He remembered what he'd said to Poppy, the questions he'd asked the other night. She may have been talking about her book, but those were the questions he'd been grappling with ever since the night he'd come home to find Laura's engagement ring on the table, and her sitting right there beside it with nothing but defeat left in her eyes.
And just like that, his happily-ever-after crumbled into pieces, and Cooper realized it had always been a lie.
It wasn't perfect. Hell, even he knew that. The bickering that turned to fights-lasting too long, cutting too deep. The slamming doors and empty silences, the hours he'd work just to avoid coming home, and the late nights she'd disappear to do much the same thing. But nothing was perfect, right? You just made it work. You fought for each other, for the life you were building, and got through the tough times, somehow.
But Laura didn't see it that way. "It shouldn't be this hard," she'd told him, and just like that, she'd taken herself out of the fight. Cooper was left alone on the battlefield with the sad, painful truth: she hadn't loved him enough to keep fighting for them.
He wasn't enough for her in the end.
Cooper sat there in the dark, lost in old memories. Laura was still on the Cape; she'd met a guy up in Truro the year after she left him. He was decent, from what Cooper could tell: an accountant, running a small shop for the local businesses. Now, they were married, with a baby, too. He saw them all together sometimes, glimpses passing on the street. She looked happy, and Cooper was glad about that. She deserved happiness, even if it wasn't with him. Relationships failed, sometimes people couldn't make it work-he knew that. He'd heard it all before. But deep down, Cooper still blamed himself for letting it slip away.
He should have been able to give her the life she wanted. He could have fought more to make things right.
It shouldn't be this hard.
Cooper swallowed back the knot in his throat. Look at him, picking over ancient history. People moved on all the time, and brooding in the dark wouldn't bring back something already dead and buried, which is why he rarely let himself think of her at all. But tonight, with Poppy's rejection still a fresh wound, he hadn't been able to keep himself from the past.
But it wasn't Laura's face that lingered in his mind as he turned the engine on and finally head for home. It was Poppy's.
Her eyes bright, smiling up at him. Hiding her face in her hands with embarrassment when he teased her. Laughing over dinner, so hard she almost choked on her food.
She was beautiful. Honest, and sweet, and determined. Tonight, he couldn't help but get swept up in her hopeful enthusiasm, believing that better days lay ahead. Somehow none of the past mattered, and those old wounds seemed a lifetime ago. For the first time in a long while, Cooper had found himself wondering what it would be like to try again with someone, for real this time. Open up and take that chance, to hell with the consequences.
Until they'd arrived back at her place to find her past wasn't ancient history, after all.
It was for the best. Cooper hit the road again, trying not to think about what she was doing with Owen, right at that moment. He had no business wanting a future with anyone. If the definition of insanity was trying the same thing over but somehow expecting a different result, then Cooper could take a hint.
Poppy was better off without him. He was a man made to be alone.
13
"I thought you were in Fiji."
Poppy headed for the kitchen, trying to collect herself. Seeing Owen standing there on the porch like a ghost from a previous life had scattered every thought from her mind. She busied herself putting the pie away and filling the tea kettle, nervously setting it on the stove as Owen leaned against the counter, watching her.
"I was," he replied. "You were right when you booked it. The honeymoon sunset cruise was magical. A little less magical being the only single man on a boat of happy couples whispering sweet nothings in each other's ears, but what can you do?" Owen shot her a rueful smile, and right away, Poppy was washed in a tidal wave of guilt.
She wasn't supposed to be out on dates, having fun, and walking on the beach at dawn breathing in the crisp salty breeze. She was supposed to be on that cruise with him. She was supposed to be his wife by now, setting out on their life together, instead of avoiding his gaze, her skin still flushed with desire for some other man.
Cooper.
Poppy felt a pang. She'd hated brushing him off like that, but her worlds had been colliding in one unholy mess, and she couldn't focus on Owen with Cooper so close. When he was around, she couldn't see anything but him, and that wasn't fair to Owen, not after everything. She just hoped Cooper understood.