He growled low and deep—his angry growl. She bit her lip and watched his tense, naked body. Dread filled her. Was this where he called it all off? Was he going to tell her goodbye now? He’d marked her. If she understood it correctly, he needed her during mating season now that he’d marked her. No one would have worried about Grady hunting her down if she left unless there was a reason that Grady wouldn’t be 77
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able to not hunt for her. If it were that simple he would have shipped her off himself.
He couldn’t get rid of her while he needed her, could he?
“I think you aren’t safe with me. I thought I could control myself but I can’t.” She let out the breath she’d been holding. He wasn’t telling her to go home and he wasn’t leaving. “I’m fine. We’re fine. You didn’t hurt me. I’m sore but I was before. We can do other things for a day while I heal up.”
Grady spun and snarled. He flashed his teeth and his black eyes narrowed. “You don’t understand. I lost control. I started shifting inside you, damn it, like you were a werewolf. You aren’t. I fucked you hard, as though you were built to take it, and you aren’t. You don’t heal fast the way I do. I could have torn you up inside. I could have fully shifted and not stopped fucking you. Do you understand that? Do you have a hidden kink for bestiality, babe? How much would you have hated me right now if that had happened?”
“But it didn’t.”
“Do you know when wolves are in mating season that we can go for hours? If you were a werewolf I would take you, come, stay inside you, and keep taking you over and over until I collapsed. In skin and in fur. I’m very dominant as an alpha-blooded male.
If you were a werewolf then my shifting would have forced you to shift with me. We would have shifted from skin to fur together and kept right on going. I lost control and it wasn’t until I realized you weren’t shifting with me that I snapped out of it long enough to get the hell away from you. I’d already started shifting and I couldn’t stop.” Swallowing, Mika kept her gaze locked with his. “It’s all right, Grady. I’m all right.
You realized, you got control, and you didn’t hurt me. I’m fine, so calm down.” He shook his head and spun away from her to present her with his back again. “I can’t. I wish to God I hadn’t had to mark you. I can fuck other women if I have to but I know you’re carrying my mark. My inner beast wants you. My animal side won’t be satisfied unless it’s you I’m with. It would mean fucking someone but not coming if I try to mount other women until my mark wears off you.” He moved and punched the wall. A hole opened in the plaster under the assault of his fist. “Damn it!” Pain sliced through Mika at the thought of him with other women. “It’s a good thing then that you promised me to be loyal until the mark wears off so you won’t have to worry about other women and what would happen if you tried to have sex with someone else.”He kept his back to her. “I’m putting you in danger. If I thought mounting other women would protect you, I’d walk out now to go find one. I know I’d end up going insane if I couldn’t have you. I know you’re marked as mine and I’d hunt you down when I lost my mind from my need to be inside you. I hate mating season. This is so screwed up. I used to love this time of the year. It meant hot sex, plenty of it, with women throwing themselves at me. Now I’m terrified I’m going to end up killing you and because I marked you, other women aren’t a viable option.” 78
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Shoulders hunched, she curled into a ball sitting up. The anger and regret in Grady’s voice hurt. He really hated the fact that he was stuck with her through his mating season. He wanted to be with another werewolf. She’d thought he might change his mind at some point and be happy he was with her but he hadn’t. If anything he was even more set on it being a mistake after spending time with her.
“Please shower,” he said softly. “I’m getting hard again and you smell like me and sex. Clean yourself well. I need to get some air. I’ll call someone to watch the house while I’m gone. Don’t leave. I can’t touch you anymore without condoms. The stronger you smell of me the harder it is for me to maintain control.” She watched him storm for her bedroom door. “Grady?” He stopped at the door but he didn’t turn to look at her. “What?”
“Are you going to go be with someone else? Please be honest with me.” He shook his head. “It wouldn’t do any good. My body only wants you, Mika.
