But Will had never been the kind who could keep his heart out of it.
"And the three-" Pepper started.
"You know it, sweet pea," Mikey said.
"Ain't never proved that one," Will said.
"What?" Natalie leaned across Lindsey. "The three what?"
"Mikey's a total dog," Pepper whispered loudly.
At least four women giggled, and none of them were sitting at the bar.
"Had a dog or two what would take exception to that," Will said.
Everyone laughed, and Will smiled.
It was what they expected, and here, he had to be Billy Brenton.
"Oh! Introductions. Sorry. Billy, you remember CJ and Nat," Pepper said.
"Sure do," Will drawled. "Good to see you again, Mrs. Blue."
"Oh, Billy, the pleasure's all mine," Natalie said.
"You remember Nat's sister, Lindsey?" Pepper continued. "And this is Kimmie Elias."
Kimmie inhaled a loud breath. "I had a dream you were the love child of Bugs Bunny and the abominable snowman, but in my dream that was a good thing, and you lived in a mushroom that had secret passages into outer space," she said.
And here he thought he'd already heard it all. He was working up one of his No need to be nervous, I'm just a guy smiles when Lindsey shifted on Kimmie's other side, her gaze passing him by with a barely noticeable warning look.
"The chocolate outer space, or the one with cupcake moons?" Lindsey asked.
Kimmie settled in her chair, the creases in her forehead fading. "This one had stars that were actually frogs. Weird, right? I like the cupcake moons better."
"Ditto," Pepper said. She smiled at Will and Mikey. "Kimmie made the cupcakes at the wedding last weekend."
"I like cupcakes," Mikey said with a brow-wiggle.
"I can make your face out of fondant and put it on a cupcake," Kimmie replied.
Mikey's jaw slipped. He pulled his cap off and scratched his bald scalp.
And for the first time in ten days, Will found an honest smile. "I'll take two dozen," he said to Kimmie. "Gonna mail 'em to Mikey's momma, show her he finally made something of himself. She'll get 'em bronzed and put 'em in her china cabinet."
"You take us to the best places, Billy," Mikey said.
"It's a gift."
Cinna cruised past and put two more napkins on the bar for Mikey. Par for the course when Will was out with Mikey. Apparently Billy Brenton's drummer was more approachable than Billy himself. Plus, anybody who had ever seen a BillyVision video knew Mikey loved the ladies.
"This'll get old fast," Cinna grumbled.
"He tips good," Will told her. He glanced at Pepper's group. "Y'all meet here every Sunday?"
"We have Knot Fest committee meetings most Sunday nights," Pepper said. "We come here to recover."
"Not Fest?" Mikey said. "I like Yes Fest better myself." He winked at another girl at the bar, then gave a slow smile to another sitting with her boyfriend at one of the tables.
"You wanna tone down the dog factor?" Will said.
"We all have our talents, Billy-boy. Gotta use what God gave me."
Cinna slapped one more napkin on the bar. "You need an intervention," she said. She snapped her fingers at Lindsey. "How about you do your good-match/bad-match woo-woo and put us all out of our misery before I spend the rest of the night living out a bad version of The Playboy's Secretary's Secret."
"I liked that book," Natalie said.
"One of Mae Daniels's best," Pepper agreed.
"I'm kinda liking Ava Bee novels more these days," Kimmie said.
"Woo-woo?" Mikey said flatly.
"Ignore her," CJ said. "She has a permanent case of being-a-pain-in-the-ass-itis."
Will took a long drink of his beer. Wasn't anything he could add to the conversation, so he was staying far, far out of it.
"Hey, I watch BillyVision too," Cinna said. "And it's quite obvious Mikey wouldn't be such a manwhore if he found the right woman. And the first step is weeding out the wrong ones. Mikey, dude, you have terrible taste in women."
"I have excellent taste in women," Mikey said. "Every last one of them."
Will should've kept his mouth shut, but this was too easy. "Mikey, you make me look like I got good sense when it comes to the ladies."
