"So many guys are checking you out," Anna edged closer to her friend so that she could whisper the comment in to her ear. "You could totally find a rebound guy in here."
Kait smiled, but the comment stung her more than she thought it would. She didn't need a rebound guy. She needed Jasper. How was she supposed to contemplate getting over him when a part of her was still falling for him?
"I need another drink," Kait declared before promptly finishing off the remainder of her wine.
"That's the spirit!" Anna giggled as she followed her friend to the bar.
Chapter 25
After finishing her fourth glass of wine, Kait was starting to feel decidedly drunk. She and Anna were sat at a booth in the club away from the loud music of the dance floor. Here they could at least hear themselves think.
"So are you having a good night?" Anna asked, her eyes glassy thanks to all the white wine in her system.
"Yeah," Kait nodded. "I always have a good night with you."
It was true. Anna was like the medication every heartbroken person needed. She had a vibrancy which was contagious no matter how dark you were feeling. She'd managed to lure Kait out of her shell. Together they had danced and flirted with men on the dance floor. Inch by inch, Kait felt her confidence growing again. But then the alcohol which had made her so bold and confident started to have an adverse effect. She was sinking back in to despair. The hold Jasper had over her was strengthening once again.
Checking her phone, Kait saw that it was ten in the evening. Jasper's big fight would have long since concluded. She desperately wanted to see if he'd won. Her interest in the outcome annoyed her. She cared too much when he'd been so quick to dismiss her and cast her aside.
"You don't look like you're having a good night," Anna noted with concern.
"I am, really. It's just … " Kait lowered her gaze, and her shoulders sagged.
"You're thinking about him? About the guy you were seeing?"
"Yeah," Kait admitted softly.
"So what happened between you two? Or do you not want to talk about it?"
"It's okay, I can talk about it," Kait straightened and tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. Perhaps talking about would ease some of the pain which pressed down heavily on her chest making her sometimes struggle to breathe.
"So, the guy I was seeing was like a professional fighter."
Anna's eyes widened with surprise.
"That's why he so easily came to my aid in the parking lot when I was attacked. He's a pretty successful fighter too."
"Okay," Anna nodded thoughtfully and sipped her wine.
"But his career means everything to him. He's so dedicated, and I truly admire that. I mean, he came up from nothing, and now he's huge in his profession."
"Sounds like quite the success story," Anna said dryly.
"It is! He is! He just … " Kait sighed and looked down at her half empty glass. "He doesn't have time for a relationship. He doesn't have time for me."
Saying the words aloud made them seem more real, more weighted. Kait could feel her lower lip trembling.
"That's great about all his success and his dedication, but you need someone who values you," Anna told her sternly. "I'm not saying he has to choose between you, but he sure has hell needs to realize your worth. You deserve his time, Kait. And if he can't give that to you, for whatever reason, it's time to cut your losses and move on."
Kait wiped away a tear which had fallen down her cheek, causing her mascara to smudge.
"You're right, I know that you're right," she nodded emphatically at her friend. "It's just … it's so hard when I care about him so much."
Kait remembered how she'd traced the line of his scars. How Jasper had opened up to her about his past. The flowers he'd bought her, though starting to wilt, were still in a vase in her apartment. Each time she saw them, her heart tightened in her chest. He had to care about her. There had been dinner, kind words, and insane chemistry between them.
"With guys, time is currency," Anna explained.
"What do you mean?" Kait blinked uncertainly at her.
"The more time he gives you, the more valuable you are to him."
Kait pondered on this. Jasper gave her very little time. He dedicated most of his hours to training for the next fight. But he had to do that. He was still striving to make a point, to prove that he was more than the boy who'd had a troubled upbringing. He was aspiring to be a champion. She couldn't begrudge him such ideals, could she?
"Stop looking like that," Anna clicked her fingers in front of her friend's face. She was scowling angrily.
"Like what?" Kait asked innocently. She hadn't realized she'd been looking like anything.
"Stop looking like you're thinking it's okay that he doesn't spend his time on you. That it's okay because he's chasing some big dream."
Kait stared at her friend with her mouth agape. "You're starting to scare me, get out of my head!"
This made Anna throw back her head and laugh. "I've known you since like, forever. We've grown up together Kait. How many times have we drank wine and dissed on guys who aren't treating us fairly? I'll tell you how many times – too many! We're in our twenties now. We can't keep letting guys treat us like play things no matter how handsome or impressively muscular they are."
Anna was smirking now.
Kait waved a dismissive hand through the space between them. "Yes, he's very handsome and most impressively muscular, but it's more than that."
"Oh really?" Anna raised a dubious eyebrow.
"We had a connection."
"In the bedroom?"
"Anna!" Kait's cheeks were burning.
"Ah, okay, now it makes more sense. He rocked your world, and now you can't stop thinking about him," Anna was giggling to herself as she spoke.
"Look, wait, it's more than that, it's a connection," Kait was starting to slur her words. Fatigue was creeping up on her thanks to the wine. When she thought of her bed, she suddenly desperately wanted to crash against it and just sleep.
"Never confuse sex with love," Anna said sternly, the smile falling from her glossed lips.
"That's rookie error, Kait. And we're not rookies anymore."
Kait let her friend's words sink in. Had she been confusing sex with love? She kept telling herself that there was something genuine between her and Jasper, but what if she was wrong? What if it was just a physical connection? As amazing as that was, there could be no future in it.
"Forget about him," Anna insisted, catching the eye of a passing waiter and ordering more drinks. "Forget about him and move on. You deserve someone who sees you for the amazing, talented woman you are."
"What about you?" Kait wondered, realizing that these wine fuelled conversations about men were usually centred about Anna's latest drama with the opposite sex.
"I think I'm too busy nursing old wounds," Anna announced sadly. Kait thought of the wannabe fighter her friend had once loved. Almost a decade had passed since then. He had a family and a life, and yet Anna still held a torch for him. Kait didn't want to be like that over Jasper, sat missing him whilst he was busy living his life without giving her a second thought.
"I think we both need to move on," Kait told her friend confidently.
"Too right!" Anna agreed, her bright smile returning. "And I say there's no time like the present!"
Together the girls returned to the dance floor, clutching their new drinks. They danced until the small hours, until the lights around them became blurred and their throats ached from laughing so much and singing along loudly to the songs that they knew.
Chapter 26
Kait's head started pounding the second she woke up. Groaning, she sat up and pushed a hand through her tangled hair. She was still dressed in her skirt and shirt and stank of alcohol, the scent of the nightclub clinging to her clothes.
"Gross," Kait scolded herself in disapproval, though she reasoned that it was preferable to waking up and inhaling the scent of Jasper which had so stubbornly lingered in her apartment.
Groggily, she got up and shed her clothes from the previous night and headed straight for the bathroom. She desperately needed to freshen up. As she stood beneath the torrent of hot water, she tried to remember the final stages of the night before. She remembered dancing and drinking. She had a vague memory of seeing Anna coiled around some dark haired guy like a python. Had she left with him? Kait tried to remember the cab ride home, but her thoughts were murky.