Married to the Bad Boy(71)
“Everything happened so quickly.”
Even the ring on my finger feels foreign, as though I’m in someone else’s body. Though, of course, we’re supposed to keep up with this charade and I’m supposed to be—what? It’s not exactly a girl’s dream to marry the guy who knocks you up.
“I can’t even imagine what you must be going through.”
“Honestly, I just want a good bagel from home. The ones here—they’re not really the same.”
“God, I know!” Melanie happily seizes on the topic and we spend time reminiscing about home.
“And what the hell is with the kissing? It’s a bit weird, isn’t it?”
“Nah, I’m pretty sure it’s a French thing. Like shaking hands. I think they call it, la bise.”
I click my tongue and let the French roll over my tongue. “La bees.”
She laughs at my poor attempt and I throw a napkin at her. The door opens and a gust of cold air make me clasp my mug of hot coffee.
“Oh, hey, Tony.”
I look up in surprise to see my husband giant form standing over us with a very dark look on his face. He ignores Melanie’s greeting.
“Get up, you’re leaving.”
“I just got here. What’s your problem?” I shoot Melanie a look, silently apologizing for his rudeness.
“We need to fucking talk,” he says in a voice that bears no argument. Then he turns toward Melanie. “Sorry about this.”
Melanie waves him off, looking slightly disappointed as I stand up.
“I’m sorry, I don’t know what’s wrong with him. We’ll do it again sometime.”
“Yeah, sure.”
An impatient rap on the glass makes my muscles tense. What the fuck is his problem? I follow him outside.
“You were so rude to her,” I tell him the moment the door swings shut. “What the hell is wrong with you?”
He grabs my wrist and drags me to a secluded corner, his lips white and shaking. “I’ll tell you what’s wrong with me. You’re a fucking liar.”
“What?”
The acidic tone cuts me to my core. I don’t know what he’s talking about, but the vicious look he gives me makes me swallow down bitter guilt.
“You were pregnant with that jackass’s kid the whole time, weren’t you? He told me that he made you take pregnancy tests.” He searches my stunned face. “Well, is it true?”
“Tony, that’s not really—”
“Jesus.”
His eyes fracture in pain and he turns away from me as though he can’t stand the sight of me. I feel like the worst human being on the planet.
“Tony, I have to tell you what happened.”
“Fucking save it,” he hurls over his shoulder.
I step in front of him. The furious look on his face scares me—that hint of a predator that I saw in the bar lifts his head and glares at me—and I swallow hard, hoping he won’t just brush me aside.
“Trust me, you want to hear this.” I take a deep, shuddering breath. “It was the day I went to get some of my stuff. Rafael was waiting for me, and he had the tests. He wanted to know it was true.” I swallow hard as Tony gives me a venomous look. “They were positive. I didn’t know I was pregnant.
“Tony—it’s your—it’s your baby.”
“What?”
He stands there, his white face suddenly bloodless like the snow under his feet. The silence is deafening between us. The traffic from the street muffles to a distant murmur as my heart beats in my head. My mouth opens and closes. Why the fuck is this so hard?
Please don’t hate me.
I talk in a very small voice. “I—I forgot to take my pills, my birth control, the first…couple times we were together.”
“You what? You forgot to take your fucking pills?”
I nod shamefacedly and he swears so loudly that it echoes down the alley.
“I don’t believe this.”
“It’s real. I’ve been to the doctor. I-I’m sorry, Tony.”
His hands tremble as he rakes them through his hair, looking anywhere but at me. He doesn’t want to acknowledge it. I don’t blame him.
I’m sorry I got pregnant with your kid, who you obviously don’t want. I’m sorry I entered into your life at all.
I’m just sorry.
“When were you going to fucking tell me?”
“I know, it’s just—there was so much shit going on, and I was afraid to tell you,” I force myself to raise my voice, “and I just want to say that you don’t have to do anything—you don’t have to be in its life. I totally understand.”
He seizes his hair and pulls, shaking his head. “I cannot fucking believe this.”