Because, dammit, I’m not going anywhere.
“Well, I’m beat.” JoJo shakes her head. “But I think I’m getting better.”
“You are,” Kit assures her. “Why don’t you clean up and then we can discuss a few business things. A guy’s coming by tomorrow to take some headshots. And a reporter, too. We need to talk about the angle. Angle of the interview, not the photos. You’ll look great in all of those,” he says, smiling.
“Isn’t that a little close to fight time?” I ask. The fight’s in a week.
JoJo whips her head around. “What do you mean a reporter and headshot?”
“Well,” Kit shrugs, “it’s part of the package. This is the real deal. You’re the new fighter on the ticket, and they’re putting together some promotional stuff. Having a photo of you is important. Gotta get your name out there. And the reporter is from MMA Monthly, which is a coup. If the fight is a success, we’ll already have an in with them.”
I see JoJo’s face go white, which is an accomplishment. Her fair skin is flushed the moment she starts working out, and she’s usually red-faced, with her freckles looking like flames. Right now, though, she looks like a ghost.
“I guess I never thought it all through,” she says. Her brows are furrowed, deep in thought. What the fuck is so complicated about getting the fight of her life, and promoting it? This is what she wanted.
“I can’t do all that, Kit,” she states, matter-of-fact.
“What are you so nervous about?” I ask. The three of us are standing in the full gym. Guys are everywhere. I even see Ace and Landon working out in one corner. JoJo is the only girl ever working out here, and in this space, she’s never insecure. It’s strange to see her at a loss for words in her home away from home. “Is it the attention?”
She snorts. “Uh, yeah. The attention, for one. For two ... Kit, I’m not doing this long term. This is kind of a one-off, not a career move.”
Kit puts his hands on JoJo’s shoulders, reassuring her. “Honey,” he says, “you were born for this. Now what’s this talk about a one-off?”
I shake my head, not wanting to be around for this. Fuck, JoJo seems like she’s making headway, with whatever she and I are, with her confidence, her drive. But then she’s cowering again. I know exactly why she doesn’t want press, why she doesn’t want a second fight: because she doesn’t want her family to get wind of any of this.
Why the hell is she trying to hide who she really is from them? I can’t stand her or her excuses.
“I’m headed out,” I say. “Let you talk, manager to fighter. This is really none of my business.”
“You don’t have to leave,” JoJo calls to me.
“I know, but I want to. If you need anything, give me a call. I don’t work until nine.”
They return to their conversation, and I’m glad I’m getting a little space from it. I’m falling for this girl, but damn, she’s making it hard on me. It’s like we have a week of mind-altering sex, followed up once again by her being scared of her family knowing who she really is. I need my girl to grow up, to become a woman. Or this thing between us is never gonna work.
JoJo
I try to work things out with Kit, but we end up just arguing, which is not how we communicate. Feeling deflated and misunderstood, I walk away too.
In the locker room, I shower, plait my wet hair into a braid, and slide my feet into flip-flops.
Checking my phone, I see that it’s only three in the afternoon. Plenty of time to get Hardy from school, help with dinner, and then swing by McQueen’s place before he heads to work. I want things good between us.
Waving goodbye to Kit through the glass door of his office, I see he is on the phone. I pray he isn’t too pissed off with my ultimatums. Or me. He winks back, letting me know he’s moved on and cooled off. Good.
I get in my car and head to the Catholic school Mary sends Hardy to.
Pulling into the parking lot, I jump out to go wait with the parents picking up their kids.
“JoJo, is that you?” Claire asks, walking toward me.
We’ve talked a few times at the school, and I know she married one of McQueen’s best friends, but I’ve never spent time with anyone McQueen is close to.
He’s invited me out with his friends a few times, but I’ve always brushed him off. There’s no reason for me to tangle myself up any more than I already have. Having mind-blowing sex before I get married is one thing, bringing McQueen’s friends into it is something else. I don’t want that on my shoulders. I know I’m going to break Ryan McQueen’s heart soon enough; no use in hurting any more people along the way.
