“They all kind of taste the same,” she says, taking another bite of what seems like the twentieth sample of cake this afternoon. Maybe that giant breakfast was a bad idea. I tingle between my thighs just thinking about what Paine and I did afterwards. Nope, it was totally worth it. One of the small pleasures I was going to take for myself.
“Yeah, I say we just pick one.” Moving the plates over to a side table, I lie across the end of my grandma’s bed and unbutton my jeans. If I keep this up, I won’t fit into the wedding dress. Then maybe I won’t have to get married.
“Go with the vanilla bean then. It has a nice filling.” She sets the plate down on her nightstand, then pulls out a ring box from the drawer.
“I’ve been wanting to show you this. Do you remember it?” She hands me a small velvet box, and I open it, gasping at the ring inside. It’s a beautiful circular diamond, surrounded by a halo of sapphires. The band is studded with diamonds that wrap all the way around, making it look antique. It’s the most perfect ring I’ve ever seen.
“Your grandpa gave me that.”
I pull it out of the box and read the inscription.
Only you. Only us. Forever.
“I’ve never seen you wear it.” My eyes drop to her ring finger, which bears the wedding ring she’s worn ever since I can remember. It’s a simple gold band that looks beat up after all the years of wear.
“I did from time to time to make your grandpa happy when he was alive, but I could never bear to take this one off.” She runs her wrinkled hand over the gold band on her ring finger. “This was the one he gave me when he didn’t have a penny to his name. The one he asked me to marry him with. This is the one I’ll be buried with. He only gave me that one because he thought I’d want something better.”
She moves the gold band back and forth on her finger, and can I can tell she’s having memories about him. “I never cared about all this.” She waves her hands around, indicting the house and their wealth. Grandpa played the stock market, and it paid off big. “I’m happy that I don’t have to worry about you, and I know your grandpa felt the same. He wanted to make sure we never went without, but I’d give it all away to have even just one more day with him.”
“I wish I could remember him better,” I tell her, putting the ring back in the box. Life seemed like it was so different before I was born. So much love filled the house. I don’t know how my father snaked his way in, but it just didn’t fit.
Grandpa died when I was young, and I can’t remember him at all. My mother died when I was born, and he followed soon after her. I’m not sure how my grandma survived losing her husband and her daughter so close together. Another reason I wouldn’t let her lose me.
“He’d light up whenever he looked at you. He loved you so much.” I love when she talks about my grandfather. Her whole face warms, and the love she has for him shows even after all these years of him being gone. I want a love like that one day. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but one day I’ll find that. I’ll just have to suffer through this marriage for a while and enjoy the time I have left with my grandmother. Life seems to be about living day to day at this point.
I reach over, handing her back the ring box, and she puts it in her bedside table. “Your grandpa got me that ring because he wanted to make me happy. It’s what he always wanted for his family. It’s a beautiful ring that he worked so hard for. And to me, it’s a sign of the purest love and devotion.” She smiles at me, and I can’t help but wish for that kind of love and happiness.#p#分页标题#e#
I know she wants me to be happy. Happiness is all she and my grandfather ever wanted for me. It’s a bitter pill to swallow because this wedding is a lie. I’ll be miserable.
“Life is about being true to yourself and finding the love you deserve. It’s too short to do it any other way.” She rests her head back on her pillow, and I can tell she’s tired and probably needs one of her pills. She’s right, though. Maybe I can soak as much up as I can before I walk down the aisle to my fate.
Getting up from the bed, I go to the bathroom, get her pills, and fill her glass of water. Placing them next to her bed, I lean down and give her a kiss.
“I’m so happy you’re marrying someone from here. I missed you so much when you were away at school.”
“I’m not going anywhere, Grandma. I promise.”
Seven
Paine
I’m losing my fucking mind, I think to myself as I see a clearly freshly fucked Tammy leave Scott’s law office, which sits in the center of town. Not ten minutes later, I see Scott exit his office, throw a bag in the trunk of his car, and turn, spotting me sitting on my motorcycle. I stare at him, and I can tell by the look on his face the whispers have already reached his ears.