“How should I know?” I asked. My voice trembled. I didn’t want it to. I wanted to sound calm and controlled. But sometimes I just can’t hold in my anger.
“He won’t talk to me,” I said. “He can’t deal with me, I guess.”
Jamie put a hand on my shoulder. “Just because he sent you to live here . . . ”
“He didn’t want me!” I cried. “He didn’t want me to live with him. My mom dies. So he sends me off to a cousin I haven’t seen in seven years. How should that make me feel? You tell me, Jamie. How should I feel about that?”
I was talking through gritted teeth. I looked down and saw my hands coiled into tight, red fists.
Jamie took a step back. Her face went even paler. I could see she was surprised. She studied me for a long moment.
“Dana, you’re scaring me,” she said. “I’m serious. You look so angry, like you could kill someone.”
Kill someone?
No way. What a strange thing to say.
Did I really look like that?
Kill someone?
Me?
7
It was an excellent party. Jamie had the music cranked up. And the dining room table was loaded down with pepperoni and onion pizzas and long submarine sandwiches.
No beer. Jamie’s parents were home. But everyone seemed to be having a good time, anyway.
Danny, Jamie’s seven-year-old brother, printed out a banner on his computer: WELCOME, DANA—each letter in a different color. It was strung up over the piano.
Danny is a cool little guy. He has short, blond hair and bright, blue eyes, and a killer smile, even with two front teeth missing. Tonight, he had a fake tattoo of a dragon on one cheek.
Everyone was making a fuss over him. One of Jamie’s friends was trying to teach him how to dance. But he kept stomping down on her feet. He thought that was a riot. Each time he did it, he giggled like a fiend.
The first two guys I bumped into at Jamie’s party were Nate and Shark. I’d met them a few nights before at the bar everyone goes to late at night.
Shark told me his real name is Bart Sharkman but everyone calls him Shark. He is a big, athletic-looking guy, kinda intense, nervous. He kept gazing around a lot. I think it was hard for him to stand still for very long.
He is cute. I like his spiky hair. I wondered if maybe I could get the shark to bite. But then this streaky-blond girl named Nikki came over to us and wrapped her arm through Shark’s.
Nikki seemed okay. She had a funny sense of humor and a hoarse, smoky voice that I liked.
Nate was kinda cute too. Sort of a cuddly teddy bear type. I knew right away why I could be into him. He reminded me of Dustin, my old boyfriend. No joke. He reminded me of Dustin big-time. So in a way, I kinda felt I already knew Nate.
He had a great laugh. I was teasing him about something and we were having a nice talk. And I guess I had my hand on his shoulder—you know, just being friendly—when this skinny, red-haired girl practically bumps me out of the way.
Jamie hurried over and introduced us. She said the girl’s name was Ada Something. I didn’t catch the last name. I’d met Ada at the bar the other night, but we didn’t get to talk.
Sometimes you get a flash about someone. I mean, I don’t really believe in first impressions. But tonight I could see that I probably wasn’t going to like this girl Ada.
Just a hunch.
I went to get a Coke from the cooler, and when I turned around, Ada was all over Nate. I mean, I’m not against Public Displays of Affection, but I think she was making a point here, staking out territory, if you know what I mean.
I was just talking to the guy, after all.
I guess maybe I was too intense, standing there staring at them. Because another girl came over and pulled me aside. She was tall and very pretty in a cold sort of way. She had perfect, creamy skin and long, billowy blond hair.
She said her name was Whitney. And she held on to my arm and started talking about Ada and Nate, in a loud whisper. “Ada had a crush on Nate for years,” she told me. “But he always looked through her like Saran Wrap or something.”
Saran Wrap? Excuse me?
“Anyway, after Candy Shutt died, Nate was totally messed up,” Whitney continued. “I’m not sure why. I mean, he didn’t even like Candy. I guess it was the idea of someone we knew, someone in our class dying like that.
“Anyway, Ada tried hard to get him to snap out of it. And they finally started going out.”
“And now it’s a serious thing?” I said, watching the two of them lip-locked on the couch.
Whitney nodded. Her hair fell over her face, and she brushed it away. “Yeah. Ada is really intense about Nate.” She raised her eyes to mine. “I just thought I should warn you. You know.”