Matched(39)

"I loved you." His voice came soft, lyrical, sad. Neither of them had ventured into L-word territory, and hearing it from his lips put a pang in Lindsey's chest. "I loved the way you smiled at me, the way you threw yourself into life, the way you knew what you wanted. The way you kept going and trying and smiling even when your friends were snubbing you. I didn't have much direction then, but you made me want it. Made me want to be somebody, so the next time we met, you couldn't tell me I was just some bubba."

"I was so wrong, Will."

"I hid away for a few weeks, writing songs." His words were getting softer, sadder. "Aunt Jessie made me eat. Mari Belle called from school four times a day, even if I didn't talk to her. Sacha kept telling me she was having visions that I'd have a good life, that I'd get what I needed, that I was perfect the way I was. Mikey tried to help me write some songs, but I was crazy. Knew what I wanted to say, didn't want anybody else to help."

"I'm sorry," she whispered. It was woefully inadequate, but it was what she had.

He ducked his head. "That first week after, I knew what my momma was feeling, being so crazy wrapped up in someone. Won't lie-I had some moments of feeling like my life was over. But the more I wrote, the better I felt. Still couldn't stop writing though. Needed to write. Needed to play. Needed to believe in myself the way I thought you did for those few days."

She didn't know if her shivers were coming from hurting him or from the cold, but she couldn't stop. And she didn't want to go inside. She didn't want to be warm.

She wanted to be right again. Whole. Not sorry anymore.

"Wasn't all you," he said. "I let 'em think it was, some days because I missed you, some days because I hated you, but some of it was me looking for where I fit. Killing the doubts. Aunt Jessie, Mari Belle, they didn't want me to go after my dreams. They didn't want me disappointed when I didn't make it."                       
       
           



       

"You were all alone."

"I wasn't, but I was. They loved me. But they didn't know how to make me feel invincible. Not like you did. Sacha told me to go for it, but even when she had her visions, I didn't believe her the way I believed you. She didn't say anything about my dreams until after you did."

"Will, we had less than a week-"

"Lightning strikes in a millisecond, changes the world forever."

No. People didn't change other people like that. They couldn't. "How long did you write?"

He rubbed a hand through his hair, then down his whiskers. "A month. Maybe longer. One day, I ran out of songs to write. Guess I used up everything I had bottled up all my life. So I went back out in the world, found songs in more places, about more things. Kept building that catalog like you told me to. Told Mikey I was going to Nashville. They all thought I'd lost my mind. They didn't see me like you saw me. Back home, in school, I was always Mari Belle's dumb kid brother, not a guy who could be somebody. I kinda thought I'd lost my mind too, but you-you saw me different. You showed me that I could see me different. I held on to that. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I always hoped you still believed in me too."

"I used to wonder if you were selling tires or still sweeping floors."

"My two backup plans," he said.

It should've been funny, but it wasn't. "I didn't know you made it until you walked into Nat's wedding. I felt like such a fool. And now, Mari Belle, Mikey, your aunt-they're right, Will. You should walk away."

His steady gaze didn't waver. "Why?"

"Because you built this. This big life, the dreams, the superstardom. You did. This is yours, and you need to keep it. I always thought you'd still be in Pickleberry Springs, raising a bunch of kids with a sweet woman who liked to listen to you play with your band at the local hole-in-the-wall."

"Wouldn't have been a bad life."

"But you are Billy Brenton. You can say you're a simple country boy with a guitar, but that's what makes you a superstar. You. All of you. You're a gift to the world, and I can't be a part of that world."

He tugged at his shirt, a familiar gesture she'd come to understand meant he was reaching for his guitar. "Why?"

"Because I'm a mess. Because you make me a mess. And you have too many people who need you for me to make you a mess again." She pointed between them. "We're toxic, Will. We screw with each other's heads, we-"

"I wrote Hitched about you. Not just ‘Snow Angel Smiles.' The whole album. It went platinum in a month. Set all kinds of records. Won some big awards. It's been out a year, and I still get over a hundred emails a week from people who say one song or another on it touched their life. That ain't toxic, Lindsey. That's goodness out in the world."

