Million Dollar Cowboy (Cupid, Texas #5)(100)

The breeze gusted. Kaia shivered in the darkness, crossed her arms over her chest. "You should go."

"If it wasn't a billion-dollar deal on the line-"

"It would be something else."

"What does that mean?" His voice turned flinty, flat.

"It's okay. I'm not judging you."

"What do you mean?"

She searched his face, trying to decipher what he was feeling. But he was so good at erecting barriers, hiding his emotions. His eyes were hooded, guarded. Cautious.

"You hide behind your work and achievements. It's your shield."

He blinked at her as if she were speaking a foreign language. "Huh?"

"You use success as a substitute for love and acceptance. It's understandable, considering where you came from. But the deal is, you don't even realize that's what you're doing. You think being a workaholic is a virtue, not an impediment to what you really want."

"And what do I want?" His sarcasm was a knife blade, cutting and cold.

"The same as anyone else." She offered him the kindest smile she could muster. "Love. Belonging. You just don't know how to open your heart and let it come to you."

"Got me all figured out, huh?" His eyes empty. Dead.

"You've got this one way of being in the world that has served you well so far. But now it's stopped working," she went on. She might as well tell him what she thought. She had nothing left to lose. He was already lost to her unless something shifted.

A grimace pulled his mouth down, but he said nothing.

"I love you, Ridge. I love you with all my heart and soul. That will never ever change." She paused. Giving him a chance to say he loved her too. Holding on to the seconds. Ten. Twenty. Thirty.

He did not speak.

All right. He wasn't ready.



       
         
       
        

She inhaled deeply. "But I can't put my life on hold for you, waiting for you to decide you love me back. And even if you could tell me you loved me, I can't be with you. Not until you get over this anger you have toward your father. Did he treat you badly? Hell yes. No doubt. No one will argue that point with you."

His eyes were a laser, searing her hot and long, but still he said nothing.

"But you have to forgive him if you want to move on with your life. You have to drop the baggage you've been carrying. The baggage you've used to push you hard and fast. You've built your entire identity on showing him up."

Ridge pressed his lips together so tightly they disappeared.

"News flash, you achieved your goal. You have bested him. You've made more money. You've made a bigger mark in the world. You've reached the pinnacle of success. You're on Mount Everest. There are no more peaks left to conquer."

He was breathing hard and fast, his chest puffing up like a fire-breathing dragon.

She lowered her voice to a whisper. "It's time to let all that go. It's time to find out who you are without Duke influencing your every move."

God, he was so stoic. Ridge. How apt his name.

Unbending. Inflexible. Stony.

"If you really want to be with me, you'll stay here." She moistened her lips. "You'll let your employees do their jobs in China. You'll forgive Duke and Vivi. You'll forgive yourself. And in the process, you'll find out who you really are. And once you find yourself, we can start to build something. If that is what you want. Until then . . ." She shrugged. It took everything she had inside of her not to show him how much this was killing her.

"You done?" he asked, tight-lipped and blank faced.

"Yes."

"You're wrong."

"If I'm wrong, then stay and prove it to me."

"I have to go."

"I know."

"I wish it could be different. I'm sorry."

"Me too," she said, her heart shattering into a bazillion little pieces. "But you've got nothing to apologize for. You are who you are. This is your way. What was it you said to me about Dart? Once a runner, always a runner?"

He cringed as if she'd hauled off and slapped him across the face as hard as she could. He flinched.

Then turned and walked away.

Leaving Kaia utterly broken.





Chapter 29




Once a runner, always a runner.

The words she'd thrown back in his face slammed into Ridge like high-octane pepper spray, burning his eyes, convulsing his throat, stunning his reason with the knowledge that she'd written him off. 

Written them off.

At the ranch, the lights in the mansion were still on. Ranger and Vivi should have gotten back by now. He wished he could just jump in the Evektor and take off but he had to collect his things.