Medieval Master Swordsmen(377)

"Derica," he called softly.

She paused, her manner stiff. "What is it?"

What is it? Garren felt a strange pressure in his chest, tight, as if he couldn't breathe. He couldn't be truthful and tell her what it was. He felt himself weakening again and wondered, if this time, there would be no point of return.

"I am sorry if I have been rude to you," he said.

"I am sure I do not know what you mean, Sir Garren. Good eve to you."

She turned up the stairs again but he stopped her. When she turned this time, he appeared a few steps below her. He had mounted the stairs and she had never heard him. The expression on his face was surprisingly unguarded.

"You must understand something," his voice was low. "How I behave with you privately and how I behave with you in front of your family are two different matters altogether."

She almost did not want to be drawn into this line of conversation, so deep was her insult and confusion. But a large part of her needed to know why he had been so nice to her then had changed as abruptly as day to night.

"Why?" she demanded softly.

"Because if they see that I am kind to you, interested even, then it will suggest weakness. And right now, your family is putting me to a test of strength. I must not fail that test. Can you comprehend that, in any manner?"

She did, somewhat. Her father and uncles and brothers were a group marred by male shortcomings. Another male into the fold only fueled their fires. Garren was doing what he had to do in order not to be trampled by them.

Her hurt was easing. "But you were...," she tried to find the right words. "In front of Aglette, you acted as if I had done something to offend you. Only the evening before, you had been warm and kind in my chamber, yet when I saw you in the bailey, you were...."

He put his hand up to silence her. "I know," he said softly. "But your servant could also be a witness for your family. Were they to ask her, she could say that she saw me demonstrate kindness toward you, something that could, again, be perceived as weakness. I want nothing to be used against me."

“Aglette is not a servant. She is my friend, and loyal to the death.”

“My apologies, then. But I could not make that assumption.”

She wondered if she should believe him or not. "So what you are telling me, in essence, is that in public you cannot show me any kindness so long as my family is around? Only when we are alone, is that it?"

"While your family still gnashes their teeth every time they see me, I am not sure there is any other alternative."

"Are you so concerned they would think you weak that you would rather have me think you a cad?"

"No," he shook his head slowly. "But I pray you understand my reasoning."

"But those things you said in the hall, how you have no need or interest in marrying me. Is that true?"

"No."

"Then you do have interest?"

"Can you not see it in my face, even now?"

She could, but she was terrified of this man she did not know, yet was enormously attracted to. He had the power to bend her emotions like grass in the wind.

"I see a man who says one thing, yet demonstrates another," she said after a moment. "I think you make excuses to soothe me. I shall not be made a fool of."

He sighed, feeling like he was losing a battle. This one involved feeling and he hadn't a sword big enough to fight it.

"I understand your reservation. What would convince you that I am a man of my word?"

She looked at him, thoughtfully. "Would you consider yourself a strong man, Sir Garren?"

"Stronger than most, I suppose."

"Then if you are so strong, what should it matter what my family thinks? If you are so strong, their opinion should mean nothing to you. You can stand on your strength alone."

He gazed at her a long moment. Then, he smiled. "Wiser words were never spoken, my lady."

"Perhaps. But will you heed them?"

"I can see that it will cost me your respect not to. And your respect means more to me than theirs."

She was surprised. "It does?"

"It does."

His expression made her feel giddy. They stood there on the sturdy wooden steps, gazing at each other, feeling a tide of new emotion sweep through them. Garren knew it was unhealthy for him, but he couldn't help it. It was far easier to give in than to resist. Perhaps he should just learn to work with his traitorous emotions so that they did not interfere in his thought process. He had always been the adaptable sort. With that thought, he let go of his fear and simply enjoyed something he'd never felt before in his life.

It was a bold move to reach out and take her hand. It was even bolder to place a tender kiss on the inside of her wrist. He could feel her hand tremble and it pleased him tremendously. He wanted so badly to kiss her lips, but he wouldn't dare. Her soft hand in his calloused one, for the moment, was enough.