That wasn't her. It wasn't them. "It's been years-"

"And you stuck." He tapped his heart. "You stuck here. For years."

"That was you. Your songs. Not my influence. It's all you."

"It was you." He pulled out his wallet and shuffled through it, then held out a folded paper. "You know why I went to Nashville?"

She eyed his offering then took and gingerly opened it. The creases were so worn, the paper so soft, the ink so faded, the words inside were barely legible.

"Step one," he said. "Write a bunch of great songs."

Her breath caught.

"Step two," he continued. "Take them to Nashville. Clean toilets until someone recognizes your genius."

"You kept this?" she whispered.

"Step three." His hands settled at her waist. "Show them you can play and sing too."

"Step four, take over the world." She dropped her head to his shoulder, still clutching the paper.

"You drove me to Nashville," he said into her hair. "Without you, Billy Brenton wouldn't exist. You did that. You were my inspiration. Still are. After Hitched, I couldn't write. Here, I can't stop."

"It's not me."

"It's you. It's always been you." His scruffy cheek brushed hers. "Come inside," he murmured, his breath hot on her ear. "Let me show you."

She clutched him and buried her nose in his neck. I love you. She always had. Stay. Forever.

Here.

With her.

"Will, I can not give you more than another thirteen days. I shouldn't even give you thirteen more minutes."                       
       
           



       

"Deal's a deal, lawyer lady. And since you're dumping me again, I have to get a lifetime's worth of songs out of the next thirteen days."

"Will-"

"Aunt Jessie, Mari Belle, Mikey, they're all wrong. You didn't break me. You showed me who I am. Who I could be." He brushed a thumb over her cheek. Snowflakes settled in his lashes and his whiskers. "About time I return that favor."

And like that, she surrendered. "Okay," she whispered.

He pulled her inside, then shut and locked the door. He lowered the lights, then lowered her to the sunroom couch, then lowered his mouth to hers, and he loved her.

He loved her like he couldn't live without her. He loved her like he knew her better than she knew herself. He loved her like they truly could have their forever.

And for one night, she let herself indulge in the fantasy too.





WILL HAD TWELVE days to break through Lindsey's barriers, and he didn't plan to waste a single minute.

He knew he'd most likely fail-she had given Wrigley an extra-long hug on her way out the door to work this morning-but he also knew the lady saw something when she looked at him. The same kind of something she saw when she'd looked at Mikey and Dahlia.

He even had a good grip on her objections to him. To them. She didn't like crowded spaces, and his life as Billy was one crowd after another. She liked her privacy, and he lived life in public. She knew his family didn't like her, and she'd had enough of not being liked for one lifetime.

He could solve all of her problems one way or another. Tonight, he was starting on that last one. Suckers wasn't too crowded on a Tuesday night. Sure, there were a few fans asking for autographs and pictures, but not like there had been at first. The town had gotten used to him, and they were pretty darn good at giving him space.

Mikey and Dahlia were with them. His buddy had made up right good with his girl this morning, right there in Lindsey's house while Will had to listen. And he'd heard things he didn't want to in the process, so Will made Mikey promise to come out and give Lindsey a real shot.

And because Dahlia was as good for Mikey as her ice cream was sweet and perfect, when she agreed with Will, big ol' tough Mikey had agreed with a goofy grin on his face.

He was even behaving himself tonight, making a real effort and everything, including Lindsey when he told stories. "Hey, Billy, you remember that time Saffron switched all the toothpaste in the band bus with diaper cream?"

"Oh, gross," Dahlia said.

Lindsey grimaced over her wine.

"Remember all y'all hollering about it." Will remembered discovering the prank the hard way on his own bus too.