Play hard – work harder! @J_Duboix
He'd even posted a picture of himself lifting some impressively huge weights. His biceps were flexed and beaded with sweat. Jasper was yet again pushing himself less than forty eight hours after a fight he'd only narrowly won.
Kait scowled at her phone's display before shoving it back in to her handbag. She was once again angry at Jasper, angry at his decision to push himself when he needed to rest. The time they had spent together had hardly been restful. When did he ever actually take the time to just stop and relax? If he carried on as he was, surely he'd just burn out.
The sound of her desk phone ringing made Kait jump. She took second to clear her throat and prepare her most formal answering voice.
"Good morning, Kaitlyn Stewart speaking."
"So! She lives!" Anna's bright voice bubbled down the phone line. Kait cringed as she realised she'd neglected to contact her friend over the weekend which wasn't like her.
"Anna, I'm so sorry I've not been in touch this weekend. Things have just been crazy."
"If you say you've been busy with work, I'm officially disowning you!" Anna threatened.
Kait took a deep breath and made sure that no one was lingering around her desk, eaves dropping on her conversation.
"I was busy, yes, but not with work."
She could sense Anna's mounting excitement on the other end of the line.
"So what were you busy with?" Her friend asked breathlessly.
"A guy."
Anna squealed down the phone, and Kait had to hold the receiver away from her ear for a few minutes.
"Details! I need details!" Anna insisted once she'd finished screaming.
Kait chewed her lip thoughtfully. She wasn't really sure what there was to say about her and Jasper. They weren't a couple. She didn't know quite what they were.
"It's nothing really yet. We're just … hanging out."
"Oh my God," Anna gushed, "the last time you were just hanging out with a guy we were in college. This is huge."
"It really isn't," Kait could feel her cheeks burning. She wanted to share with her friend, but she also didn't want to make her and Jasper out to be something more than what they were. He'd quite clearly told her that he didn't have the time for her. But what did that even mean?
"Are you okay?" Anna's brightness became subdued with concern.
"Yeah," Kait sighed. "I'm fine."
"Dinner, after work. We clearly need to talk." Anna instructed, and Kait didn't have the energy to fight her on it.
Chapter 16
Despite her long day at work, Kait had no appetite. She pushed some potatoes around her plate with her fork and gazed absently across the restaurant.
"I thought you'd be all glowing and excited over your new man," Anna noted. She'd already polished off the salad she had ordered.
"I was," Kait admitted with a roll of her eyes. "But I feel like I never know where I stand with him."
"How so?" Anna propped her elbows up on the edge of the table and leaned forward expectantly.
"When we're together it's … amazing," Kait smiled slightly to herself, remembering the day spent in bed with Jasper. It had been perfect, and she'd never experienced anything like it before. But just a day later, and it seemed like a distant memory, something that had happened to someone else.
"Ooh," Anna smiled deliciously and arched an eyebrow in approval. "That good, huh?"
Kait laughed nervously and waved a dismissive hand through the air.
"I'm getting off track. When we're together, yes it's great but then when his attention switches back to his career, it's like I'm invisible."
"So his career is important to him?" Anna deduced, nodding thoughtfully.
"Very."
Kait thought of his much Jasper pushed himself, how he would fight night after night. What was he even trying to prove? He was already the best in his field. Yet he'd spent all day in the gym according to his Twitter feed. Kait found herself feeling jealous of all the focus he gave his career and his training. He hadn't contacted her once during the day. If he had time to Tweet to his followers surely he had time to send her one lousy text message?
Maybe it wasn't so much that he didn't have time for her; it was more that he didn't want to make time for her.
"What does he do?" Anna asked, her eyes wide with interest as she tilted her head.
This made Kait pause. Jasper's career was hardly a traditional one. He was a mixed martial arts fighter. If she told Anna as much, her friend would instantly be concerned.
"Well?" Anna prodded her.
"He's an athlete." Which was pretty much the truth. "And he's extremely focused on his career and on training."
"Urgh," Anna wrinkled her petite nose in dismay. "Athletes are the worst to date. They don't drink, and they spend more time at their precious gym than with you."
Kait flinched at the honesty of her friend's words. Already Jasper was forsaking her for training sessions at the gym, and they weren't even properly dating yet.
"But he's just driven," Kait found herself leaping to Jasper's defence. "There's nothing wrong with that."
"No," Anna agreed, "of course not. But it just means that there isn't much room in his life for a relationship. And that's what's troubling you, right?"
"Right."
A few days ago, Kait would have said that she didn't have room in her life for a boyfriend. But then she'd met Jasper, and she knew that she'd make room for him. He mattered to her. What they shared together felt special and worth finding time for. She blinked back tears as she wondered if Jasper had any intention of ever calling her again. How could he spend so much time with her, in her bed and in her home and then just detach like he had?
"If being an athlete is his life, it's tough to ask him to choose between his passion and his passion for you," Anna continued. "I'm sure both are equally as important to him, he's just used to picking the one over the other."
"What would you do if you were me?" Kait asked, pushing away the remains of her dinner and letting her head fall in to her hands.
"Well," Anna eyed her friend with a sincere gaze, "I'd ask myself how good the sex was. If it was great then maybe it's worth pursuing. Even a dedicated guy can be pulled away from his career for a steamy bedroom session."
Kait grimaced. She wanted to be more than a steamy bedroom session for Jasper. She wanted to get to know him, to understand what made him tick.
"Maybe stop over thinking it," Anna added helpfully. "If things are great in bed, just go from there to start with. All the other stuff will come in time."
"But what if I always come second to his career?"
"Won't he always come second to yours?" Anna quipped. Kait understood where her friend was coming from. For so long, she had always put her career first, chasing relentlessly after promotions. But Jasper had challenged that perspective. He'd made her want to chase after something more substantial than a pay rise. If she hadn't had that same effect on him, then maybe she'd read everything wrong. Maybe in his eyes she was just a steamy sex session, another way to work out before a big fight.
"Don't let it get to you," Anna reached across the table and gave her friend's hand a reassuring squeeze.
"I won't," Kait smiled falsely. "I'm just glad to be able to talk about it all with you."
"That's what best friends are for," Anna smiled warmly at her.
Chapter 17
Exhaustion hit Kait like a brick wall as she climbed the stairs to her apartment. All she wanted to do was curl up in bed and sleep away her sorrow. She was tired of Jasper plaguing her every waking thought. At least when she closed her eyes and slept she'd be able to get some respite from him.
Anna's words were still ringing in her ears. Was second fiddle to his career ever going to be enough for Kait? Maybe she needed to count her losses and just walk away from him now. Checking her voicemail as she walked, she noticed with a heavy heart that she'd still not heard from Jasper. Clearly walking away from what they had was proving much easier for him.
Holding back tears, Kait pushed open the door to her floor and began walking towards her apartment. The hallways were blissfully empty. She turned a corner, and her door came in to view but there was something waiting outside it. Kait froze as she clocked the large bouquet of flowers bound together in a purple bow. They were propped up outside her door.
With her heart beating excitedly in her chest Kait headed to her door, scooped up the flowers and let herself inside. The heady floral scent engulfed her senses as she pushed her way in to her apartment and flicked on the lights. The bouquet was made up of roses, lilies, and carnations; it was beautiful. Kait was so busy admiring it that she also didn't notice the white card placed in the center. Reaching for it, she walked over to the kitchenette area and turned on the faucet. The flowers might have been out in the corridor for quite some time and would be in desperate need of water.