have to apologize for being who you are."
"Who I am landed me in a world of hurt."
"Sweetheart, please. Ease up on yourself."
She cocked her head and studied him for a long breath. "You could take your own advice and get a couple hundred miles farther on down the road of life."
"What does that mean?"
"You're pretty hard on yourself, Ridge Lockhart. You're not responsible for either your mother's or your father's behavior."
"Touché," he agreed. "But right now, we're talking about you. You are a strong, competent, capable woman with a huge heart, but you can't save the entire world. And you have to take care of yourself before you can take care of anyone else."
"I'm starting to figure that out."
"You have family and friends. You don't have to carry this burden on your own. We're here just waiting to help you. All you have to do is ask." He touched her jaw, tilted her chin up. "Are you hearing me?"
She squirmed away from him. "Your turn."
"What?"
"You promised me, remember? My dark secret for yours."
He had made that promise. Wished he hadn't. Cast his mind around for another story he could substitute for it.
Luck was with him. The light in the chapel came on and Ember and Ranger walked in looking for Ember's lost purse.