No. No. And hell, no.
But as they said in Mother's world, traitors only got one kiss goodbye. Brynn had pressed hers into a note, laid atop a mound of pillows, in a bed she'd left as cold as the ache in her heart. She'd left it there with a prayer, too-a plea that Rhett and Rebel might, by some sliver of possibility, understand that she'd done this for them as much as Zoe. That if she'd stayed, she would have pulled unfair shit on them, begging them to take her to bed again. To open her up again. To lead them on into giving her just one more hit of that amazing shit called submissiveness …
Wasn't going to happen.
She was still in control, damn it. She wasn't like Enya. She sure as hell wasn't like Mom. She wasn't going to run away from her life by giving it over to men, whether they wielded whips or Bibles … or just the power of their kisses and touches. She was going to make something of her life. Make it matter. Make it connected. And yes, that meant making hard decisions. It meant walking out the door, getting in a car, making a good plan and sticking to it-especially when that plan involved saving the friend who meant so damn much to her.
At the moment, it also meant finding a way out of the motel's parking lot.
Though San Jacinto Boulevard was moving again, it was still a snail crawl. The backup into the motel's lot was five cars deep. She pulled out of line, praying this place had a back way out. On the way toward the rear of the property, she maneuvered around a ninja banjo player, as well as a couple who wouldn't stop making out, while urging more details out of El.
"I'm all ears," she told her friend. "Though I'm not sure I want to be."
El whooshed out a breath. "Why do you have to be so smart?"
Her lips quirked. "And why do you always know exactly what I need to hear?"
"What the hell are you talking about?"
"Just … thanks." All the reflection about life, purpose, and friendship made her suddenly mushy. It had nothing to do with having her soul bared as naked as her body less than half a day ago. "Thanks," she repeated with more conviction. "For being you. For being there. Even right now."
El filled the line with a curt pssshh. "You feeling okay?"
She pushed out a quick snort of her own. "So give me the rest. What did the devious duo do?"
Her friend was done scoffing. El's pause could only be described as anxious. "They slipped me an electronic ruffie," she finally mumbled. "At least I'm pretty damn sure they did."
Brynn's hands tightened around the steering wheel-and not just because of the confession. There was no viable back exit to this place, except fifty yards of off-road action over really chunky terrain, followed by a hop off a sizable curb. Some drivers in four-wheel-drives were tackling it with no problem. She was in a rental SUV. Damn it.
"What happened?" She swung the car back toward the front of the motel.
El expelled another breath. "Well, as you warned me, they got on the comm line as soon as they figured out you were gone. That was … about half an hour ago."
"Half an hour?"
El's whimper carried an implied apology. "Soooo, you still glad I'm here? Maybe a little?"
"Of course," she reassured. "I just don't get why you waited so long to call after that."
"I didn't."
"Huh?"
"Remember that roofie I mentioned?"
She nudged the car back into the exit line. Drummed an impatient hand on the wheel. Not only was the queue now eight cars long; something about El's account wove an additional thread of anxiety through her gut. Suddenly, getting out of here felt more important than ever.
"I just got off the line with them, Brynn. It was only then that they weren't firing questions at me so fast, making it impossible for me to think of anything but answering them, that I could chill enough to focus on their side of the exchange-and the sounds I heard during it."
Another schism of tension shot through Brynn's belly. "What kinds of questions?"
"Don't you want to know about the sounds?"
"The questions first. What did they ask you?"
El growled again. Brynn almost didn't hear it. The sound was her thing, like her personal stress ball. "Well first, they wanted to know if you normally pull shit like this."
"And you said what?"
"Aside from telling them it was a lame question?" El's snort was so rough, it sounded like she sat on the phone instead. "Do you normally pull shit like this? Are they serious? What the hell about this situation is normal for any of us?"
Strangely, Brynn smiled. Sounded like the guys were in ogre mode, which conveyed one clear truth. The bigger they puffed up the ogres, the deeper they actually cared. Warmth tickled her veins. It felt … nice. Damn nice. She'd inspired ogre status. And God, how she wanted to just dive back under their bridge with them now …
No more ogres. No more bridges. Focus on getting Zo, then getting back to what your life is meant to be. Predictable. Settled. Safe.
"What did they ask about after that?"
El's sigh was a verbalized shrug. "They were all over the place. They made no pretenses about not being on to what your plan is, so I didn't, either. They wanted to know all the logistical stuff, like if they had to step in and save you, what was going to be relevant."
"If they have to step in-" She sliced out a cynical snicker. "Guess they still don't realize that I've been saving myself for quite a while now."
There was a pause equivalent to an eye roll. "Testosterone. Isn't it a wonderful thing?"
Brynn winced. This morning, it had been a damn wonderful thing.
No more ogres. No more bridges.
She forced neutrality back to her tone. "Just tell me what else they said."
"Let's see … first, they asked if you could run in those heels if you had to. Also wanted to know if you planned on taking your phone with you, and if you're carrying."
"Carrying what?" Only after El's burst of a laugh did that one click. "Like a gun? Are they crazy?"
No. They were soldiers-who were thinking like soldiers.
Which meant they might know a few things more than she about how to do all this undercover/subterfuge/charm-the-bad-guy shit.
Which also meant they might have been making an intelligent point about waiting to make another move on this thing-
Which meant Zoe would be in that madman's captivity even longer.
Not an option.
Sometimes, the most dangerous decision just had to be the right one.
She pushed on the gas, edging the car forward. Seven more cars between her and the highway.
"Then they asked a bunch of questions about Zoe and the pregnancy," El went on. "Like exactly how far along she is, whether there have been complications, what doctor's orders she's on, how her overall health is."
"Understood." Six more cars now. "So they're going straight to the Verge building."
"As the soldier boys would say," El responded, "roger that."
She could mark that part down in ink. She just couldn't fathom what their plan possibly was. They'd been adamant about waiting for nightfall to go back, though her move had forced them into a new strategy: a twist they were not be fond of, if her gut was telling her true. She could feel their displeasure as if they'd made it into a fifty-mile-long lasso and already cinched it around her neck. Regardless of the choices they granted her during sex, Rhett and Rebel been damn clear about who called the shots on the mission plans.
But damn it, their caution had come at a cost. They'd avoided one of the most obvious assets they had-her-and for what? She'd volunteered to come here with them so she could be of more use than gawking at a computer monitor for three days! No way in hell was she buying any lines about their "protective instincts" bubbling to the surface, either. Maybe, maybe, it would have floated as a viable-if thin-excuse after what they'd shared this morning, but it bought them no allowances for the two days before now.
The inner throw-down couldn't have been better timed. Her shoulders straightened and her jaw firmed. "That'll have to be fine then, won't it?" she rejoined to El. "It's a free country. Those men can go wherever they want, the same way I can." Four more cars. Three. She was almost out of here and the guys hadn't even hit the interchange to 71, just outside Marble Falls. "I'll simply have to beat them to the party. If the cake's gone by the time they get there, it's not my fault."