Mended(4)

I grin when I realize how that just sounded. “I meant what floor, because I live on the fifth.”

He tosses his head back, laughing. “I’m in 5G.”

“5H.” I extend a hand. “Nice to meet you, neighbor.”

We take the stairs, bitching about the elevator, and saying goodbye outside our doors. Once inside, I check my phone, which is on the counter where I left it. I keep forgetting I own one now. Two missed calls from Keith and a text letting me know he won’t be spending the night.

My stomach twists when I realize I’ll be on my own for the first time since moving here. My finger taps the counter as I re-read the message. I guess I’m going to have to get used to this. It is what I wanted. I text him back saying I’m home and no problem.

After a long shower, I still can’t seem to unwind, even though the water felt wonderful. I pull on yoga pants and a tank top and lie in bed, pulling the covers to my chin. I find myself staring at the ceiling, wishing I could stop jumping at everything that goes bump in the night.

Tears leak out as I think of Cole. I wonder if he’s thinking of me. Probably not in the way I’d want. I want to call him so badly to find out if he really meant those words, but I can’t. I can’t show weakness; I have to stay strong. I stroke absently along the spot next to me, feeling the coldness of the sheets there, and jerk my hand back. I curl into a ball and let my armor flake away. Oh, I miss him so much. I would do anything to smell him right now. Then I remember something, and my feet hit the cold wood floor, hurrying my steps. Yanking open the top right drawer, I see it tucked neatly inside. I remove my tank top and pull on Cole’s camo t-shirt. His name, Logan, wraps around my back almost like it’s his arm. Looking around my room, I decide this just won’t do, so I grab my comforter and pillow. Instead of going back to bed, I head out to the living room where I click on the TV and make myself comfy on the couch facing the door. I spend the next four hours watching reruns of Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.

At nine in the morning, I hear a knock at the door. Keith always texts when he’s in the building. Standing on my tiptoes, I peek through the peephole and laugh, opening the door to Jake standing in a pair of fleece PJ pants holding an empty mug, his blond hair pointing every which way.

“I smell coffee,” he moans like he’s still asleep.

Opening the door wider, I let him in. “Are you sleepwalking?” I joke as I lock all five locks behind him.

His eyes are still slits, but I see him take in my bed on the couch and Cole's shirt. “If I am, will you still share that delicious smelling coffee?”

“Come on,” I laugh, waving him toward the kitchen. Jake plunks down on a bar stool as I move about, fixing us each a cup. “Cheers.” I clink my mug to his, and he grins as he sips the brew.

“Sweet Lucifer down in hell, what is this?” At first I think he’s being insulting, but his face says otherwise.

I lean my hip into the counter and give him a look. “I add a little something to the coffee.”

“Savi, I hope you realize what you did,” he says with a smirk. “From now on you are now my morning date.”

I smile. See, Savi, progress. Jake and I spend the rest of the day camped out under the warmth of my comforter. I’m totally at ease with him. He’s never once made me feel uncomfortable, and I figure if Zack trusts him, I can. We order pizza and watch a marathon of Louie CK standups until an hour before our shift starts. Keith texts a few times, and I assure him I’m fine, because I am…at the moment. I’ve made a friend.

“Savi, can I ask you something?” Jake says, taking a wet napkin to his greasy fingers. “Who’s Logan?” I’m thrown by his question until he points to the back of my shirt. Oh. “Looks like a legit army shirt, and I’m guessing you’re not in the force.”

“He’s—was my boyfriend,” I stumble, feeling that knife to the heart.

Jake nods and shifts so he faces me. “Was it serious?” I nod. “Is he still around?”

“Yeah, it just ended recently, so it’s still raw.” My voice is barely a whisper.

He smiles, leaning his chin on his hand. “You love him, don’t you?”

“I do.”

“It sucks to love someone but not be with them.” He sighs.

I feel like he may be referring to something in his life, but I don’t pry. “Yeah, it does.”

“Why do I feel like you have quite the history, Savannah…?” He waits for my last name, but I hesitate. He watches me for a moment. I can see him thinking, then his whole face brightens. “All right, no more prying today. We have to get to work. I’ll be waiting for you outside your door in forty-five. For the love of god, do something with that hair of yours!” He laughs and snags another piece of pizza as he heads out the door.