She could. She could handle Marilyn.
It was the rest of her life she was still sorting out.
But the truth was, much as she cringed at the thought of more family dinners with Marilyn, of the Queen General of Bliss hosting them for Thanksgiving, of having to put up with Kimmie's mother more-telling Dad the truth felt good.
She grabbed Nat's hand. "And you. You and CJ are a fantastically good match too."
"Duh." Nat pulled her in for a hug. "You already said it, even if you didn't."
Across the bar, the girl with the bangs and baggy sweater approached the preppy guy who'd been eyeing her. They shared a tentative smile, and Lindsey smelled a whole field of spring flowers.
Like she'd put her own brand of happiness into the world.
Will would've been proud of her. She clenched her fist to keep from reaching for her phone.
She didn't have the right to call him or text him. She'd walked away. This was her fault. And now she needed to leave him alone to find his own happiness.
It was the hardest thing she'd ever done, and it had involved dodging his phone calls the first half of the week, but it was right.
He had a bigger life, and he deserved to move on to someone who could love him without question. Someone who was an honestly good match for him. Someone who could be his forever without question, who could be as good with Billy as she was with Will, who could fit into all of his worlds, the superstar world and the simple country boy world.
She hoped she hadn't broken him too badly for that.
Because the world would be a better place with a mini-Will or five running around in it.
Lindsey blinked against the stinging and snatched her coat. "I need to go," she said.
"Aw, Lindsey," Nat sighed.
Pepper reached over and squeezed her arm. "I'm sorry. You two looked happy together. Cinna's right. I should've dated him first for you."
Lindsey waved them both off. "I'm beat. You guys have fun." She eyed the mess on the bar and the floor. "After you get cleaned up." She gave Dad a half-hug. "Don't wait so long that Kimmie starts talking about Marilyn channeling her displeasure to swallow The Aisle whole again, but give her a chance to admit she's been wrong. I'll drop by and see you tomorrow." Then she gave Nat a quick hug and a peck on the cheek. "I'm proud of your dresses, Nat. Mom would be too."
"She'd be proud of you too, you know."
"She wouldn't, but that's sweet of you to say."
And knowing she had family and friends who would tell her comforting lies like that was all that would be keeping Lindsey warm tonight.
Chapter Twenty-One
AFTER ONE TOO many glasses of wine after she got home Friday night, Lindsey was up with the sun, headache in full force, and nowhere she had to be.
But staying home-yeah.
Not happening.
Nat and Kimmie were both helping Pepper with the Battle of the Boyfriends all day. So was CJ. So since her favorite nephew needed a grown-up, and Lindsey needed a distraction, she went for a double dose of coffee, her happiest smiley face panties, and packed her s'mores maker into her car.
A while later, she and Noah clomped into Dad's weekend cabin. When Lindsey and Nat had lived at home, the cabin was Dad's weekend retreat away from all the girls. Now that he was retired and widowed, he was out here as often as possible. Lindsey hadn't been in a while, but it was obvious Marilyn had.
There were touches of her everywhere. A KitchenAid mixer on the counter, matching white throw pillows on the couch, wilted daisies in a vase on the mantel. And like last night, Dad was wearing a shade of melancholy that complemented Lindsey's very, very well.
Noah didn't seem to notice, and between Candy Land, s'mores and a snowball fight, they were all almost in a good mood by late afternoon. Noah nodded off between Lindsey and Dad on the couch by the fire. And Lindsey wanted to.
But she couldn't.
"I met Will on spring break my sophomore year," she said quietly.
Dad nodded for her to go on.
And she did.
She told him the whole story, about losing all her friends in college because she told them who should break up with their boyfriends, about the awkwardness of going on spring break with them anyway, about Will slamming into her on the ski slope, about her wanting a friend and finding so much more.
She left out the part about sleeping with him. Let Dad assume whatever he wanted.
She told him about their final night over spring break, how Will had pulled her onstage at the tavern, sung her a song, told her he loved her.
And then about how she broke his heart.
