Eleven
Penelope
Paine holds me to him, his arms wrapped tightly around me as I sob uncontrollably. I have no Idea what I would’ve done without him today. He’s been my rock through everything. Helping me move through the motions.
When I went to check on my grandma this morning, I found her unresponsive. The rest was a blur of red lights and the doctors telling me there was nothing they could do. She was gone. She had passed easily in her sleep sometime in the night.
It’s so eerie to be standing in a hospital, being told someone you love is gone. Then being told to go home. You just leave without your loved one. I don’t know why I thought this was so strange, but it hit me hard. I didn’t want to leave the hospital, it felt too soon and all too final. There was still so much more I needed to say as the nurses and doctors moved around me tending to other patients. But they were right. There was no reason to be there. But I didn’t want to go home.
“Let it all out, Duchess.” Paine strokes my hair as he slowly rocks me in his lap. We’re now back at his house, in his bed. I have no idea how long I’ve been in his lap now, but there’s nowhere else I want to be in this moment.
When the sobbing finally stops and I don’t think I can shed another tear, Paine lays me down in his bed, slipping me under the covers. “Baby, you need to eat.” The mention of food makes my stomach turn over, and I shake my head.
He drops down beside me. He gently pushes some of my hair out of my face, and I think how I could have ever believed that he’d hurt me. This man who’s been holding me together all day would never hurt a hair on my head. I want to kick myself for doubting him, which makes me cry even harder.
“The last conversation I had with her was filled with lies,” I tell him, confessing my mistakes. “I talked about that stupid wedding. I wish I’d told her about you. Should would have loved that so much. You should’ve heard the way she talked about my grandpa.”
“I did, Duchess,” he whispers as he places a red velvet box between us. I realize it looks familiar because I’d been holding it the day before. “How did you…” I reach out to grab it, but he snatches it back, giving me a sweet smirk. I didn’t know a man like Paine could have a sweet smirk, but it’s there on his face now, all soft and warm.
“She let me in last night.” He opens the box, pulling out the beautiful ring, a contrast to his rough, hard hands. “She knew she wanted you to be happy, and I told her I’d spend my life making sure you were. She knew a lot more than you think she did, and I think she saw in me what you do. Then she gave me the ring.”#p#分页标题#e#
I sit up, not knowing what to say. He talked to my grandma last night, and she’d given him the ring? He stays on his knees next to the bed, me looking down at him.
“I wanted to do this differently, give you flowers and say words filled with poetry. Something a woman like you deserves.”
“A woman like me?” I question, not knowing what he means.
“A duchess.”
“Your duchess,” I correct, making his eyes grow possessive.
“I may not have a castle to put you in, but I’ll build you one if that’s what you want.”
“I’d be happy being your duchess anywhere you put me, Paine. If you asked.”
“I’m trying, baby,” he teases, making me smile for the first time all day. This is what my grandma was talking about. She didn’t care about all the things my grandpa gave her. It was just being with him. I realize what she was getting at, and I don’t care about it either. The idea of going back to the giant family estate isn’t appealing. I want to stay right here in Paine’s house for the rest of my life.
Paine grabs my hand, his rough fingers running along my knuckles before he slides the ring on me. He leans up to kiss me, his mouth taking mine possessively like never before. This one is claiming, like he is trying to leave a mark on me for the world to see. Desire shoots through my body, and I try to pull him closer to me, wanting his body against mine. Just as I have this thought, he breaks the kiss and rubs his cheek against mine, both of us breathing heavily. His beard is rough against my soft skin, and I lean into it, loving the feeling.
“None of that tonight, baby. You need to sleep.”
“You said you’d give me whatever I want.” I try to pout, but he turns me over, facing away from him as he comes crawling in behind me, wrapping his arms around me. He pulls my back to his front as he spoons me, and I close my eyes at the feeling of safety. This is something we’ll get to do for the rest of our lives, and I feel another smile pull at my lips.