Maybe Someday(7)

“I don’t care if she moves in. The worst thing that could happen would be for you to cheat on me. Then I’d have to break up with you, then your heart would shatter, and we’d both be miserable for life, and you would be so depressed you’d never be able to get it up again. So make sure if you do cheat, it’s the best sex you ever have, because it’ll also be the last sex you ever have.”

She doesn’t have to worry about me cheating on her, but the scenario she painted was enough to ensure that I don’t even look at Bridgette in her uniform.

How in the hell did my thoughts wander this far?

This is why I’m having writer’s block; I can’t seem to focus on anything important lately. I go back to my room to transfer the lyrics Sydney sent onto paper, and I begin to work out how to add them to the music. I want to text Sydney to tell her what I think about them, but I don’t. I should leave her hanging a little while longer. I know how nerve-racking it is to send someone a piece of yourself and then have to sit back and wait for it to be judged. If I make her wait long enough, maybe once I tell her how brilliant she is, she’ll have developed a craving to send me more.

It might be a little cruel, but she has no idea how much I need her. Now that I’m pretty sure I’ve found my muse, I have to work it just right so she doesn’t slip away.





3.


Sydney

If he hated them, the least he could have done was send a thank you. I know it shouldn’t bother me, but it does. Especially because I never wanted to send them to him in the first place. I wasn’t expecting him to praise me, but the fact that he begged so hard for them and then just ignored them sort of irritates me.

And he hasn’t been outside at his usual time in almost a week. I’ve wanted to text him about it so many times, but if I do, then it’ll seem as if I care what he thinks of the lyrics. I don’t want to care. But I can tell by how disappointed I feel that I do care. I hate that I want him to like my lyrics. But the thought of actually having a hand in a song is a little bit exciting.

“Food should be here in a little while. I’m going to get the clothes out of the dryer,” Tori says. She opens the front door, and I perk up on the couch when I hear the familiar sound of the guitar from outside. She closes the door behind her, and as much as I want to ignore it, I rush to my room and quietly slide out onto the patio, books in hand. If I sink far enough into my chair, he might not notice I’m out here.

But he’s looking straight at my balcony when I step outside. He doesn’t acknowledge me with a smile or even a nod of his head when I take my seat. He just continues playing, and it makes me curious to see if he’s just going to pretend our conversation last week never happened. I sort of hope so, because I’d like to pretend it never happened.

He plays the familiar songs, and it doesn’t take me long to let go of my embarrassment over the fact that he thought my lyrics were stupid. I tried to warn him.

I finish up my homework while he’s still playing, close my books and lean back, and close my eyes. It’s quiet for a minute, and then he begins playing the song I sent him lyrics for. In the middle of the song, the guitar pauses for several seconds, but I refuse to open my eyes. He continues playing just as my phone vibrates with an incoming text..

Ridge: You’re not singing.

I glance at him, and he’s staring at me with a grin. He looks back down at his guitar and watches his hands as he finishes the song. Then he picks up his phone and sends another text.

Ridge: Do you want to know what I thought of the lyrics?

Me: No, I’m pretty positive I know what you thought. It’s been a week since I sent them to you. No worries. I told you they were stupid.

Ridge: Yeah, sorry about the silence. I had to leave town for a few days. Family emergency.

I don’t know if he’s telling the truth, but the fact that he claims he’s been out of town eases my fear that he hasn’t been out on his balcony because of me.

Me: Everything okay?

Ridge: Yep.

Me: Good.

Ridge: I’m only going to say this once, Sydney. Are you ready?

Me: Oh, God. No. I’m turning off my phone.

Ridge: I know where you live.

Me: Fine.

Ridge: You’re incredible. Those lyrics. I can’t even describe to you how perfect they are for the song. How in the hell does that come out of you? And why can’t you see that you need to LET it come out of you? Don’t hold it in. You’re doing the world a huge disservice with your modesty. I know I agreed not to ask you for more, but that was because I really didn’t expect to get what I got from you. I need more. Give me, give me, give me.