Kait said nothing, but she knew that of course it wouldn't. She wanted what Anna had with Robert. She wanted to go out on dates and feel like she was a legitimate part of Jasper's life, not just a place for him to find physical comfort.
"I can still set up that double date you know," Anna suggested brightly. "But you'd need to be quick. Robert's friend is a handsome guy, and he'll get snapped up soon if you don't move on him."
Kait dropped her gaze to her own salad and pushed the plastic container away. She had suddenly lost her appetite. Her blonde hair fell around her shoulders as she chewed her lip and tried to ignore her friend's concerned look.
"I don't like seeing you like this," Anna said softly. "You don't seem happy."
"When I'm with him, I'm so happy," Kait recalled Jasper's last visit with a bittersweet smile. "In his arms, he has the power to make the whole world melt away. And I … I get lost in him. But then when we're apart, it kills me."
"Sounds intense."
"It is!" Kait insisted fervently. "It's almost … too intense. It's either all or nothing, and I kind of want the in between stuff. The cinema trips. The meals out."
"Have you told him how you feel?"
"What do you think?" Kait grumbled. Jasper was hardly easy to approach on matters of the heart. A part of her remained wounded from their encounter at his gym when he'd told her she would always come second to his training.
"Well, maybe you should," Anna coaxed gently. "If you guys are like together for real, he'll hear you out. He'll want you to be happy."
"You think so?"
"Sure."
Kait's phone buzzed noisily on the table between them. Reaching for it, Kait was unable to suppress the smile which pulled at her lips when she saw that the message was from Jasper.
Hey beautiful, can I see you tonight? Xxxx
"Ooh, from lover boy?" Anna asked teasingly.
"Uh huh," Kait bit her lip and looked down at the message. She knew that what Jasper was really asking was if he could come round and ravage her. That was all they ever did. They had intense, passionate sex, and then they returned to their respective lives.
"So?" Anna prompted her friend.
"He's going to come around later," Kait was suddenly blushing like an embarrassed school girl.
"Ooh," Anna mocked with a raise of her pruned eyebrows. "Will he be staying over?"
"No," Kait sighed, already knowing the answer to that question. "He's got a huge fight tomorrow."
"That sounds like an excuse."
"No, it really is a huge fight for him. One that will make or break his career."
"You sound convinced."
"I am," Kait nodded furiously.
"Then why are you so upset about being a booty call if you've already made peace with it?"
"I'm not a booty call," Kait ground her teeth and put the phone back down. "I'm his girlfriend."
"So are you going to watch this big fight?"
Kait fumbled for a response. Jasper had yet to invite her to come and watch his latest big match, but surely that's what a girlfriend would do? Go along to support her man?
"My advice for what it's worth is surprise him at the fight. Turn up to support him. If he's pleased you're there, you're his girlfriend. If he's angry you turned up, you're his booty call."
Kait absorbed her friend's suggestion, knowing that deep down Anna was right. She was just terrified that if she turned up at the fight Jasper would only be mad at her which would confirm all her fears about them as a couple.
Chapter 52
"So, are you feeling ready?" Carl asked, his voice fringed with concern. Jasper leaned forward, resting his elbows upon his knees. They were in the changing room at the venue for his next fight, and he could already hear the distant chanting of the eager crowd.
Jasper tensed the muscles in his arms. He certainly hoped he was ready. But despite all the hours he'd put in at the gym, each time he walked, he felt sharp stabbing pains in his one knee. Back at his apartment he'd topped himself up with pain medication, but he doubted it would be enough to numb himself for the duration of the fight.
"You have to win this," Carl warned, growing pale when Jasper failed to respond to him. "I made it very clear how important this fight is."
"Yes," Jasper looked up at his agent, annoyed. "You've made it clear, Carl. I get it. Trust me."
"Let's just hope all these extra hours you've put in at the gym have been worth it."
"Tell me about it," Jasper agreed. He felt like he was constantly on the verge of exhaustion. He didn't spring out of bed after a day of excessive training the way he used to when he was younger. What if he was just too old to fight? He couldn't think like that. With a brisk shake of his head, he banished the negative thought to the back of his mind.
"Just go out there and give this guy hell," Carl offered encouragingly.
"I intend to."
Jasper remained sat rigidly on the sofa of his changing room. This was the time when he needed to focus, to descend down a black hole of thought focusing only on the pin prick of light at the end. He had to visualize winning, convince himself that he'd already won. He took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, expecting to hear the thunder of applause in his ears, but instead he heard Kait gasp in pleasure. He was thinking about her again. He clenched his hands tightly together as they had started to shake. Why was he thinking about her now? His mind needed to be clear. He needed to be focused.
Carl had already left, aware of Jasper's pre-fight ritual and needed for solitude before he entered the ring. Only Jasper wasn't currently alone; Kait was in his mind polluting his every thought. When he tried to imagine throwing a crucial punch, he thought of the way she smelt, of how soft her hair was when he ran it through his fingertips like spun gold.
"Focus," he snarled angrily at himself. But it did no good. Kait was all he could think about. Getting to his feet, he started to anxiously pace about, thinking that some movement might help banish Kait from his mind, but it didn't. With each tense step he took, fresh images of her popped up in his mind's eye.
"No, no, no," Jasper was shaking his head as he walked back and forth. "Focus."
A brisk knock on the door caused him to cease pacing. The door opened, and Carl was standing there, his expression unreadable.
"It's time," he told Jasper.
"Right, yes, let's go," Jasper clapped his hands together and bounced up and down on the spot, trying to fire himself up.
"You've got this," Carl told him as he patted him on the shoulder as the pair of them walked down a corridor towards the arena. The chanting of the crowd made the walls around them eerily tremble. They sounded louder than usual, more riled up. The noise made Jasper even more apprehensive about the fight. Usually he played off the energy of the crowd, but now it was subduing him. He wasn't ready for this.
Already, his knee was causing him to grind his teeth together, and he was merely walking. What would happen when he was maneuvering around the ring or trying to execute a round kick?
"Come on, it's go time!" Carl had to shout to be heard over the roar of the crowd. Jasper could just make out the distant boom of the announcer calling his name. The crowd grew even louder.
Bunching his hands into fists by his side, Jasper took a deep, steading breath, pushed open the double doors before him, and entered the arena.
Chapter 53
The crowd was on their feet when Jasper entered the arena. People were eagerly waving homemade banners at him and screaming his name. Kait also stood up and felt her heart quicken when she saw him striding confidently towards the ring. His head was held high, and his shoulders were pushed back. He looked so handsome yet fierce. She pitied whoever was coming up against him as his opponent. At least she did until they came out.
For a few seconds, the crowd died down so that the announcer could welcome to the ring "Timmy the Terror from Tamworth."
With a name like Timmy, Kait wasn't expecting much, but she was wrong. His name didn't do him justice. He was equal to Jasper in both height and build with a shock of fire red hair atop his head and pale skin adorned with numerous dark tattoos sleeved up both arms.