Married By Midnight(46)

He reached out to hold her hand.

“I don’t want to lose you either,” she carefully replied, without spilling all her emotions onto the floor. She must stay calm and maintain her dignity. “But being a part of my life isn’t good enough, Garrett. I will be your wife in name only—I have agreed to that—but I cannot stay with you ‘for a while,’ as you put it. That would make me your temporary mistress. Do not misunderstand. I am not angry. This has been very enjoyable and I have no regrets, but when this engagement comes to an end, it must be all or nothing after that. If we are to be united in name only, then I must insist that we stay true to the terms of the agreement, for I cannot settle for less.”

He rose up and took the seat across from her. “I see.”

For a long time they sat before the fire, saying nothing.

Anne was not surprised by his lack of response, for he had been clear about his goals from the beginning. Now he wanted to be with her until the passion ran its course, then cite the terms of the contract, reclaim his freedom, and that would be the end of it.

Though considered damaged goods by some, in her heart, she truly believed she was worth more than that.

Their eyes met and he stared at her for a long time while his expression remained impassive. Unreadable.

Anne’s heart beat frantically. Perhaps all he needed was more time. Had she spoiled everything by giving him an ultimatum?

“It’s past midnight,” he said in a suddenly casual tone. “Isn’t there a rule about not seeing your intended on the day you walk down the aisle? Isn’t it supposed to be bad luck?”

She fought to breathe normally and rose from her chair. “Yes, that’s what they say.”

“Then I should return to my own room.” Turning, he went to fetch his clothes, then added lightly, “I wouldn’t want to take any chances, tempt fate...evoke the curse or something.”

Anne watched him get dressed and could have wept as an awkward silence poured into the room. Everything had been so perfect, but then she had demanded all or nothing.

She kissed him good-bye at the door and worried that she had asked too much of him, and had already received her answer—and it was not the answer she had been hoping for.





Chapter Fourteen





Garrett woke at dawn the following morning to the astounding reality that it was his wedding day. It hardly seemed possible, and he felt both astonished and transformed—for he was passionately in love with his bride. When he rose from bed and walked to the window, it was as if he were seeing the sunrise for the first time.

There was still something missing, however. Something he needed to add to the magic of this day... Something he had to do.

A short while later, after he dressed and took a quick breakfast, he stepped onto the early morning train with a strange mixture of bewilderment and awe. So much had happened over the past two weeks. He had come home to a father who had changed considerably since the last time they’d spoken. The duke was no longer a tyrant, but instead was a frail, frightened man who remembered nothing of their former estrangement, and wanted Garrett, his youngest son, at his side.

Or perhaps the duke did remember their estrangement, and that was why he was so frightened of death, and of being alone. Hell was not a pleasant thing to dream about. Garrett understood that. He also understood the desire to atone.

The duke was coming to the end of his life. His mind was failing him. Garrett found he could no longer bear a grudge toward the man for his mistakes in the past. He felt compassion for him now.

More importantly, there was forgiveness. And if he could forgive his father, perhaps he could forgive himself, too.

As the train pulled away from the station, Garrett felt a renewed sense of purpose. This morning he would travel to London to see Dr. Thomas. He would invite him to attend the wedding.

The wedding...

That, above all, was at the heart of this awakening. To be more specific, it was Anne. Anne, who harbored no bitterness toward those who had wronged her. Anne, who wanted a love that would last a lifetime. She did not let her past define her.

It must be all or nothing.

He would not insult her honor by offering her less. Today—if she would have him—he would become her true husband in all ways and pledge his heart, body, and soul to her until the end of time. He couldn’t wait to get down on one knee and propose to her properly, in front of everyone. Pray God she would accept him.





* * *





The train arrived at Paddington Station at 10:15 am. Garrett shouldered his way through the crowd and whistled for a hackney cab to take him to Dr. Thomas’s offices on Park Lane. Since he was arriving without an appointment, and wasn’t even certain if the clinic would be open on Christmas Eve, he instructed the driver to wait, for he might need to be taken to the doctor’s private residence in Mayfair.