“Hey, Claire, long time no see,” I tell her.
She’s always been super-chill and gorgeous, and the ring on her finger is jaw-dropping. For a second, I wonder what my wedding ring will be like one day. Then I remember that Frank Grotto will be slipping one on my finger next week, and I momentarily wish I could throw up. Or run away. Or both.
I see Hardy run out of the school along with his classmates, in their little khakis and polo shirts—and I grin, knowing there is nothing on earth that could pull me away from my nephew and nieces.
His arms wrap around my waist. “Auntie Jo, I missed you,” he exclaims.
I pat his head, grateful that I’m here, and meet Claire’s eyes.
“You’re so good with him,” she tells me. “We really should get the kids together for a play date. I’ve talked about it with his mom, but never heard back.”
“Yeah, I’ll mention it to my sister. She’s just been really busy at the moment.”
Hardy spins to Claire and her daughter Sophia. “It’s cause my mommy and Daddy are getting forced.
“Forced?” Sophia cocks her head to the side. “What’s that?”
Hardy shrugs. “Don’t know, but Mommy says he’ll live somewhere else and I think Auntie JoJo should move in.”
My eyebrows fly up to the sky. “Okay, cutie pie, I think that’s a wrap.”
Sophia and Hardy aren’t fazed. They run to the playground, where most of the kindergarteners let off steam at the end of the day.
“That’s rough,” Claire says, adjusting Sophia’s backpack in her arm.
“I don’t know what will happen. A divorce is always so hard on kids, but life’s hard too, ya know?” I twist my lips, realizing how much Hardy is absorbing with his parent’s separation. Mary has continued to stomp her feet and say Connor can’t come home, but at some point she needs to be willing to hear him out, make some sort of amends. For the kids’ sake, at the very least.
“It’s so complicated,” Claire says. “You know, I was married before, and I’m so glad that relationship is behind me. It opened up space for me to fall in love. To be happy.”
“You look happy,” I tell her. Her platinum hair and bright red lips remind me of Gwen Stefani circa 1999. She’s effortlessly hot.
“I am so freaking happy,” she says, laughing. “And, speaking of happiness, McQueen says you have the fight of your life coming up. He invited us all to come.”
“He did?” I ask, surprised.
“Do you mind?” she laughs. “That is so McQueen, to not mention it to you first. He doesn’t really know how to date.”
“Oh, we’re not dating.”
“You’re not?” She frowns. “I thought… well. Never mind.”
“I mean, we’ve been hanging out, but it isn’t serious. Like, not at all.”
“Oh.” Claire crosses her arms, as if she’s protecting something.
“What aren’t you saying?” I ask. I have no interest in beating around the bush right now, not after the day I had. The fight with Kit. The fight with McQueen.
“It’s just, McQueen really likes you. Like likes you, likes you. It’s not a fling for him, or just a random hook-up. This is more.”
I shake my head, taken aback by her words. I’ve been so clear with Ryan about what I can offer him, what I’m willing to do with him—a no-strings attached few weeks is all I’ve put on the table. Even if what I want is everything. Even if what I want with him is something real, something with promises. Something with commitment. I can’t have that. I can’t have it both ways. And as I look at Hardy, running around the playground, I know I’m the one stable thing in my family’s life right now. I can’t give that up. I won’t.
“I’m not in a place for it to be more. I’m just not.”
“Does he know that?”
“He should. I’ve been explicit.” I shrug, realizing that I don’t want to stand here talking with Claire anymore. I want to go to McQueen’s. I want to tell him the truth about my life, so he doesn’t wonder. So he doesn’t end up hating me. So he knows why I’ve chosen to walk away.
“I think you need to explain it again.” Claire bites her lip. “Look, McQueen is one of the best guys I’ve ever known. He’d do anything for his friends. We’re his family. And I don’t want to see him get hurt.”
Her words hit me in the gut, and not much floors me. But God. “I don’t want to him to get hurt either. I know how great he is.” I call for Hardy, wanting to get him home.