His body tensed and he threw his head back. The howl he let loose startled Charma but she opened her eyes to watch his face as he found his own release again. His eyes closed and the sheen of sweat on his big body and his nearly agonized expression were so sexy. Her gaze lowered to his broad shoulders and the fresh, still-bleeding bite wound she’d put on him. Her mark would leave a scar. A smile curved her lips as he stopped moving and tried to recover.
His still-black eyes opened as his chin lowered and their gazes held. “I love you.”
“I love you too. This time I’m not sorry.”
One of his eyebrows arched in question.
“For marking you.”
He grinned. “Honey, you can bite me any time.” A chuckle escaped. “On my shoulder. You’re not getting near my dick with those fangs. I’d be no good to either of us until I heal if you accidently bite me there.”
“Too true.”
“You had no idea you were going into heat? Did you stop keeping track of that stuff?”
“It wasn’t supposed to happen. I think my emotions and being near you kind of sent me into it. I’ve heard of it happening when mates are separated for a long time but only with long-term matings. It also might be your pheromones. You smell incredible when you’re in heat.”
“I always said you were my mate but we just hadn’t cemented the deal by sharing bites during sex.” His smile faded. “You felt the same way.”
“I did,” she admitted.
“I want to kill something when I think of all the years we lost.”
Sadness gripped her hard and she squeezed his fingers, still laced with hers. “We’ve got a lot of years to look forward to.”
“I’m never letting you go.”
“Don’t.”
“I won’t.” He smiled. “When were you due to go into heat?”
Charma hesitated. “I don’t. I mean, I haven’t in a really long time.”
Brand’s smile faded as confusion set in. “I don’t understand. Are you saying that you don’t go into heat anymore, ever?”
“I really don’t think you want to have this discussion right now.”
“I do.” He adjusted his body to keep her pinned. “I know you took pills to prevent the heat but you’re far too young to have stopped naturally.”
She was afraid to hurt him by mentioning Garrett. She gave him the short version, hoping it would be enough. “I had to keep taking the pills all the time and it seemed to send me into menopause.”
“You only ever took them when you started going into heat.”
She hesitated but knew Brand wasn’t going to let it go. “Let’s skip this.”
A muscle in his jaw jerked and his eyes narrowed. “Talk to me, damn it. Is this something to do with that asshole you were forced to be with?”
She nodded sharply. “I don’t want to talk about him ever again.”
“What are you not telling me? You said you’d never lie to me, hon.”
“I don’t want you to get angry.”
“Tell me because whatever I’ll imagine has to be worse.”
She studied his eyes. “I doubt it.”
“Damn it, Charma. Tell me.”
It was a direct order from her mate. She knew the tone, although with Brand it wasn’t harsh or implied he’d inflict pain if she disobeyed his demand. “I just didn’t want to ruin the moment by answering. It doesn’t matter anymore. I’m off the pills and obviously I can go into heat.”
“You’re stalling.”
She took a deep breath and prepared for his rage. It wouldn’t be directed at her but she hated to expose him to all the horrors she’d been through. “Okay. I told you I took the pills to avoid going into heat and getting pregnant when I was with Garrett.”
“Yeah.” His fingers caressed hers.
“He got angry when I didn’t go into heat. I never wanted to be with him. I couldn’t stand him touching me and the thought of…” She closed her eyes. “You know how I get. I couldn’t stomach knowing I’d…” She stopped talking, unable to say it to the man she loved.
“Shit.” He sounded unhappy. “You’d have accepted him if you were in heat. Welcomed his touch.”
She nodded.
“Look at me, hon.”
Her eyes opened and she met his gaze.
“It’s the bad part of being a shifter. When nature calls, she’s one mean bitch in that regard.”
Tears slipped out though she tried to hold them back. “I would have begged to be touched if the heat got hold of me and I hated him. The thought of being that vulnerable and needy around him sickened me.”