Publicly.
Loudly.
Humiliatingly.
Dad didn't comment, so Lindsey pressed on.
She told him why she switched law specialties-she'd barely gotten through law school with every presentation getting harder to bear instead of easier, every moment of speaking in front of a crowd terrifying her more and more, about choosing to go into family law to correct the wrongs she wasn't brave enough or strong enough to prevent.
Dad sat there, his arm draped across the back of the couch, circling both her and Noah, and he listened. And when she was spent, he nodded once more. "Always knew you didn't want the family business," he said. "Never knew you were working it in your own way anyway. Giving people second chances-that's honorable, hon. Don't even want to think of where Nat would be now if she hadn't gotten out of her first marriage. Haven't always understood how you do it every day, haven't always liked it, but you've got a bigger heart than you know. You take care of Nat and Noah and Kimmie. You came over to Bliss and supported us all in your own way, even before most people accepted what you do. Lot of ways, you're bigger than Bliss. I've always been proud of that. Hope you know it."
"Not always," she whispered. "But thank you."
She dabbed at the corners of her eyes and glanced at the clock. She had to go to get to the Battle of the Boyfriends on time.
And she needed to be there.
Not as a judge. Not to see Will. But to see how it felt to go as herself.
As the woman she'd been born to be, with the gifts she'd been given, Lindsey had to go.
Some of those couples might need encouragement. And that was a skill Lindsey needed to work on, no matter what it ultimately meant for her career as a divorce lawyer.
"You going tonight?" Dad asked.
She nodded. "It's time to see if I can find where I truly fit."
"That what you want?" Dad said.
It wasn't what she'd wanted most of her life. But it was part of who she was, and she'd be happier embracing it than denying it. "I want to put more happy in the world."
"Always have, hon." Dad heaved a Dad-sigh. "And there wouldn't be a song about your underwear floating around the radio if you hadn't."
Lindsey swiped her eyes again, this time over a laugh. She fixed a tray of fruit, cheese, carrots, and crackers for them, then she left Dad with official Noah duties and went to see about her own life duties.
WILL HADN'T ever found his team suffocating before, but all the meetings about the tour and the next album and this problem and that problem and this other problem were enough to make him want to gouge out his eyeballs this past week.
And now he was in Bliss when he wanted to be anywhere but here, lingering backstage with the other judges for the Battle of the Boyfriends. His crew was out in the Bliss Civic Center's theater, capturing footage of the crowd as he'd promised the crazy Bliss lady they would. He had left Wrigley at the hotel with Cassidy, who was wrangling a few business details for him, and then put on his biggest, brightest Billy face to get through tonight. He'd done his own shots with the BillyVision crew, schmoozed with his fellow judges, answered questions for a couple of local reporters.
And now he wanted to get this over with and get gone.
Someone slapped him on the shoulder. "Doing okay, man?" Mikey said quietly.
"Yep."
"How's Jessie?"
"Real good." Will should've been spending his last weekend off in Pickleberry Springs with his family. Truth, though, was that he didn't want to be there any more than he wanted to be here. "Donnie saw a doctor this week who said they caught it early enough. And Mari Belle said Sacha had a vision that Donnie's fixin' to kick cancer's ass, and it won't come back."
"Good sign," Mikey said.
Will shoved his fists into his pockets so he wouldn't be tempted to deck his buddy. Mikey never took Sacha's side, but he hadn't said a bad thing about her since Sacha gave Lindsey a getaway car.
Mikey hitched a shoulder, his casual act almost the right shade of innocent to be convincing. "Sacha's nuts, but she's still good people. Not like it would help right now if she said he was gonna kick the bucket."
Will grunted.
Mikey tilted a look at him, then heaved an admirable impression of a Mari Belle sigh. "Gotta hand it to you, buckaroo. Doin' better this time than you did the last time she did you in. Still here. Still walking, talking, and getting shit done."
Will clenched his jaw so hard his teeth should've cracked. He didn't give a damn about getting shit done. He wanted-