Miah-1(Lane Brothers, Book 2)(2)

I learned pretty quickly that Nick does not appreciate being told no, something I hadn’t done the whole time we were together since we generally agreed on everything.

Things got worse from there, much worse than just being unhappy in our relationship, and I’m pretty sure that if I’d stayed in Philly and not run like hell, he would have started upping the mental…brainwashing. He had a way of making me think that I made my own choices when he really made every one for me. I was heading down a path that he had paved for me.

I have no desire to be in that position again, to have another man rule my life and tell me when and where and how I should live. But I could use a friend, someone to break up the monotony of the life I now lead—the opposite of what I wanted when I escaped the trailer park and started living my life at eighteen. I had dreamed of a life with Nick, if only so everyone who saw me would see that I was not a white-trash princess who had loose morals and even looser legs.

I think of my mom and the legion of men who walked in and out of her bedroom on a nightly basis. While being that woman has never appealed to me, I just want…happiness and the freedom to do the things I’ve denied myself for so long.

After handing out all of the gifts and participating in another round of guess-the-flavor, it’s almost the end of the shower. I have to admit that, for once, I’m looking forward to getting the heck out of here and going home to my empty little cottage.

“Clari? Are you staying the night?” Ellie asks when the last woman leaves and I’m flitting around, collecting the last scraps of shredded wrapping.

“Don’t be foolish, Ellie dear, of course Clara is staying over. Why, it’s only two hours to an early dinner, and by then it will be too late for her to drive home safely.”

“Erm, uh, no that’s fine, really…I have a few papers that I still have to grade—”

“Oh pooh! What nonsense. Tomorrow is Sunday, Clari dear, you’ll have the whole day to work after I feed you a good breakfast and we get in a good round of shopping.”

Jude just throws that out with a wave of her hand as she’s leaving the room, and I’m left dumbstruck and uncomfortably aware of the fact that I can’t be rude and just leave now, but I’m also not excited about facing another dinner disaster.

“Ellie, I really don’t think—”

“Well good, then it should be easy for me to think for you, and I think you should stay over so we can eat cookies and talk about boys,” she interrupts, giving me that look I recognize from college.

It’s a look that makes me cringe, because it was the very same one she gave me the first time she told me to reevaluate my relationship with Nick. Not that Ellie disliked my ex, she just wasn’t into watching me run around after a man she didn’t think was the right match for me.

“El…”

“Look, Clari,” she says, hoisting herself to her feet with a groan. “We both know why you don’t want to stay, and while I’m not trying to pimp you to Miah, because, let’s face it, the man is not…your type, I will tell you that letting his behavior dictate your actions won’t fly with me.”

“But, Ellie, the man obviously doesn’t want me around, and it’s getting to the point of embarrassment for me. This is his home and I shouldn’t—”

She is across the room so fast that I actually check to make sure there’s a baby under her blouse and not a stuffed pillow.

“He’s attracted to you—”

I snort and earn myself a hard glare before she hooks her arm through mine and starts dragging me towards the door.

“Cut that out, Elms. He is attracted to you. Anyone with eyeballs can see it, and that’s his freaking problem to deal with. You’re staying if only to show him you don’t care,” she insists.

“But I do.”

And I can’t just change my whole personality and thumb my nose at people. I never stay where I’m not wanted. More than that, I do not make life unpleasant for others.

Go home and eat a salad, Clara. Do what you always do and blend, even if it means crawling into the woodwork of your lonely home.

“Clari.”

Taking a deep breath, I extricate myself from Ellie’s arms and step into the hall, turning only when I reach the front door.

“I spent eighteen years of my life being unwanted, and then six being so wanted that I had to move halfway across the country to escape. I just want to be me and not have to think about why someone likes me or not. Okay?”

“Fine. But you’re calling me tomorrow morning and telling me about that ass Nick and whatever it is he had planned for you. I swear, Clari, how you stayed with a guy who didn’t give you one orgasm and asked you to go on a diet is so…you’re spilling the beans tomorrow,” she warns, resting her hands on her back in that way that pregnant women have.