Merciless Love: A Dark Romance(63)

What the fuck was I thinking? How had I ever tried to break her down for a death sentence in Borzia's sick hands?

I didn't deserve the wide eyed compassionate angel in front of me. My guts tightened up and burned, raging at the realization that I couldn't keep anybody safe.

My stupid, sloppy errors dragged good people to their deaths, and it was bound to do some more before I was done. Had to be karma biting me right in the ass for all the lives I'd taken.

Satan was a hungry sonofabitch, and I had a cold feeling he wasn't done with me yet. Not by a goddamned California mile.

“I...I don't know what to say,” she stammered. Cassie shook her head, dark hair bouncing over her beautiful bare shoulders. “What's done is done. You made your mistakes and they were bad ones, Evan...”

Don't say it, I thought.

My guts heaved. Fuck, the last thing in the world I wanted was to hear her tell me everything was all right, and the future was gonna be all roses. I turned away when she stepped up and ran her hand over my face.

“You're sweet, baby girl, but you don't got a fucking clue. I deserve this shit. I deserve everything for the things I did, let alone the sick and shitty things I was close to doing just thirty hours ago. You see this?”

I jabbed my thumb into my chest, tracing the crossed swords I had inked on my breast. They symbolized the way my whole life had gone to hell, reminders to avoid fucking up again, burned on my flesh where I couldn't forget.

“This shit here used to be a skull and crossbones. Used to think I was Mister Badass with life and death wrapped around my fucking finger. Turns out it's not so simple. I played reaper and shoved the nastiest assholes you can imagine into their graves. Now, I'm the hunted. My head's between those damned swords if I don't figure this shit out. And I'm not taking any more chances. Not with you, not with Izzy, not with Ty. I'm doing this alone.”

“I can't believe sin and redemption are so clear cut. That was the Prophet's message – damnation for the corrupted, hellfire and death to purify anyone in the congregation who went astray like me. That can't be right, Evan. Nobody is condemned forever if they try to make it right. If you killed her, I get it, even if you weren't holding the swords...but you can still save your son. Same way you can save yourself.”

I raised an eyebrow. The girl was wise beyond her years. Rare to see wisdom and beauty all mixed up, twisted together in a rocking hot body like hers.

But fuck, it was that body keeping her here, wasn't it? If she'd been anything less than perfection on two long legs that hooked straight around my hips, I would've turned her out. I wouldn't have roped her back here in the first place.

Too bad I couldn't let go. Not while she had my aching nuts in her hand, balls melting at her touch. My dick wanted her here too bad.

And shit, he'd seen her too. If Cassie went off on her own, even under my supervision, the cartel could get antsy. There was nothing stopping her from ending up in his talons if he wanted her bad enough.

No fucking way was I gonna let that happen. She was right.

All my fuckups were squarely in the past. I had to make things right for her, for Ty, for Izzy. Had to cure everything I'd poisoned, and drag that fucking asshole who'd started all this to hell with me.

I was about to speak when she opened her lips and dropped a bomb. “Let me help you, Evan. You say this man's unreachable? I don't believe it. Not after the way I saw you kill those men and save me. You're smart...strong...amazing. If you have the right tools, you can figure something out. Use me if it helps solve all this.”

“No!” I jerked out of her arms. This time, I was putting real space between us.

Couldn't take the risk having her so damned close. Her tits and pussy up against my skin wouldn't let me think straight.

“You talk about innocents! Who's more innocent than your kid, Evan? It's not me. No matter how much you think it is.” She took a deep breath. “Don't let a child suffer if there's something I can do. I'll be careful. I'll do whatever you want. I won't let myself get too deep in danger or anybody else if –“

“No ifs, ands, or buts, babe. None.” Red hot blood pounded in my chest. “When I pulled you away from the religious freaks, I told you I wasn't taking any chances again. I'm sticking to it. You can like it or fucking lump it – you're not going anywhere I can't see. Not one inch closer to Borzia.”

Her lips twisted. She didn't like what I was saying, but she didn't fight it. I had to move fast.

All this intensity in the nude sent angry blood pumping through me, including to my cock. I wasn't gonna fuck her when I was pissed and risk losing my head. Shuffling to the edge of the bed, I grabbed my clothes, and dashed out the room before she could say another word.