Showing up too early meant I was dead. His men wouldn't hesitate to shoot if I reappeared for any reason after the deal went down. Showing up too late meant she was dead or worse – his guards would only be stunned by the body for a minute before they went for revenge.
I lowered my head. Fiery blood roared, roasting my ears. I clutched the capsule packet like it held million dollar diamonds.
God had to be a gambler. This wasn't the miracle I thought it was before I screwed Cassie to a blissful sleep and did my homework.
This was nothing but a way to roll the dice, but it was the only way I had.
“Poison? Jesus, Evan, are you serious?” She bolted up in the black leather chair in my sitting room, eyes wide and dancing with disbelief.
I explained everything and she listened patiently 'til the very end. Not an easy lecture. The girl had been listening to other assholes give the orders her whole life, and I was one more bulldog barking in her face, even if I did it more nicely than her asshole father and the other shits in the cult.
“I wouldn't have told you if I wasn't. Never been much of a fucking comedian.” I leaned forward in my matching seat, hands clawing at the armrests. “Listen, babe, you don't have to do this. Just asking makes me want to start punching my own damned face. I swore I'd never put you in danger, but now this shit's making me ruin my promise. I'm not telling you to do a damned thing...I'm asking for your help.”
She didn't blink. Slowly, she climbed out of the chair and moved across the floor, stooped over. Her arms went around my neck and she looked at me from the ground. The look she gave me went through my heart like a hot poker.
“I wasn't joking either when I tried to make my offer. You know it stands. Whatever you need me to do, I'll do it. I trust you.” She swallowed, running her hand over my face. “If I've figured out anything by now, it's that there's no real choice.”
Anger exploded in my brain. “What the fuck are you talking about, babe? I'm giving you one right now!”
“You mean I should let your son die and have these men come after us anyway? That's what you're asking me to do if I don't agree. That's no choice.”
I was about to speak when she leaned in, butting her forehead against mine. “And I'm okay with that. If you and the Prophet and this whole damned thing have taught me anything, it's that free will is crap. It's an illusion. God makes the roads we take clear, clear and settled as the streams in the forest. It's up to us to cross them with our bare feet and hope there's nothing sharp at the bottom.”
I looked at her, holding in the rage. “How the fuck do you make so much sense?”
“I guess heartache gives a girl some valuable lessons.” She shrugged. “Now, sir, please show me how to put this stuff on without killing myself.”
Against all reason, I grinned. Maybe she hadn't learned to talk dirty like I did yet, but the girl knew how to speak my language.
I stood, embracing her as tight as I could, stopping just short of a kiss. If I did that, my cock wouldn't let me do this without another romp.
I had to reign his ass in, same as my brain's sick thoughts about all the things that could go wrong. There was no turning back.
We were really gonna do this, and I was going to bring everybody in my family home.
Everyone. Izzy, Ty, and Cassie included.
“I fucking love you, babe. You know that?”
She answered me with a kiss, the kiss I had to resist. Fuck if I could. We had work to do, but I allowed myself this tiny pleasure, no matter how much lust came with it.
I'd remember these lips forever, even if the next couple days took me to my grave.
XI: Strike Me Down (Cassie)
In the old days, I would've prayed. But I didn't know where to send my prayers anymore. I refused to give them to the cruel God worshiped by the Prophet, the god who would've cursed me three times to my grave without Evan's deliverance.
Had a different being saved me? Maybe. And maybe I could believe it if I survived this.
It was a long drive down to the little towns near the border. Almost ten hours. We took Izzy's SUV for comfort, ridding easier over the rugged terrain that started after LA. The land grew sparser, and there were no more rolling forests in sight like the kind I was used to in NorCal.
The land was long dormant. Arid, desolate, dead.
“Here. The villa's just past this ranch.” Evan's eyes flicked up to the mirror to look at me in the backseat.
I nodded, solemn and ready. Well, ready as I'd ever be for getting passed off to yet another monster.
I was careful not to bite my lip. He assured me over and over that the deadly coating was applied perfect, but I wasn't taking any chances.
“I'm telling you, Evan, if anything happens to her, I'm holding your ass responsible.” Izzy looked at him from the passenger seat, daggers in her eyes.