She placed the frozen package in to the center of the oven and then sauntered over to the living area. She flicked on the television and opened up the menu which showed her where all her recorded programs were saved up, ready to be viewed. The list was dwindling. In her attempt to stop thinking about Jasper, she'd been staying up late binge watching her favorite shows. Her eyes were always rimmed red in the mornings and shrouded in shadow. If anyone at work noticed, they didn't say anything.
Kait was scrolling down the list when there was a dull knock at her front door. Tensing, she put down the remote and cautiously headed towards the door she'd previously come through. She paused for a moment, considering calling out to ask who was there, but she eventually just released the lock and opened the door. Her body froze in shock as she looked and saw Jasper standing in her doorway. He looked tired as he leaned against the wall and regarded her with sad eyes.
"Hey," he greeted her softly. "I hope you don't mind me stopping by."
"Why are you even here?" Kait demanded fiercely before she'd had chance to tone down her indignation.
"Honestly, I don't know," Jasper sighed. "Things got kind of heavy at the gym earlier, and I guess I just wanted to see a friendly face."
Kait scowled. She wasn't looking very friendly these days. But despite her apprehension about his presence, something about what he'd said concerned her.
"What do you mean things got heavy at the gym?"
Jasper gave a sad, stiff laugh. "I passed out. Can you believe that? I even ended up in the hospital."
"Oh my God." Kait cupped a hand over her mouth. A visit to hospital meant that things were serious. This was exactly what she'd feared for Jasper, that he'd eventually take his training too far.
"Come in," she stepped aside so that he could enter her apartment. He nodded in gratitude as he limped passed her, barely able to walk on one of his legs.
"What happened to you?" She asked him as she watched him struggle over to the sofa and collapse upon it.
"I've been wondering the same thing," he said with a wry smile. "One minute I'm the baddest, meanest guy out there, the next I'm on my back at the gym staring up at a load of paramedics."
"Jasper-"
"I needed to see you," he interrupted, his eyes boring into hers. "My life is chaos and brutality, but with you I find some sort of calm."
Kait rubbed at her neck, not knowing how to take the compliment.
"With you I can just be myself," he continued, his voice hoarse. "You don't expect me to be a fighter; you don't push me to always win."
"No," Kait agreed as her heart swelled in her chest. "I always just wanted you for you."
Chapter 43
The next eight hours were a blurred haze of tangled limbs and heavy breaths. Kait crashed against Jasper with the full force of a tidal wave, surprising herself with how desperately she wanted him. His strong arms welcomed her in for an embrace, and his hands hungrily roved her body. They said nothing as there was no need for words. Together they acted out a dance to which they both already knew the steps.
Kait gasped in delight as Jasper threw her down on to her bed, his previous discomfort seemingly forgotten. He made love to her several times as Kait groaned and bit her lip. When they finally parted, they lay back on the pillows breathless, their bodies glistening with sweat.
As her breathing slowed, Kait heard the steady drum of her heartbeat bouncing in her ears. It was almost deafening. Her body still tingled from Jasper's touch. Beside her, she could make out his elongated breaths, but they still had yet to speak.
"Jasper," her voice was hoarse as she said his name as though her vocal chords had weakened due to lack of use.
She felt him shift on the bed to turn towards her. She followed suit and rolled onto her side. Their eyes met, and a jolt of electricity seared through her body.
"I … " She wanted to say something, anything, but as she opened her mouth, words failed her. His visit had been so unexpected, and her mind was still recovering from their passionate reunion .
"Can we just rest for now?" Jasper asked as he raised a hand to run a finger along her arm. She shuddered pleasurably at his touch.
"Sure," Kait registered the dark bags beneath his eyes. He looked exhausted. "Let's just rest," she smiled at him. No sooner had she said the words, Jasper's eyes began to droop and his breathing slowed. In less than five minutes, he was fast asleep. For a moment, Kait just watched him. He was so peaceful as he slept, so unguarded. Gone was the hardened fighter who had pushed her away. Somehow, she knew that she was now dealing with the real Jasper Duboix, the one he never allowed in the ring.
She longed to curl up beside him and just sleep away the day, but she was already running late for work. Kait uttered several angry curse words as she got up and headed towards the shower. She considered calling in sick but decided against it. She was still so close to her promotion she couldn't risk anything counting against her.
Dressed for work in a grey pencil skirt and cream blouse, Kait glanced in on Jasper who was still sleeping upon her bed. She felt an ache within her as she anticipated that by the time she returned from work he would be long gone. But at least this time he'd stayed after sunrise; that was some progress. Kait resisted the urge to go over and kiss him one last before dashing out through the front door and trying to ignore how unbearably tired she already was.
Chapter 44
"I'm thinking we all go eat at Fennels," Anna chirped brightly in to the phone.
"What?" Kait jolted in her office chair. She was certain that she'd dozed off for a portion of their conversation and now had no idea what her friend was talking about.
"This weekend," Anna said with an edge of annoyance in her usually bright voice, "we're double dating on Friday, remember? I was thinking of booking a table at Fennels. Apparently, the food there is sublime."
Friday. Fennels. The words bounced around Kait's mind, demanding her to give them attention even though she was so weary she was struggling to just string a sentence together.
She'd agreed to double date with Anna, Robert, and one of Robert's friends. The memory stirred within her and sharpened her dulled senses. She remembered agreeing to go, how she had made the decision to put Jasper behind her once and for all. And now he was in her bed whilst she was making plans to go out for dinner with someone else. What was going on? What was Kait supposed to do?
"Kait, is everything alright?" Anna asked with concern after the overly long pause on Kait's end of the line.
"What, um, yeah, I bet Fennels will be lovely."
"You still want to go, don't you?"
"Uh huh."
"Kait?"
Kait sighed in resignation. Was her reluctance that obvious?
"I kind of relapsed last night," she admitted shyly.
"What!" Anna's voice lifted several decibels to the point where only dogs could surely hear it. "Kait, how could you? You said you were done with him."
"And I was. I am." Kait was nodding as she spoke.
"Then why the slip up?"
"I don't know." Groaning, Kait sunk down in her chair shamefully. Why had she allowed Jasper in to her bed once again, knowing that he'd only break her heart? But he had seemed … different. He'd come to her in a moment of weakness because he needed her. Because he knew that they had a connection.
"So are you two like together now?" Anna demanded tersely.
"I … I don't know," Kait was painfully aware of how lame she sounded.
"Well, maybe you should iron that out, don't you think? Robert's friend is perfect for you! I suggest you think carefully before cancelling on Friday!"
Kait squeezed her eyes shut and wondered if she was just looking to self-sabotage her chance at happiness. What if Anna was right? What if Robert's friend was perfect for her and she was just looking for an excuse not to open herself up to someone new? Or what if Jasper was who she was truly meant to be with?
"You need answers from him, Kait," Anna ordered. "He can't keep toying with you like he does."
"I know that."
"Do you?"
"Yes!" Kait snapped defensively.
"I'm just looking out for you," Anna said softly. "I only want you to be happy."
"I know, I'm sorry. I'm just irritable as I didn't get much sleep."
"Oh?" Despite her disapproval, Anna's voice piqued with interest.