When it was dark outside, and there was still no sign of Layna, he knew it was time to go. The thought of leaving without one last look at her, made his breath hitch, but she’d heard the news by now. If she was staying away, it was because she wanted to.
Ryan stood and fingered the handle of his suitcase, stalling another minute.
Gash, the clan’s security guy, strolled into the lobby, a folder open in one hand, and a frown firmly in place as he stared at the contents. He slapped it shut when he spotted Ryan.
“Thought you were already gone, man.”
Gash was a newer member of the Ouachita clan, and a bit rough around the edges, but Ryan liked him okay. He had a feeling the cat had secrets, but he’d come to the right place if he was hoping nobody would pry. As long as he did his job and treated the others with respect, no one here would go digging.
“I’m on my way out. I was just waiting…” There was no good way to finish that so he didn’t.
Gash nodded slowly. Maybe he caught what Ryan was throwing down, maybe he didn’t. But the great thing about Gash was he kept other people’s secrets too.
“Yeah, alright. I’ll see ya around then.”
“See ya.”
Ryan watched him disappear down the employee wing until jingle bells sounded from the front entrance. They were there every year like clockwork, the giant ones that were the size of a child’s fist and made enough noise to wake zombies. The lobby was the first place to get decorated and the door was the first to get bells. It was the first chance to give guests a dose of Christmas spirit, Magic would say.
Slowly, Ryan turned to find his cat standing in the entryway and his chest locked up, refusing to give him air. She stood still as a statue, her dark eyes flashing brighter green with the nearness of her animal. Her hair was mussed, and a tiny twig stuck out from behind her ear.
She’d definitely been in the woods.
In leggings and an oversized sweater, she gave him one of those warm and fuzzy visions he’d never admit to having. Men like him were supposed to chase tail, not imagine snuggling with a warm female. But he could picture them sitting by a fire, drinking hot cocoa with peppermint schnapps, her curled in his lap while they shared their dreams for the coming year.
Damn it, maybe this was an age thing. Maybe mid-thirties was when male goals turned from fucking to settling down. Whatever the case, he needed to find the thing that would satisfy that urge or he’d go crazy.
“Thought you’d be gone already.” Her voice whipped through him, snapping all his nerves to attention. Like his body was programmed to focus on her anytime she was speaking. He was tuned to her frequency.
“I wouldn’t leave without seeing you.”
“Right.” Her eyes bore into him. “You didn’t even tell me. I found out you were going from your sister.”
He nodded, never taking his gaze from her. Her sharp jaw was clenched tight and her shoulders rigid. She was mad.
If she was angry he was leaving… did that mean she cared?
The tiniest bud of hope unfurled in his chest, and he opened his mouth to ask her. What could it hurt now, if he asked one last time?
But before he could get the words out, she crossed her arms over her chest and said, “You’re putting us all in a bind, you realize that, right? Christmas is coming and there’s a lot of work to do. And you… you’re just leaving. Renner will have to work overtime instead of spending time with Beth and Rhys.”
Ryan let her words batter his chest as they flew. Of course this was why she was angry. Because he was making things harder for the clan. Making a little extra work for everybody. It had nothing to do with the fact that he’d be gone from her life.
He swallowed the words he’d prepared. There was no use for them. None of them. Not the goodbye he’d rehearsed. Not the new ones he’d just found to ask her one last time if she’d have him.
The idea of what he’d almost done left him feeling pathetic, but staring at her in the doorway, he couldn’t care. This was it. This was the last time he’d see her until he’d stuffed his feelings into a box and locked it tight.
His gaze caught on the giant piece of mistletoe that hung over the door. They picked it natural, from the forest where it grew in the tops of the trees, so it was always huge, taking up a large portion of the doorway. An enormous red bow hung in the center of the plant that urged people to kiss their way through the holidays.
Layna followed his gaze upward and then her eyes darted back to him. Her jaw went slack and he didn’t recognize the expression on her face. There was no hint of the bossy, smartmouth he’d fallen for. There was no indignation, no blame, no anger. She was just there, looking lost and confused.