No.
No.
"Why is he so fucking cold?" He blurted it because he refused to hear anything else. Even Zoe's new shriek was a relief. Like the bastard he was, he secretly thanked her for it. Anything was better than the silence of Garrett's readings … than the stillness of his friend's body.
No. Not his friend.
His love.
"Moon." Another damn breath he was taking, instead. Another ragged sigh in its wake. Another moment of living on because of what this man had done for him … added to a list that numbered in the thousands. No. To fucking infinity. How was the gift of love quantified? Measured? Marked? It couldn't be.
It could only be symbolized.
With a kiss, soft and pleading. Why are you still so cold?
It could only be shown.
With an embrace, pressing a pounding heart to a still chest. Don't give up.
It could only be whispered.
With words that emanated from places of truth … deep in the soul.
"Come back, damn it. I love you."
Chapter Twenty
‡
Tears blurring her eyes, Brynna reached again for Rhett.
Garrett slid to let her get closer, but on the way, let her see the dismal truth of what he'd found during his brief check of Rebel's vitals. The sorrow in the man's light blue eyes was like an ice pick into her heart. Her vision quivered.
Rhett snatched her in tighter. Tighter. Yanked her so hard, her torso was enveloped between his and Rebel's. The heartbeat against her left ear was a raging tattoo of grief. The heartbeat against her right …
was barely there.
But she squeezed her eyes shut and clung to both the beats … for as long as God would allow.
And clung.
And clung.
Even as the night wind kicked higher. Even as the sirens shrilled nearer. And yes, even as Zoe's screams lengthened. Brynn knew, without even doubting, that Zoe understood why she was here and not over there. Her friend wasn't alone. Zo had both Shay and Tait, helping her ride the contractions that would soon bring a new life to the world.
As Rhett and she said goodbye to another.
The tears thickened, welling from chasms in her so deep, she couldn't fathom the bottom. Maybe they had none. It was certainly possible, given how the sobs followed, stealing breath, draining thought, demanding surrender. She had no choice. She set them all free, gladly offering them as sacrifice to the last mortal moments she'd have with these two beautiful, brave, amazing men. And she told them so, by giving them the most precious gift she could think of.
"Thank you … for everything. For all of it … my Sirs."
God gave her the best reward for it, too. A few more heartbeats. A few more.
Then a sparse rasp from just above her. "You're welcome, little peach."
And then, as if the wind itself brought it, "You're welcome, ma belle minette."
Rhett and she jerked up so sharply, they collided heads. But she knew her lesson now. Pain at the hands of these two was the very best pain of all. "Oh my God." She swiped impatiently at the tears now, despite the jubilant well they overflowed from. Blurred vision wasn't going to do. She needed to see him clearly-to confirm that the reality wasn't just a trick of her mind or a fluke of the wind.
No trick. As she raised up, soot-covered lashes lifted off her pirate's carved, dirt-covered cheeks. But blazing out from the dirt, orbs the color of Caribbean lagoons shined at her then Rhett.
"Oh my fucking God." Rhett's burst embellished her words with brutal, joyful force. A smile shining past his tears, he dropped another kiss directly on Rebel's lips. Immediately after, he jerked his head at Brynn, commanding her to do the same. Rebel's mouth moved eagerly beneath hers, tasting smoky and sweaty-and perfect.
Rhett punctuated off their kiss by landing a punch to Rebel's shoulder. "Shit clot," he growled. "Don't you ever fucking do that again."
Rebel attempted a laugh but had to stop at a parched cough. "Yeah, yeah," he mumbled. "I love you, too."
* * *
Four months later, she replayed that moment in her mind for at least the millionth time. Cherished its warmth in her heart even as she tugged her thick sweater close, battling the chill that seemed a perpetual resident in her bones now. No matter how hard she tried, her body wasn't accepting the message that it was August first in Las Vegas, Nevada.
Just as her heart hadn't accepted that life had to go on without the two men she loved.
She'd stayed in Austin for another week, switching shifts in the hospital with Rhett, making sure that one of them was at Rebel's side through every minute of his recovery. The Cajun had saved his own life by setting enough of a timer on the explosives that he could dive into the bathroom for cover, resulting in a broken arm, a hell of a lot of bruises, and a whopper of a concussion, the main reason why it was necessary for the doctors to hold him for a few days longer.
That extra time was just what the guys had needed. Brynn had looked on, heart swelling, as their connection and devotion to each other grew by the day. When Rebel was finally discharged, Rhett held his hand all the way to the car.
Neither of them were the wiser to how deeply she'd fallen for them.
It was how things had to remain. How things would remain.
They had each other now. They had their team now. She had been nothing more than a pleasant add-on to the package for a while-one Rebel had even fought at first. She could carry no illusions about mattering more than she had, or ever would.
And there was the cloud that wouldn't leave the skies of her world. That rained a chill on her even now, as she enviously watched a bunch of women enter the lobby of The Wynn in their skimpiest cocktail finery. Their Louboutins and Jimmy Choos made luxurious taps on the marble floors; their jewelry looked like wearable stars even in the vestibule's muted lighting. They were on the arms of dashing men in designer suits, laughing with seductive smiles. No doubt, they were all heading out for the massive preview party sponsored by the city's newest high-roller resort, The Nyte. The membership-only hotel was opening soon, and besides the gleaming rise of its tower over the skyline, nobody knew much about what it would offer. Grand opening staff members were only allowed to release one public statement: We'll be the best.
Fleetingly, she wondered if The Nyte would be casting for an in-house show.
Agonizingly, she realized that she didn't care.
She'd just looked through the UNLV courses being offered for September, confirming that if she bit the bullet and attended school full-time, she'd complete her psychology coursework by Christmas. After that, she'd be ready for her internship. She was both invigorated and terrified-a combination of emotions she could've processed better, if she just gave in to her growing craving for a hard spanking-but facing her submissiveness wasn't the same as trusting someone with it. She just wasn't … there … yet.
Who the hell was she kidding?
She'd never be there with anyone but Rhett and Rebel for a very long time. Perhaps not ever. And she was fine with that.
She had to be.
"Brynna."
She pushed down the tears, plastered a smile to her lips, and looked up. As her gaze hit the handsome face of the man who'd invited her to lunch, it stunned her that the smile wasn't as tough to sustain as she thought.
"Well, Dan Colton, as I live and breathe." She teased it while standing to hug the guy she once thought she'd spend forever with. Dan was a hunk in anyone's book, despite the burn scars down his right cheek that also denoted him as a hero. The rest of his face was all chiseled model perfection, topped by delicious Dijon waves that were cut in the latest masculine trend. And damn, could those broad shoulders fill out a designer suit.
"Wow." Her ex stood back and raked an admiring glance over her trendy romper and knee-high boots. "And you're doing the living and breathing thing quite well."
She rolled her eyes. "You're so full of shit. But I guess that's what it takes to be the world's hottest CEO. What's it really like, on the dark side?"
He took a swing at the eye rolling thing. "A lot of work." His tone was heavy with that truth. "But hell, it's never a dull day-and Tess is grateful I'm not running through burning buildings and dodging bullets anymore."
"CIA's loss; Colton Steel's gain." She winked to finish off the jibe, knowing that part of him would always pine a little for his days with the Agency, feeling like he'd made a real difference in the world. One day, he'd hopefully see that creating jobs in a fair, positive atmosphere was an equally awesome way to give back to his world.