Melt For Him(33)

He turned the water to scalding, and as it pelted his back, he tried to remind himself that there was no logical reason that he should be so transfixed now on all that could go wrong, with her or with anyone. He’d saved more people along the way than not, and had managed it without feeling like his head was in a vise, forcing him to witness an endless reel of memories. But sometimes, all it took was the flicker of worry, the possibility of someone else he cared for being hurt, or worse, and he was thrust back to the past. Helpless to his wandering mind that returned to the same point in time, hearing the roar of the flames, smelling the burning building, then witnessing the moment the wall killed his friends.

Maybe he could have grabbed them harder. Held on longer.

Fuck if he knew anymore.

All he knew was he hadn’t been able to save them. That knowledge was always pounding on his skull, an endless loop that never let up. But then it started to loosen its hold as he returned to her, remembering their morning. When he was with Megan, he didn’t feel so caged in. It wasn’t that he forgot the past with her; it was that he didn’t feel imprisoned by it. For a moment there by the river, with her hand spread out across his chest, fingers stretching over the thin fabric of his T-shirt as if she owned him, he’d felt something like release, like a ghost being exorcised, then quietly slipping away, never to come around again.

Then it was gone.

He scrubbed shampoo in his hair, then rinsed it out, turned the faucet off, and stepped out of the shower. He wrapped a towel around his waist and went hunting through his drawers for clothes. He pulled on boxers, jeans, and a T-shirt. Today, he had to review the books at the Panting Dog, and he hoped the numbers and the rhythm of the balance sheet would soothe his mind.

Until tomorrow. Until he saw her again.

…

Megan Photoshopped an ostrich head onto her brother’s body. She studied the shot, then added other random animal features—massive black wings to his arms and a pair of webbed feet. Perfect. She emailed it to him, and moments later as her cell phone rang, she prepared herself for some mud-slinging.

But it was her mother calling from the cruise.

“Are you tanned, rested, and ready to come home?” Megan asked when she answered.

“Heck no. Robert and I never want to come back. We’re docked somewhere in the Caribbean now, and I’m dining on tilapia and sipping a tropical fruit drink on the deck of a restaurant that looks out over the ocean waves. Have I mentioned it’s eighty-two degrees and balmy?”

“It’d better be. It’s a cruise in the tropics.” She pushed away from her laptop at the kitchen table where she’d been working on the photos.

“How is it being back in town, sweetie?”

“Oh, you know. Same old, same old.”

“Could you try being more evasive?” her mom teased, and Megan liked how playful she seemed. Two weeks at sea under the sun could do that to you. But then, her mom always enjoyed herself when she was with Robert. She had met him when he landed in town and opened a bookstore several years ago, after running a successful one under the same name in New York City. Her mom attended the first reading at the bookstore and a whirlwind courtship followed.

Robert was good to her, treated her like a queen, and was home for dinner every night. Megan figured that’s what her mom had wanted most of all. Dependability. In the last year, they’d both scaled back on work, and had a talented manager who ran the shop so they could take vacations like this now and then. It was almost as if her mom was making up for lost time, and cramming all the good things in life into her schedule now, since she’d missed the chance to do so during those dark years.

“It’s actually not so bad being back,” Megan conceded. “The calendar is keeping me busy. Plus, I’ve been hanging out with Jamie and Travis. He’s still a pain in the ass. That hasn’t changed.”

“Well, there’s not much about your brother we can change, now is there?”

“Truer words were never spoken.”

“In any case, I was hoping you could help us out with a little something at the bookstore.”

“Sure. What is it?”

“My manager, Craig, needs a day or two off,” her mother said. “Could you fill in for him?”

Immediately, Megan cycled back to Jamie’s comments the other night about Craig’s near-death accident on the slopes. If he needed time off, it probably had to be related to the accident. Besides, Megan’s instincts were to help her mom. “Of course. Anything I can do.”

“It won’t interfere with the photo shoot?”

“Not at all. There’s a lot of flexibility with when I can shoot, and I already have a few great shots of the guys, so it’s shaping up nicely. Besides, I want to help,” Megan said as she headed into the kitchen to root around for something to eat.