“They are all adopted, I swear. No way am I blood related to that pack of pansies.”
That earns me a playful slap before she shoves the sheet away and rises to her feet, making my dick go hard immediately. Damn tease.
“You look just like your big brother, Jeremiah Lane, and you love him for his weird and wonderful foibles, so don’t try to deny it. Now come on and get dressed before he comes tearing back in here.”
I follow her into the closet and cop a feel or two as we throw on clothes and run a brush through our hair.
Wyatt’s pacing like a madman when we get downstairs and keeps yelling at Ellie to stop trying to calm him down when he knows she’s in pain. Poor fool looks about ready to pass out, he’s so pale, and poor Ellie seems more harried by his behavior than she is at the thought of pushing that monster baby out of her body.
“Miah, would you please tell your brother to calm down before I lose my temper and bean him,” she says through gritted teeth.
I go to do just that when she doubles over and clutches at her stomach, moaning long and low.
“See! I told you. Ma! Hurry the hell up! I need to get my wife to the hospital!”
Jace and Jared come running down the stairs, shaking their heads at the madman currently pacing and cursing like a trucker while Ellie breathes through her contractions like a real trooper.
“You’re acting like an idiot. Come on over here and hold your wife’s hand instead of pacing like a caged beast. Clari, I’ll stay here with Josh since I don’t trust anyone else on the security alone with my bro. Ma! Get on down here already before Bruce Banner loses the fight against his dumber side!” Jared says.
Ma comes running down the stairs with Pop hot on her heels and almost squeals with joy when she spots Ellie having a contraction.
“Calm down, Grandma. I don’t think your son would appreciate your enthusiasm right now. He’s acting nuts,” I warn her, keeping an eye on Wyatt and a scowling Ellie.
By the time I’ve got everyone in the cars and we’re on our way to the hospital with Wyatt bounding around like he’s on something, I’m not too convinced this baby thing is worth it. Ellie’s been making a hell of a lot of noise back there, and every time I look over at Clari she’s grimacing from the tight grip Ellie has on her little hand.
We get to the hospital not too long after, since Mr. Nuts beside me has planned the route so much that he is able to direct me through the shortcuts.
“Woman in labor!”
“Oh, Wyatt, for the love of God! Calm down already!” Ellie yells, losing her patience for the umpteenth time since we left the house.
My brother completely ignores her and continues to pull his town crier act like a pro till the nurses come running out with a wheelchair and the doctor on their heels.
“Mr. Lane, everything is just fine. Why don’t you take a deep breath and—”
“I’ll shove my foot up your ass if you tell me to calm down, Doc. My wife is in pain and I want her to be comfortable—right now.”
We’re all grateful when the doctor takes him and Ellie into the delivery room while we take up seats in the waiting room. The man has gone and lost his damn mind, and if this is what a man has to look forward to, I’m really glad me and Clari don’t want kids.
No way would I ever put her through this shit if I could avoid it. If later down the road she changes her mind, we’re adopting, and that’s that.
“Phew! I haven’t seen a body go that crazy since I was in labor with Wyatt and your father went nuts.” Ma chuckles, fanning her brow at the heat of the early morning air.
“Oh hush, Judy. You were bawling enough to raise the dead when you went into labor. What did you expect me to do?” Pop gripes, huffing loudly.
“You punched the only doctor on staff at the time, George. If the nurses hadn’t managed to revive him, I’d hate to think about how I’d have gotten your eldest son into the world in one piece.”
Clari sputters out a laugh and looks at me, shaking her head emphatically.
“Why did you punch the doctor, Pop?”
“He said your mother’s vagina looked good, and I took exception to it, boy.”
Ma starts spluttering before rolling her eyes and pursing her lips in disgust.
“He said it looked good, as in I was dilated fully and the baby was ready to come. Jesus, George, at least be honest when you tell that horrid story.”
I laugh so hard that I have to sit down. I take a seat beside my girl and pull her onto my lap, settling in for a long night and a lot more craziness from my family.
Clari soon falls asleep and I just enjoy the quiet for once, reveling in the excitement that a new little Lane’s about to join our merry band of misfits and make our family that much happier.