We’re both damned until this is over. I just need some air to clear my head and I should stop at the bar to check on things. I also need to grab more clothes while I’m there. I won’t be gone long, I can’t be gone long, or my need for you will start to hurt me if I don’t…touch…you again soon.”
She watched him leave her room as he moved down the hallway to the guestroom and the other bathroom. She got up from the bed and limped slightly as she walked to her bathroom. She heard Grady talking from the other room. He’d said he was going to call someone to guard her and obviously was doing that now. She softly shut her bathroom door and started the shower.
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Chapter Nine
Mika took an instant dislike to Eric Voigt. He watched her silently as she sat on her couch trying to pay attention to the television. He looked at her as though she were a bug under a microscope. The man was a blond surfer-looking type with tan skin and a swimmer’s built. He was good looking but he made her feel uncomfortable. The six-foot-tall man had arrived minutes after Grady had left her house. This was the man who Grady had called to babysit her.
She turned her head and met his pale blue gaze. “Do you have to stare? I can feel it.
Do you want the remote control? I’m sure there’s something more interesting to watch on the TV.”
He didn’t look away from her. “I’m just thinking. I didn’t mean to wig you out.”
“I’m not wigged. I’m just getting uncomfortable with the whole intense staring thing.”
“I apologize. I’m just very intrigued by you. Omar kept you a secret from most of us because I didn’t even know he had a niece until recently. From what I heard, Omar threatened death to any man who touched you. Now I’m sitting here wondering how long Grady has to live since you reek of him. Omar is going to kill him, isn’t he?” She looked away and glanced at the commercial on TV. “Uncle Omar is aware that Grady and I are sleeping together and Grady is perfectly safe. Beyond that I don’t want to talk about it.”
He tilted his head, still staring at her. “Grady isn’t into human chicks. He avoids them unless it’s an occasional one-night stand. You’re obviously more than that. He marked you well from the strong scent you carry.”
“Ask Grady your questions.” She stood up. “I’ll be in my room taking a nap. Make yourself at home. There are snacks in the kitchen if you get hungry. Grady said he wasn’t going to be gone long.”
She walked into her room and shut the door. The guy was as nosy as hell and she really didn’t want to hear more about how she wasn’t Grady’s type. It stung enough when she got that from Grady.
She lay back on her bed, peering up at the popcorn ceiling of her old house. How she could fall so hard and fast for a guy amazed her but Grady wasn’t like any other man she’d ever met. He wasn’t even really a man.
She turned her head and looked at the phone, tempted to call Minnie and have a girl talk. She didn’t reach for the phone though, knowing Minnie would just worry about her and she didn’t want that. She was doing enough of that on her own.
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She heard the front door slam a while later and sat up. She heard soft male voices but she couldn’t make out the words. A good ten minutes passed and then she heard the front door slam again. She watched the bedroom door open and Grady paused in the doorway. He looked good in the faded jeans and blue tank top. He had his kick-ass boots on and his hair was down. His dark eyes studied her.
“How are you feeling?”
“I’m fine. How are you feeling? Did getting some air help?” He hesitated and then nodded. “I just needed to think.” She figured, by the tone of his voice, that nothing he’d been considering boded well for their fragile relationship. She just waited, figuring he’d tell her about whatever had put that tension in his voice. She scooted to the edge of the bed.
“I still don’t trust myself with you.”
“You’re not going to hurt me, Grady. I trust you even if you don’t trust yourself.” He took a deep breath. “I came up with a solution.” She had a bad feeling. “Why do I get the feeling that I’m not going to agree with what you’re about to say? Are you leaving? Are you moving out?”
“I can’t do that. I’d want you and I’d go nuts if I couldn’t have you until I’m out of heat.”
She knew it was pathetic that relief flooded through her. She wasn’t ready to say goodbye to Grady. She knew her time with him was limited but she was unprepared to lose him so soon. She hugged her chest and silently stared at him, waiting for him to talk.“We’re not mated.”