Melt For Him(43)

Damn heart. Damn annoying, frustrating heart. It was supposed to have barriers, to protect her from this kind of feeling. But instead of fighting it off from the outside, she was falling from the inside.

She shooed away those thoughts to focus on Jamie. “I remember that time you called me when you were still unsure of things with Smith. I’m so happy that you guys are together and in love.” She wrapped an arm around Jamie and pulled her in for a quick hug.

“Me, too.” They pulled apart when Chance nosed Jamie’s leg. She stroked his snout and cooed at him, then continued the ball-throwing. “Can I tell you something funny?”

“Sure. I could use a laugh.”

“This is going to sound crazy, but I once pictured you with Becker. I had a hunch that you two might be good for each other.”

“I remember you telling me he was super hot, and you sure as hell weren’t lying about that.”

“There’s more to it, though. One night when I was at the bar, all mixed up about Smith and how I felt about him, I was missing you and wishing I could talk to you, and it hit me. You’re so good at that. At just talking to people, and being straightforward and getting to the heart of things. And it made me think you might be good together. I think he’s afraid of commitment, too.”

“I’m not afraid of commitment. I was with Jason for almost two years. I was so committed I was beyond committed,” Megan said defensively.

“That’s not what I mean. What I mean is he’s lost people too, Megan. He doesn’t talk about it, but it’s kind of this unspoken thing. He moved here because there was some terrible fire in Chicago where he used to work, and he lost a bunch of his men.”

Tears pricked the backs of her eyes. “Oh, no.”

Jamie nodded. “I think it’s pretty hard for him to even think about being involved with someone for that reason. I mean, it’s not like he tells me this. I’m just using my woman’s intuition. But he’s a loner. He’s very focused on his business, and his job, and I’ve always thought it’s because he knows what getting close could lead to.”

To loss. To the worst kind of heartbreak you could imagine. “How on earth does that make me perfect for him then?”

“Because,” Jamie said, her voice rising in emphasis. “Because you’ve made it to the other side. He needs someone who can show him that life isn’t always painful. That getting close isn’t always scary. He’s not afraid of commitment because he’s a playboy or a jerk. He’s afraid because he thinks he’s too damaged. Sometimes, a man like that needs a woman like you to show him the other side, because you’re tough and strong and a survivor. Because you tell it like it is. You tell yourself you have all these rules and you don’t date firemen or men who have dangerous jobs, but you chase your dreams. You went to L.A. for Jason. You’re going to Portland to become a tattoo artist. You aren’t afraid.”

“Okay, so you think I’m perfect for him. But tell me why he’s perfect for me then?”

“Because he is incredibly caring, and smart and sensitive. And ultimately, because he is good.”

“It’s that simple?”

“Sometimes it is. Oh, but wait. There’s one part I can’t answer. How was the—” Jamie asked, then waggled her eyebrows.

She sighed, and butterflies threatened to take her chest hostage from the memories. “It was epic. It was out of this world.” Megan’s gaze drifted off; her eyes went glassy as she flashed back to their first night. “It was like he knew me. Like he knew my body. It was like he’d been wanting to do things to me for ages and finally had the chance. Which sounds crazy, considering we just met. But that’s what it felt like. We had this intense physical connection.”

“And now there’s an emotional connection. So what are you going to do about Travis? And what are you going to do about the fact that you’re leaving?”

“I’m going to take it one thing at a time. Travis made it pretty damn clear I needed to stay the hell away, and I love him and respect him and want to do right by him.”

“But you’re not doing right by him by sneaking around. If you’re not going to follow his advice, you should at least be honest and let him know that you respect him, but you’re choosing your own way.”

As she walked to her mom’s store, she knew that Jamie was right. Her brother had raised her better than this. If she was going to keep falling into Becker’s arms while she was here, she had to tell her brother.

An Open Book had been a part of her life since high school, when her mom met and married Robert. She’d spent many days and evenings here, helping out on weekends, and now and then during college when she came home during breaks. She wasn’t a bookish kid growing up, though she did love the escape of a good story, preferably an adventure tale involving spies, high-stakes getaways, and epic kisses in sophisticated foreign cities.