Davyss knew that, but he was so shaken at the moment that it was difficult for him to settle his thoughts. “If she is not at Hollyhock, I will send you word,” he slapped the man on the shoulder as Hugh bellowed for Davyss’ mount. “Go, now. I will return when I can.”
Although Andrew wasn’t entirely certain, he did as he was told. A groom brought about Davyss’ charger and he mounted, charging from the encampments and out into the streets beyond.
***
She was standing by the river’s edge as it banked along the border of Hollyhock, watching the waters of the Thames flow gently along. Birds cried over head and the clouds intermittently blocked out the sun. She stood there, staring at the water, wondering if she was strong enough to throw herself in simply to rid herself of the pain in her heart.
She had run the mile or so from the tournament field back to Hollyhock. It had been foolish to run away; she knew that. But she had a habit of running from situations that went beyond her control. When her emotions were raging, there was no telling how far she would run. She had tried to run when Davyss’ men first came to escort her to her wedding, she had run when Davyss and his men had gotten into the fight at the Fist and Tankard, and she had run again when the woman who bore Davyss children had come around. She was always running. Sometimes she just had to.
She could hear the distant cheers from the crowds at the tournament arena. She knew that the mêlée must be well under way and she was sure that Davyss and his men were winning. With a heavy sigh, she knew that she needed to return to the field before the mêlée ended so that Davyss would not know that she had run off again. But she could hear Avarine’s words over and over in her head, like a battering ram, pounding the meaning and pain of the situation deep into her heart. Still, she would have to reconcile herself eventually. Davyss had other children. She had given him none.
With another sigh, she turned away from the river. But there was a body directly behind her and she gasped with fright, startled to see Davyss standing a few feet away. She had never heard him approach.
Devereux gazed into his beautiful hazel eyes, looking so forlornly back at her. She didn’t know what to say, feeling flushed and startled by his appearance. She realized that Lucy must have told him what had happened and, like any good husband, he went to search for her. No matter where she went, he always found her. She opened her mouth to say something but the words wouldn’t come. The sobs, however, did.
She burst into tears and threw herself against him. Davyss wrapped his arms around her tightly, feeling his own eyes sting with tears. There were layers of mail, armor and tunics between them, but Davyss could not have felt closer to the woman than he did at that moment. His relief, his sorrow, was indescribable.
“I am so sorry,” he murmured into the top of her head. “Dear God, if I could take back everything in my life that would even remotely bring you shame, I would do it gladly. I cannot apologize enough for your shame and hurt.”
She continued to weep, painfully deep, as he rocked her gently. “I… I am sorry I ran,” she sobbed. “I just did not… I could not… what she said. She was so happy, so thrilled to have borne your children and she wants to be a family with you.”
He suddenly grasped her by the face, forcing her to look at him. The glow from the hazel eyes was powerful.
“But I do not want to be a family with her,” he shook her gently to punctuate his words. “How many times must I explain this to you, Devereux? It is you that I love and adore, children or no. The day I married you, all other women in the world ceased to exist for me. There will be times when women like Avarine speak of me, for whatever reason, and you must tell yourself that whatever they speak of is all in the past. I would never stray from you and I do not hold feelings for anyone but you. How in the world can I prove this to you? Please tell me, for I do not like seeing you in pain like this. Please help me understand what I can do to convince you that you are the only woman I will ever love.”
By the time he finished his speech, her sobs had calmed. She gazed back at him, with an occasional hiccup, wiping her cheeks and nose with the pretty red satin handkerchief she had intended to give to her husband as a favor in the joust. After several moments of digesting his words, she finally shook her head.
“I know you love me and I know you will not stray,” she whispered. “It had nothing to do with that. After what happened with our child, seeing the beautiful girls you had fathered simply made me long for our baby. I want so much to be a good wife and to provide you with children. Seeing those girls… it simply reminded me of what we had lost.”