“Oh,” I whisper, instantly feeling indebted to this guy.
“I was also there when you were found at The American’s house,” he adds.
I smile at him. I’m starting to get used to the fact that so many people have met me at some point, even if I don’t remember them. I feel the need to explain my behavior. “I’m sorry I’ve been so standoffish. I’m just trying to get through this so I can figure out what I want to do with what’s left of my life.”
“Sounds exhausting.”
“It is!” I laugh, thinking it’s nice to still be able to.
Our food comes, and we pick away, talking about little things. It isn’t until he brings up the training for the Green Berets that something nags at me from the edge of my memory again.
“What?” he asks, seeing my face.
“Ever have this feeling you’re forgetting something important?” I close my eyes and try to think. “I think it’s got something to do with Davie...the newest recruit at the house.” I see Agent Hahn studying me. “I’m sorry, it’s nothing.”
“It’s okay. Yes, I have, and it’s annoying.”
“Very,” I agree. “It’s like seeing the end of a rope, but it’s just out of reach, I feel like if I could only grab it and tug, the memory would come to me.” I laugh and shake my head. “Oh well, tomorrow is going to be exhausting. I guess we should get back.”
“Yeah,” he grabs his coat, “let’s get back.”
“Agent Hahn?”
“Yes?” He turns to look at me.
“Thanks for taking me out for dinner and the talk. It helped a bit.”
He hands me my hat. “Happy to hear that, Savannah.”
Later, lying in bed with a slight buzz on, just enough to keep the shakes away, but not enough to make my head stop spinning thinking about tomorrow, my cellphone goes off beside me. A flutter of hope that maybe it’s Cole goes through me, but it’s not.
Jake: Coffee doesn’t taste right.
I smirk and roll onto my side.
Savi: Yes it does.
Jake: It does, but I’m bored without you.
I miss my friend too.
Savi: Sorry. I’m coming home Thursday morning.
Jake: Good! You still on for our double date?
Shit.
Savi: It’s not a date, but yes.
Jake: You want some dirt? I have good and bad.
I think for a moment…
Savi: Maybe…bad first?
There’s a small pause, and I wonder if the news is about work. I wonder if someone got fired. Yikes, I hope not.
Jake: I saw Logan in town yesterday…with the town bitch Christina. She had her claws all over him. Just thought you should know.
My stomach sinks…oh…
Jake: Now for the good news! Zack hired some new staff…we're talking yummy staff! I think one may play for my team. One can dream.
I flop on my back and feel my heart squeeze to the point of pain.
Savi: Thanks for letting me know, and I hope so for your sake.
Jake: You all right?
Not at all.
Savi: I hope after tomorrow. I should go…night.
Jake: Call me if you need to chat. Night, Savi. xo
***
“You look…”
“I know.” I snag the coffee Hahn got me and take a few long sips. “I didn’t get much sleep.”
“Did you get any?” he asks, slipping into his suit jacket and taking in the dark circles under my eyes.
“Would you?”
“No, probably not.” He checks the time. “We should go.”
Frank works wonders with this case, keeping the media at bay. The only ones who know I am going to be in court today are the lawyers and the judge.
I am told to sit on a bench and wait for my name to be called. Agent Hahn and Frank are busy talking to the lawyers down the hall, far enough away that I can’t hear what they’re saying.
My nerves are shot. I can feel a slight trembling starting in my legs. To say I'm scared would be putting it mildly. I am freaking out, full throttle. Every breath I take gets harder, like there is a weight on my chest. My phone goes off, making my purse vibrate. I was supposed to turn it off, but I forgot. Not thinking, I answer it.
“Hello?”
“Savannah?” Cole’s voice washes over me. “Are you all right? Are you at the court?”
“I-I don’t think I can do this.” The words slip past my lips. “I don’t want to do this.”
“Hey, baby, you can. Think about how much your testimony will count. How long he will go away for. I know this is scary, but you are strong, and you can do this.”
I hold on to his words, wishing so much he was here with me. Just hearing his voice helps to steady me.