I can’t have this shit still clouding the air now that we have a kid to look after and another one on the way with Ellie about to pop. And I know just what to do to ensure that I’m here for them and not lying dead.
It looks like my military days are officially over, but the thought doesn’t bother me.
“Me Josh.”
The tyke is grinning from ear to ear every time he says it, which is like every five minutes on the minute, and I groan at the thought of the flight home.
Since he seems so taken with Jared, maybe I can take my Clari to the little bedroom at the back and play hooky for at least an hour before Ma starts calling incessantly.
***
“You can’t quit in the middle of an operation, Lane.”
Jared rolls his eyes at me across the table and outright laughs at the colonel when the old fart starts blustering and throwing threats my way.
“It’s done and done, old man, so you can stop trying to threaten me with some bullshit or whatever it is you think you can do. I just told you I have a woman and kid who I can’t involve in this shit, and that, as they say, is that.”
I really don’t want to do this stuff anymore if it means being deployed at the drop of a hat and having to leave my girl.
The decision wasn’t all that hard to make. What I’ll do after this is anyone’s guess, but I’ve been mulling over the idea of staying on the force once this corruption business is settled.
“Goddammit, Lane, who the hell am I supposed to trust with this? You’re already in with your flimsy IA cover and that cousin of yours is practically a member of their little band.”
“Not my problem anymore, dude, and you know it. Keep threatening me and I’ll let my pop call the vice president. They’re golfing buddies, you know, and Pop contributes to their campaigns, so…”
I leave the statement trailing and roll my eyes at Jared who seems to be enjoying the colonel’s obvious distress. Leave it to Jared to tag along when he shouldn’t even be privy to the mission.
That’s my brother for you. He enjoys rocking the boat and watching the idiots inside struggle to stay dry. To top it off, I had to sneak out of the house at four to lose Roman, who seems to think that being a cop gives him military privilege or something.
“Fine. At least give me access to Roman, you little shit,” the man says, throwing me a seething glare.
I’ve known the guy since I joined the navy after dropping out of college. My parents still don’t know that the only reason I earned that degree in business communication was because this man gave me special consideration and pulled a few strings while still keeping me in the field.
Hardest two years of my life juggling all that work, but I made it. Hey, maybe I could go into business with Wyatt…but nah, I’d never survive a suit and tie five days a week and we all know it.
“You can have Roman if he agrees, and only under the condition that you take care of my brother,” I warn.
Roman would love this, but I would never sacrifice him just to make my life easier, and definitely not to take down a few corrupt cops and kill a militia.
If the colonel wants this so bad, he’ll play by my rules, and to hell with what he wants.
“Deal. Now get the hell out of here and tell your gorgeous mother I said hello.”
“You want George to kill you, old man?”
“Some things are worth dying for, son, and don’t you forget that. Now skedaddle, I have an op to plan.”
Jared follows at a slow pace and sits silently all the way home before turning to me with a questioning look.
“You’re sure you’re okay with this? You loved being a SEAL.”
“Bro, I’m more than okay. Clari needs me to keep things together, and that kid is not going to be easy to get to know if he doesn’t trust me because I’m never home.”
“That’s just it, Miah. You always said you would never leave the SEALs, and you don’t want kids, and now what? You’re willing to give it all up for them?” he argues, watching me closely as we pull into the garage and I cut the engine.
“I’d give everything up to keep her, bro. I love Clari, and with the right effort, I’ll get Josh onboard, too. What, you don’t want Clari and Josh—”
“Don’t be an, asshole. I love them both and you know it. I’m just worried that you’ll look back and regret this is all. What will you do now?”
I understand his doubt, hell I’ve been struggling to figure it all out myself before I decided to just let it go and go with the flow. This just seems so right that I can’t bring myself to doubt it.
“I might stay on the force with Roman, or maybe open a business. I don’t know yet. What I do know is that if those assholes find out who I really am, my family will suffer for it and I won’t have that,” I tell him, exiting the car with a huff.