"Wouldn't go that far," Mikey said dryly. "But you're right about something else. I tip good. So, Little Red. Tell me more about the good-match/bad-match woo-woo. Not something I've tried before."
That was Mikey's wink-wink voice, but it had an edge Will recognized all too well.
"She's talking about me," Lindsey said. She wasn't the frosty lawyer lady about it, but she wasn't let's-be-best-buds either. "Call it woo-woo if you like, but you can't be a divorce lawyer for a decade without learning a few things about body language and relationships. And I'm terribly sorry to disappoint you, but this woo-woo isn't up for being tried tonight."
"Not even in a professional capacity?" Will said. "Mikey could use the help."
It was like poking a wounded bear, if the bear happened to have a good poker face. Will could feel the tremors of a storm brewing behind that calm demeanor.
Or maybe that storm was all his and he needed to take his hind end out of this bar now.
Mikey was right. Coming here was a bad idea.
Will had a sudden flash of his momma, both fuzzy and clear as day. She was sitting at a scarred oak table in the dim light spilling out from under the sink, cicadas buzzing outside the open window, the stench of something sharp and hard biting his nose while she tilted a thick, dark bottle to her lips and slid an unfocused look at the little boy he'd been. Some of us ain't meant to carry a pretty tune, son. And some of 'em out there will kill our music, and there's nothing we can do about it.
"If your dear friend Mikey needs a divorce before pursuing the girl of his dreams," Lindsey said, "my firm is accepting paying clients at the moment. Otherwise, I hear MisterGoodEnough.com is a wonderful online dating service."
Kimmie made one of those squeaky noises again. Lindsey's sister choked on a laugh. Her brother-in-law, though, inched closer, watching more intently than he should've.
"Don't need online dating," Mikey said. "Or a divorce lawyer."
Will scratched his chin and looked at Lindsey again. "You sure knowing bad matches comes from all those years of splitting couples up? Thought that was you Saffron was talking about, doing all that matchmaking. Doing it right good too, I heard. Unless the pretty bride over there has another sister?"
"I find one's reputation can become irrationally inflated based on the company one keeps," she said.
"Fancy words, ma'am. You ever thought of running for president?"
Yep.
Definitely poking a bear.
Will never did claim to be the smartest guy in the room. Apparently he wasn't much for self-preservation either, because there was fire growing in those flashing eyes of hers. She was tamping it down good, but not good enough to hide the tight lines at the corners of her mouth and the way her nostrils flared.
And danged if that didn't put all that noise between his ears back in tune.
He'd be writing something good tonight. A power ballad. About a breakup. Being better off. Moving on. Something between Carrie Underwood's "Before He Cheats" and Jerrod Niemann's "Lover, Lover."
"Don't look like the matchmaker's up for the job, Billy," Mikey said.
Natalie leaned across Lindsey. "Billy, did I hear you're here for a while? I should warn you, when the BRA president hears, she'll want to host a welcome reception."
Mikey choked on his beer. "The BRA?"
"Can't spell brains without it," Lindsey muttered. "Excuse me." She slid off her stool and left her coat behind.
"Bathroom break. Me too," Kimmie said, and she, too, scurried away.
"The Bridal Retailers Association," Natalie said. She moved into the seat Kimmie had abandoned and gestured to Pepper, who had been quieter than Saffron ever could've been. "It's one of the many organizations we're in that keep Bliss's reputation what it is. Are you guys hungry? The cheese fries here are amazing."
With Lindsey gone, Will had an easier time slapping on his Billy face. "Sounds right good, ma'am."
Heading out, grabbing a drive-through burger, and getting home to Vera sounded better.
"Hey, um, Billy?"
Will twisted to the new voice, coming from a middle-aged woman with a perm that reminded him of Aunt Jessie.
"I know you hear this all the time," she said, "and I don't want to bother you, but I'm your biggest fan ever, and I was wondering-"
"You want a picture?" Will said.
"Oh, yes, please. I promise I won't put it online. Well, not until tomorrow." She giggled like a teenager, and Will smiled at her.
"Mikey. Quit making eyes at that girl and get over here and take a picture for this nice lady."