She couldn't see Ra'id when she reached the edge of the oasis, so she dropped her clothes and plunged naked into the water. The sudden chill on her overheated skin was like a healing balm, and as she powered into her first stroke she felt her cares float away. Everyone needed time out, Antonia reflected, rolling onto her back so she could stare up at the lantern moon. This precious time in the desert had been a welcome reminder that she could make a difference if she tried.
She would make a difference, Antonia determined, idly swishing her hands in the water to keep her afloat. Turning towards Ra'id's beautiful pavilion, she started swimming towards it. This was a scene that belonged in one of her fantasies, but if it had been she could have engineered a happy ending rather than this travesty: Ra'id and Antonia trapped in the middle of a drama of their own making, a drama that should have ended well before they made love …
But thank goodness it hadn't ended, Antonia reflected, caressing the still-flat planes of her stomach as she waded out of the water.
He watched Antonia until she was safely out of the water and dressed again, and then, without her seeing him, he returned to the campfire he had lit earlier. Should he show her what he had found in her mother's room? Was she ready for it, or had she suffered enough emotional upheaval for one day? Would it be better to throw it on the fire? While Antonia had been scooping something off the floor, he'd been too-something that had dropped off her mother's dressing table, another pathetic, hand-scribbled note.
'Ra'id!'Antonia exclaimed, drying her hair with a towel he'd laid out ready for her. 'You're cooking fish again.'
'In anticipation that you will fillet it for me again.'
'I might,' she said, her lips curving at the memory, though she hunkered down a good distance away from him. 'Of course I will!' she exclaimed now, as if some thought had suddenly occurred to her. 'If you promise I can have that water.'
'A filleted fish in exchange for my precious water-supply? Do you think I'm mad?' He might as well have added 'Do you never give up?' But he knew the answer to that already.
'Shake on it?' she said boldly.
He looked at the tiny hand stretched out to him, and just in time remembered how the desert affected him. It was another magical setting, where they could be anyone they wanted to be while they were here-the only difference now was they both knew there were consequences to embracing that freedom.
'You're smiling,' she said as he ate the morsels of fish she had prepared.
'Am I?' He frowned.
'What's wrong, Ra'id?'
He wasn't about to share his thoughts with her. He had concluded that the enemy to duty wasn't self-indulgence, but love. He wasn't sure he had the weapons to fight that enemy off. 'Why don't we have a swim?' he said, badly in need of a change of scene.
'It's too soon,' she cautioned him.
'Then we can stroll round the oasis, and when I judge the time is right I'll throw you in.'
She was off like a hare from the traps. 'Not if I see you first,' she called back to him, laughing.
They didn't make it to the water. The restrictions of the real world had been lifted again and nothing stood in their way. She was young, seductive and he wanted her.
She was fine until Ra'id brushed against her. He'd kicked sand over the fire and helped her clear everything away. She had identified the thick, nobbly palm-trunk behind which she intended to leave her clothes, and he was at the water's edge when something frightened her, a crawling thing …
A harmless lizard, Ra'id reassured her as it scuttled away.
'Okay, so I'll get used to them,' she said determinedly.
'If you intend staying in the desert, I'd definitely advise it.'
There was humour in Ra'id's voice and warmth in his eyes. She didn't imagine it. She had been hanging on for a sign that he would mellow so they could discuss the future together, and it turned out the desert had cast its spell over him again. In the capital he was the undisputed king, but the wilderness was a leveller that stripped everyone's position in life away. And Ra'id came out of that well …
Very well, Antonia reflected, feeling increasingly aroused as he continued to stare at her. There was so much strength in his dark gaze, so much wisdom and understanding of her needs.
'You're aroused,' he murmured.
'Am I?' she whispered, making it sound like a challenge.
'So aroused, if I touch you you'll come.'
She was too shocked to answer, by which time she was in his arms. He carried her into the pavilion and laid her down on the freshly laundered cushions. She was enveloped in the scent of sandalwood and sunlight as she sank into their scented folds. Moments later she was naked, and so was Ra'id; he had judged her level of arousal perfectly.
'You greedy girl,' he murmured as she abandoned herself to the onslaught of pleasure.
She was whimpering, open-mouthed in surprise that such levels of sensation were possible when he eased her legs over his shoulders. Being back with him was like a miracle, and so was the speed with which he could coax her into readiness again.
'Let me ride you!' she demanded, desperate to feel him deep inside her.
'You set the pace,' Ra'id agreed, settling back on the cushions.
She lowered herself cautiously. Ra'id was huge, and she had to take him in gradual stages. His touch was tantalisingly light on her hips as she sank slowly down. Then he was touching her, delicately, skilfully with one fingertip, and she was moving faster, with more confidence … wildly, and with abandon.
He turned her so fast she had no chance to protest-and why would she, when he was giving her exactly what she needed firm and fast?
Ra'id climaxed violently with her, and they clung to each other for minutes that turned into drowsy hours; two people, so close they were one.
'Do you ever tire?' she asked him a long time later.
'With you?' Ra'id gave her an amused glance. 'Never.'
This time he made love to her tenderly, as if he cherished her above all things. She wouldn't allow herself to believe that, of course. She knew it was some primal instinct at work that prompted a man to feel that way about the mother of his child. If she allowed herself to believe in his feelings for her, Ra'id really would possess the means to break her heart.
But he didn't make it easy for her. Brushing her hair back from her face, he moved slowly and deeply, kissing her eyelids, her lips and her neck, making love as if they had all the time in the world and he rejoiced in that as much as she did.
Dawn was busily brushing away the clouds of night when she woke in his arms. Would she ever become used to Ra'id's strength, or his beautiful body? Antonia wondered, snuggling close, determined to make the most of whatever time they had.
'So, you're awake,' he murmured.
'Just,' she admitted, loath to be the first one to break the spell.
'It can be like this always, Antonia. For you and me.'
'What do you mean?' She turned to look at him.
'We can be together,' Ra'id said, as if that were obvious.
'And the baby?'
'Of course the baby,' he exclaimed softly. 'We would be a family.'
She rested against him, thinking how wonderful that would be-how perfect. But life was never perfect. Ra'id was a king, and whatever plan he had brewing in his head she wanted to hear it before she agreed. 'Tell me more,' she said.
'Not now.' He smiled a slow, sexy smile. 'It will be a surprise.'
When had she learned to be such a pessimist? Antonia wondered, moving away. How much more did she want than this? Coming back to rest her head against Ra'id's naked chest, she inhaled his familiar scent, telling herself that nothing could be more perfect than this. She should be happy. She should be optimistic about the future.
So why wasn't she?
Because this was all an illusion, Antonia admitted; this wasn't right. Or, rather, she wasn't right for this. She wasn't her mother, and she wanted more than to be hidden away-the sheikh's plaything. She wanted a family. She wanted to work. She wanted to make a difference.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
HE SENSED the change in Antonia and knew he would have to work hard to reassure her that his plan for her would work. His father had blanked out a son and had dumped his discarded mistress in the desert, but he would never do that. Freedom was as important to him as it was to Antonia, and was the bedrock of the constitution he had installed in Sinnebar. 'I'm going to take another swim,' he told her, 'While you can have your own private stream to yourself.' She smiled at him as he glanced towards the back of the tent where the luxurious bath-house was situated.
His life was nothing without Antonia's bright flame in it, Ra'id realised as he grabbed a towel and strode away. She consumed his every waking moment and invaded his dreams at night, filling him with hunger for her, as well as the absolute determination to keep her at his side.