Married to the Bad Boy(48)
The rest of the evening passes slowly. It’s torturous, and I feel more and more rotten as the hours go by. She dials every fucking member of my family to tell them the news, and she cries, and she gives Elena the numbers of every recommended florist and bakery and venue that she can think of. Worst of all are the constant references to my dad, and how proud he’d be and how she wishes he were still alive. Finally it’s time to go, and Ma stops me right as I’m about to leave the house.
She clings to my jacket. “Tony, you better raise this baby right.”
“Of course I will.”
“I mean it,” she snaps. “I know how you spend your nights, and I don’t want to see that sweet girl hurt.”
“It’s not like she’d know about it.”
Her hand whirls out of nowhere, slapping me hard across the face. It’s fucking humiliating. She glowers at me.
“What the fuck?”
“I don’t want to hear any of your smart mouth. You have a responsibility to your wife and baby. It’s time to grow up, Tony.”
Tears glaze her eyes and the air leaves my chest.
“I didn’t raise you right.”
“What?”
“You followed in your dad’s footsteps, after I did everything I could to stop it.”
My voice dips to a growl. “You’ve got to stop blaming yourself for that. I chose the life. It was a mistake. I have to live with that, not you.”
“I have to live with every stupid decision you make, Tony. That’s what you don’t realize. Promise me you’ll be good to this girl. You’re not going to leave her for someone else when she gives birth to your baby. Promise me.”
My eyes water from staring at her for so long. “I won’t.”
Ma looks at me for a moment as though she wants to believe me, and then she closes the door.
* * *
This is too much.
This is way too fucking much.
If that prick doesn’t kill me, my mother will.
I slam the door to the apartment and Elena flinches beside me. She cringes with that emotion that I hate to see on any woman’s face. She’s never seen me angry.
My mother’s anguished face flashes through my mind as I rip open the refrigerator door and pull out a beer. I snap off the top, glaring at Elena as she stands in the kitchen, carefully avoiding my eyes.
I guzzle down the beer and feel it add to the pool of hot, burning guilt.
“Tony, I—I’m really sorry for all this. I know it must have been really difficult. It was hard for me, too.”
She’s just another girl who wants something from me. Why the fuck did I ever agree to do this? What amount of money is worth ruining my relationship with my mother, the only person I care about in the whole world?
“Oh, it was hard for you? Please, tell me how it was hard for you. My own mother slapped me. She expects me to keep my dick in my pants for our marriage.”
Her beautiful face whitens. “I like your mother, and I don’t want to see her get hurt. I’m not—I’m not proud of what I did.”
The heat burns down my throat as I swallow another mouthful. “I can’t fucking do this.”
“What? No, Tony, please—”
“I’m sorry, babe, but it’s just not worth it. I can’t do this. I can’t fuck one woman for three months, I can’t be a good husband, I can’t do any of the things you want me to do.”
She stares at me for a moment, flinching from my words. I hate that look on her face. I hate anything that makes me feel for her. An awful sound pierces through my chest as Elena tries to draw in breath. Then her body shakes and my chest caves in as she grabs my shoulders.
“Tell me what I have to do. I’ll do anything you want. Just don’t—please don’t—”
The vein on her forehead looks as if it’s going to blow, and then the smallest tear squeezes from her eye.
And I’m done.
Be good to her, Tony.
My mother’s voice snarls in my head and I wrap my arms around Elena’s body, unable to stomach the look of destruction on her face.
What if I don’t want to be good? I never gave a shit about being the good guy. Why should I now? Because she’s a great piece of ass?
“I’ll ask someone else,” she says finally.
“No.”
It bursts out of me immediately like a visceral reaction. Suddenly blood churns in my head as I think about her fucking some other made guy. No fucking way.
Fuck, I’m stuck with this chick. I couldn’t live with myself if I pawned her off to someone else. I’m not attached, but I want to possess her. She’s my prize, and I like having access to her pussy 24/7.
“I need more.”