Her smile faded. “Don’t. If you didn’t notice, I enjoyed that a lot.”
“I just screwed you when I should have taken my time and met more of your needs instead of just my own.”
“They were met.” She wiggled her ass and tried to move out from under him.
Regretfully, he lifted up, allowing her to go. “I just missed you and hadn’t planned to be gone so long.” It was a lousy excuse but it was the truth.
She rolled over and sat, peering steadfastly into his eyes. “I like it when you get down and dirty sometimes.”
His chest tightened and he knew it was caused by the unbounded love he felt for her. “Is that what you called that?”
She laughed and pointed a finger at her lap. “You went down and then when you were going at me, you were saying dirty words.”
He leaned forward and she flattened on the bed to allow him to come down on top of her. He was careful to distribute his weight so she could breathe easily and continue to catch her breath. “I love you, Charma.”
She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed his lips with a brush of her own. “I love you too.”
“I just worry that I’m going to screw this up somehow. I can’t take coming home to an empty house a second time.”
“You know I didn’t leave because of anything you did. You can’t get rid of me now. I’m here to stay.”
He prayed that was true. “The only reason I survived when you disappeared was because my family kept pulling my ass out of bad situations. I turned self-destructive. You know how I mentioned that I figured out I loved remodeling? I went into rages sometimes and nearly destroyed this place. I had to fix it at some point. That’s when I discovered I enjoyed the work.”
Her fingertips slid into his hair and she clenched her fingers, getting a firm enough hold that it stung his scalp. “Listen to me. It wasn’t your fault.”
“We fought that morning and I shouldn’t have stormed out. I just left you when I should have stayed to work it out. I’ve kicked my own ass over that decision a million times. I drove you to leave.”
“People argue, Brand. Just because you love someone doesn’t mean you have to agree on everything. It ripped me to shreds when I packed my bag and drove away. It had nothing to do with you going for a run. That was your way of cooling off and I’ve always understood that. I just realized how much us not being mated was tearing us apart. I wouldn’t have been able keep saying no if we’d had more time together but I couldn’t live with knowing what it would cost my family. I’m the one who is sorry. I should have told you everything but I was too afraid.”
“Why?”
She chewed on her bottom lip and he remembered what that meant.
“Spit it out, hon. I hate when you think something but won’t share it with me. That’s part of the reason you just said you left me. Tell me.”
She released her lip and sighed. “You tended to be rash back then. I was terrified you’d make death threats to my pride leader, trying to protect my family from his wrath. I could see you doing that.”
“It might have worked.”
“You would have been killed, Brand. Percy is a dick and would have killed my family out of spite just because you threatened him. He’d have ordered my people to attack you. One wolf against an entire pride is suicide.”
“I would have called him out if that were the case. I’d have issued a challenge.”
“You’re assuming Percy has honor. He has none. He rules through fear and intimidation. You would have been facing down every enforcer while he sat on his lazy ass watching them tear you apart. He’d never have taken you on by himself. He and his son have that in common. They always have others do the dirty work.”
Questions filled Brand’s head, ones he wasn’t sure he wanted answers to, but he had to know. “Did that son of a bitch you mated ever allow anyone else to hurt you, Charma?”
“No. He did that himself. I was weaker and not a threat. He didn’t hit me as much as you might assume. We avoided each other most of the time.”
He silently swore to hunt the bastard down and kill him after the mating heat passed. He’d seen the bruises on her. It never should have happened. The prick would pay dearly for daring to lay an abusive hand on his Charma.
“I wasn’t implying Garrett had others hurt me. I was thinking about what he’d have done to you if you’d shown up in our pride lands. Percy would have had you killed but Garrett would have made sure you suffered first, Brand. He would have taken it out on you that I’d allowed someone else to touch me.”